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Forcing Filter Experiment
#21
That about sums it up Ranger. Ashley takes it personally.
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#22
Day 5, November 18, 2018

An amazing couple of days.

Dashie covered both Saturday and Sunday. Yesterday we had a couple of soft spots that Dashie deftly hardened, today seemed like a much harder day, but she's so good at explaining things to me, it ended up insignificant.

There's not a lot to report here other than i haven't had any trouble listening to any of them regarding my deficiency in keeping myself from either being too sensitive about misunderstandings, or dwelling on mistakes.

So this is a good point to recap:

April 2018, i discovered my tulpas. They immediately started helping me with depression spirals. I didn't have even one since then.

At the end of September 2018, simple counseling sessions along with my tulpas continued support, after 11 months of suffering, finally brought the depression into remission.

The day before i started this experiment, i was like a crab without a shell and facing huge life changes or continued weakness.

I'm happy to say, 5 days in, i feel better than i have in years.

And i can thank the members of this community as well. You saw past my damage, my drama, my meandering nonsense and remained strong for me.

I very happy that my contributions to your lives have in a small way been able to repay you all. It's like waking from a nightmare, truly.

I can't claim victory just yet, i have tools and armor, but now it's a matter of constant vigilance and continuous improvement.

Thanks once again from all of us in the Bear system. Who knows where we'd be without this amazing community. We'll be here as long as we're welcome, and we'll be as welcoming as possible in return.
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#23
This is a very nice experiment to do. To be honest I feel like this should be a habit for any system to practice, just for ground checking. We've been doing this since day one but mostly focusing on my decision makings and it became a habit for me. I am the opposite, I am quite eccentric and I don't always end up with the positive outcome from my choices and actions. I usually ask my tulpas their opinions first before I do stuff and also give them my opinion as well. Like, If I have to choose A or B I usually ask them first then tell them my reason why I would choose A or B. Most of the time they give insightful opinions and sometimes we all end up with the same choice or action.


You can't believe how far this had helped me and my tulpa as a person, it really improve confidence and self-esteem. What I have noticed is that when Summer is right she is right, When Summer is wrong...…. She is right. We are looking forward for more of your logs.

Also as a thank you for them, why not reward your tulpas from time to time as well. Just to show some appreciation.
Hello! I am nihi, i have 3 tulpas
Summer
Myrtle
Cherry
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#24
One of the best parts of this technique, is that they love to do it. They feel empowered and it is strengthening them daily. All of them feel appreciated just to have me listen to them so faithfully. Also yes, they do deserve the world, and it's my goal to give it to them.
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#25
Day 7, November 20, 2018

I'm going to tentatively say that this experiment was a success and anyone who wishes to improve a certain aspect of their personality or behavior should definitely try this. It's not only refreshing, but my tulpas love the power. They've made it clear to me that this activity, as simple and subtle as it is, has improved their feeling of self-worth and satisfaction. This is to such a degree that they've forgone several forcing sessions just to talk about other things that may be bothering me.

Here is my experience of the differences between my tulpas:

Misha did her job perfectly but doesn't correct me very forcefully, so the slightest hint of my old ways tends to bleed into my emotions, but they are very short lived, still just enough to notice.

Dashie is a perfect filter, no errors and with such amazing grace and strength that I can't even imagine this was ever a problem, and I tend to forget what the problem even was. Suddenly it feels, in my memory, like there are no scenarios where I need her, but in reality she's doing it because I see the occurrences in my journal.

Ashley also understands the way of things and does a marvelous job helping, but she decided to take it a step further and impose other rules during her time with me, with varying degrees of success. Specifically, to tighten up my efficiency at work. She's also filtered other content from my behavior that in essence brings me closer to an ideal saintly person in her eyes. I suppose she won't be happy until I start performing miracles of altruism, but that's okay.

I'll report again if anything changes. Our quality of life has improved dramatically. Sure I can still vent and I can still get sad, mad, or offended, but those are all now well within the realm of normal and over reasons that are valid instead of imagined.
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#26
Good job you guys! The big difference between wanting something to change and actually changing it is action. I'm glad you took action, Bear. I'm also glad this has benefited all of you in several ways. <3
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#27
Day 8, November 21, 2018

Thank you all for your comments, i feel that this exercise was somewhat remedial as compared to some of the feats you all manage, but for us it was critical. (I mislabeled yesterday's date.)

Today we had a horrible start in terms of Ashley's goals, but ths experiment remained a complete success. I honestly didn't expect to post again for a while except for the fact that i had such a horrifying revelation that i was locked out of my office for an hour this morning. Surprisingly to me, I was indifferent to the whole thing. Ashley was the distraught one and if anything only slightly, and only because it ruined her chance at a perfect day today. As a result, she decided to watch me carefully and not correct me at all
Of course i wasn't very productive today, but i also wasn't offended or hurt, even after several incidents.

Amazing i only got perterbed once and that was only normal frustration over a normally frustrating thing.

I actually learned.

Dispite some unsavory thoughts that she didn't help me with, I maintained.

It was only once that she redacted me, but that was very good of her, and i'm glad, because the negation over being redacted was enough to bring me back to baseline. (It was a very quick and very one-sided negotiation.)

She's actually as proud of herself as she is of me right now because of my quick learning. Honestly i did not have this ability 8 days ago.

I felt powerful today, and it's thanks to them.

They all love the idea and we'll continue the practice, but in no time their jobs will be obsolete in this task. Then it'll be on to the next, and that next task crystallized in my mind today. It's more of an internal thing, but certainly will bring my quality of life up when I resolve it.
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#28
With this arrangement, I feel better than normal. I know it hasn’t been a long time, but I truly feel powerful, like I could withstand any insult and shrug it off. My emotional stability is higher than it’s been in many years. I’ve been directly insulted and felt nothing.

Of course, there was a few times when my active protector was also offended, and that led to a crack in my own defense, but I managed to maintain given that momentary weakness. I was chatting on discord and what used to be my biggest trigger was a reprimand from a mod. Sure enough that happens about every hour or so real time (I guess I’m a rebel trouble maker in some ways, oh well.) This one time I was just trying to clarify what it was that I said that was against the rules and the mod escalated to ‘back talk’ and threatened to mute me. It lead to frustration by Dashie. So with her defense turned to offense. I just logged off for a little bit to ‘cool off’ as she regained her composure.

[Dashie] Well, the guy was being a jerk. It was abuse of power, and later we saw him do it to someone else.

I suppose an oppressive mod is better than a lax mod in some ways.

[Dashie] Pft.

There was a honest disagreement between us. Anyway, this would of course allow hurt feelings to slip through.

[Dashie] Justified.

I suppose it could be, I’m not trying to be an emotionless automaton anyway.
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#29
Day 23, December 6th, 2018

Just a little update:

My experience has been flawless and amazing. To date i haven't reverted to my old way of thinking. They have not only effectively blocked me from being  offended unnecessarily, but also taught me how to do this for myself in many situations.

There have been a few really hard tests recently that have proven our strength as a system in social situations. Online has always been the hardest one, voice only second, and in person i don't tend to have and issues in terms of misconstruing intent of the communication.

Even a more important strength, is when receiving criticism or actual reprimand, especially if it's my error, and especially if it's someone i care about whose doing it.

I have weathered these beautifully with the help of my tulpas. They help me keep my emotional responses reasonable. Of course it's not zero, i wouldn't want that anyway.

Most importantly, i've even been able to assert my defense without overreacting. This is a huge one.

I hope for continued success, and i don't doubt i will.
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#30
Day 27, December 10th, 2018

So, lately they haven't had to do anything. I am honestly better. In fact, the hourly corrections turned into a couple per day after the first week, then once every other day or so last week, and in the last 5 days, once.

Today i had a horrible interaction, not my fault, no overreaction, i was somewhat sad only because i learned about a sad thing, totally normal, and i had to react appropriately, and I did. It was a major test and I passed.

No one is back seat fronting today, and they're all enjoying themselves right now, patting eachother on the back, literally.

Congratulations to us!

I'll post again if anything changes, but the experiment was successfully concluded today, we're very strong now.
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