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[Focus & Concentration] Dangerously Scattered Thoughts
#1
Hello there everyone, my name's Stormy. I just made an account here today!

Now.. I've been researching and planning since last November, but I'm having a problem that is starting to cause issues. I legitimately cannot force, no matter how hard I try. I've tried binurals, meditation, white/pink noise, concentration exercises, almost everything I've seen on tulpa related forums, but I just can't concentrate. I know a lot of people say that they can't focus, but it's starting to get worse for me.

Whenever I try to force, it's like there are multiple random dreams going on in the back of my head. For example, I would think of my tulpa, and all of the sudden there would be a musical and instead of my tulpa there would be something else. I try to get back on track, but it feels like my mind is purposefully trying to stop me from thinking about her, using whatever means of randomness or fear it can grab hold of. Just recently, I even started remembering some repressed memories that have been really bothering me. I'm afraid that forcing with those negative thoughts associated with her is going to cause problems in the long run, so I decided to take a break for the time being..

Passive forcing hasn't really been working for me either since my concentration is always jumping to something else.. I want to be able to do this, I really do. But I just want my mind to work with me instead of against me.

Is there anything I can do to help with this? I've tried so many different things and I just want one thing to work.. If I can get help with this, I promise your time won't be wasted. ^.^
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#2
Do you have a lot of problems in life because of concentration issues? Does it make school or work difficult? This sounds like something that may go beyond tulpaforcing, especially when you bring up things like repressed memories.
Host: Sakura
Tulpa: Sarah (began June 5th, 2014), Alyx (Began July 23rd, 2014)
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note: usually browsing on mobile, so cannot quote properly
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#3
The concentration issues at school are generally associated with my anxiety, and I can usually focus when there isn't someone 3 rows behind tapping their pencil or otherwise (I tend to focus on everything but the work at a rather impressive rate). The repressed memories only started coming up when I started remembering recurring dreams I've had and trying to come up with meaning by analyzing them (I did it without wanting to.. -.-). I've tried to get professional help for years, but the most I get is a new prescription that doesn't do anything. I have a lot of good and innocent reasons for wanting a tulpa, but I'll admit that is the more.. selfish reason. I figured if I could just get past the forcing part that we could work on those other things.
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#4
Hey there, I'm new to this forum too, though I have been lurkin' and workin' for a while now.

After writing this post, I realized that we're talking about a pretty tricky subject, and that I couldn't possibly go into as much depth as I would like. If you have any questions please don't hesitate to ask, I would be happy to elaborate. If you need someone to talk to, I would be more than happy to listen. Do not underestimate the power of sharing.

Quote:I figured if I could just get past the forcing part that we could work on those other things.

I want to start on this one because it seems to be the root of all evil. I thought the same thing, in those exact words many times. The thing is, you never really get 'past' forcing. By (my) definition, forcing is any interaction between you and your tulpa, and should be cherished instead of being viewed as something you need to get past.

Even if the conversation isn't going both ways, you're still forcing, so share "those other things" with her! You may view them as negative, and maybe they are, but your tulpa will view these things as conversation topics (More importantly, conversation topics that matter).

Quote:Just recently, I even started remembering some repressed memories that have been really bothering me.

These repressed memories may hurt coming up, but out of the hurt comes knowledge, and understanding. In a sense, it's important to view these experiences from a third-person perspective. Experience the hurt (Or joy, or other emotion), but remember that the event happened, and there is nothing you can do to change or alter it.

If you get too close to the pain you once again become apart of it.

Quote:Whenever I try to force, it's like there are multiple random dreams going on in the back of my head. For example, I would think of my tulpa, and all of the sudden there would be a musical and instead of my tulpa there would be something else. I try to get back on track, but it feels like my mind is purposefully trying to stop me from thinking about her, using whatever means of randomness or fear it can grab hold of.

This is something that your mind is purposefully doing, but not quite in the way you think. This is the work of the ego, made up of all the things we experience as "ourselves". Personality, fame, reputation, emotions, possessions and so on. In the complex society we live in, the ego takes supreme power, and is terrified of losing control. It constantly fires off ideas, emotions and insecurities to convince us that the ego is the master.

The 'goal' of meditation is to escape the ego's grasp, to go toward a deeper understanding of yourself and your surroundings. For most, tulpa forcing achieves a similar understanding, and is why the two go hand in hand.

Quote:I've tried binurals, white/pink noise, concentration exercises, almost everything I've seen on tulpa related forums

I first used these for meditation, and it took me a while to understand the purpose they serve. They are not a magic cure to concentration issues, rather a tool to supplement and alter meditation in various ways. In order to reap the benefits of these, you first must acknowledge the grasp your ego has on you.

I don't really know what I'm talking about.

Quote:Is there anything I can do to help with this?

Know that whoever this beautiful being you are creating cares about you. Deeply.
Know that however worried you are about forcing, you can't go backwards. You and your tulpa will only progress.
Know that whatever you are going through, others are going through. And we're all here to help.
Know that what you are trying to accomplish is incredibly difficult, and that you have no reason to be discouraged.

I want to go into more depth about meditative technique, although I wont be as descriptive or eloquent as some of the greater minds out there. To start, I would strongly recommend Journey of Awakening: A Meditators Guidebook as a starting point. Another great read by Ram Dass is Be Here Now. Best of luck to you.
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#5
Question for you, Stormy: what exactly is going on in your active forcing attempts? As I understand it, there are quite a few ways to force, and the method may matter. I gather from what you've already said that you've mainly been trying to picture her - if that's the case, what's the process? Do you try to imagine her in her entirety all at once, or do you fill things in sequentially? What sort of surroundings are you including, if any? Have you made attempts to parrot or puppet, and has that gone any differently?
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#6
I had the same problem as you for a day or two (its actually been like 4 days or so since I started, only).
The method I settled on was to start off as an auto-hypnosis, go through the steps, go deeper into your own mind (the countdown and everything) but instead of planting an idea or reassuring something to yourself, you do tulpaforcing.
have you tried that out?
also, tulpaforcing should be fun. you should enjoy the time you waste on it.
if you're not enjoying it, if it feels like a chore, then something might be wrong there.
I feel I've been doing a lot of progress, just by changing my approach to it. well, if what you're doing right now isn't fun, then what would be? some parroting/puppeting may also help, specially during the early stages. (do not make an habit out of it though)
I have this facility I once created for lucid dreams, I call it "the Waypoint". The way point is full of doors and keys. the keys work in their own ways: some open doors, some are meant to use on your own self, some may even rip space and open up a new dimension. It's a place I created to... well... dream. whenever I'm lucid, I go there. That's where I've been tulpaforcing. I just go on adventures like I used to, but I picture my partner, Agni, alongside me. the longer the adventure goes, the more real she feels. You may start puppeting at first, but before you realize, you're not even thinking about it anymore.
Do not force conversations just because you feel you need to talk. They come on their own. If you don't talk, that's fine too.
narrate your experience, just speak in your head whats going on. "Dude that spider just freaked the heck out of me!". The more fluid your "storytelling" gets, the less distracted you get. your problem is that you're not entertained. there's something on your mind that you'd like to be doing, rather than your "boring" tulpaforcing session.
If you're still distracted, try some auto-suggestion on "I will do tulpaforcing, because it's important to me."
and above all else, your own approach is the best approach.
Each mind is it's own. There are no rules, only guidelines.
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#7
I've tried a lot of different methods. Visualization wise, I've tried full body, just the eyes, and then not visualizing and only focusing on her personality. I've made attempts dealing with puppeting and parotting, but it works out the same way. Surroundings wise, I either visualize her in a part of my wonderland (a library), "the void", or my room. With every attempt I've made with active forcing, the same thing I mentioned always happens and I lose her to my thoughts. To note: at one point a friend of mine brought up the possibility of her trying to deviate, but during a few of my "sessions" I told her that I needed her to keep one form for now so that I would know if she changed, it wouldn't be her.

Oh Cacuu I posted my reply to InfernoEngine before I even saw your's. I don't consider forcing to be a chore at all. I basically live in a dark box with a monitor and some instruments. I would be forcing for hours on end if I could with my ludicrous amounts of free time. Even with a half hour of meditation before starting, I was still having issues.
It's not in our blood; it's in our hearts.
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#8
Ah. On the one hand, I'm glad that you have been so thorough with varying your method (means I haven't wasted my time on someone lazy :P ). On the other hand, that means your problem is unlikely to have a simple fix. I'll lurk here unless I think of another angle. Good luck, little one.
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#9
Thanks. Yeah I'm not going waste anyone's help. I'm going to see if I can get one of my friends to cooperative force with me and see if that helps a bit. I believe that once I get her vocal, forcing should be a lot easier. There's usually a key for every locked door, and if there isn't, then there's gotta be a way to FORCE it open. c':
It's not in our blood; it's in our hearts.
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#10
Reading guides is often a good idea
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