From ideation to completion...
#1
Well, hi, I'm Umboro, and I very recently stumbled on the concept of tulpas. I've been working on one since then (a few days ago) and I'm feeling a bit strange about what "progress" I've made...or I think I've made. I don't know what's been accomplished by tulpa, if anything. Maybe it's just me.

But anyway, I forgot to add a real intro. I'm not very good at those. Honestly, I prefer to just jump in. But then there's no way to get what I'm talking about. So I guess I'll include a backstory here.
I'm just...me. I've never really had many close friends, since I've come to not like people much (long story.) I was digging through random places on the Internet a few nights ago, and stumbled on this. You know, one of those times where you can't sleep so you google something random and then follow links to stories and it turns into a three hour browsing spree. It was like that. But anyway, as I read about how these things can be created, and used as great company, as well as actually SEEN (among the other senses) I became more and more fond of the idea of having one of my own. I set to work making one, and it's barely ever left my mind since then. I've been passively forcing it during school and after when I'm doing one task or another. Last night was my first actual active session with it, and it seemed to do wonders for the tulpa. I woke up very early and decided I'd stay up solely to devote time to my tulpa until sunrise when I had to start getting ready to leave. The personality, which I had been trying to give the tulpa, was introduced in that time. I left a lot of freedom for it to create parts of itself as it wanted. As far as I know, I had about 16 traits that I gave her (it just seemed to identify as female; not sure how I know that) and I left the rest to her. I want to be sure she's happy, too, even if she may not be sentient yet. If tulpas are supposed to stay throughout your life, I'd prefer that she and I get along.

Anyway, sorry to write such long posts. My mind is working at about a mile a minute, and just wants to spit everything onto paper (metaphorically, of course.) I'll add to this hopefully daily, or maybe more frequently if there's a breakthrough. And I might start dating posts, too, like some of the better reports I've seen. I'll refine my style over time.

Wish me luck, my friends of the forum! I hope that my Tulpa turns out as well as some of yours have!
Reply

Sponsors:
Lolflash - click it, you know you want to

#2
Welcome to the forums. Creating a tulpa and living with them is a huge plunge but if you are persistent it can be a great experience. The more you read the better, get an idea of how other people interact with their tulpa. Learn from them and their mistakes and make sure you don't make those yourself.

Most people seem to give up with the first few weeks. After that a lot of people with give up in the first couple of months. Give the process some thought and decide if you're going to be one of those people or if you're going to stick around. The longer you have a tulpa the more you get out of them.

As for your introduction, well, you could have done better. Are you male or female? What sort of form do you think your tulpa with have? Be that of a human or something else. What are your interests? Ramble as much as you want.
Reply
#3
Ah, questions! And for questions I have answers! Thanks for the advice, too, by the way. I've read lots of guides, including FAQ_Man's, which I'm using as a sort of base.

Yes, I'm aware I could've done better...but I appreciate the constructive criticism. Wouldn't want a so-called circle jerk here. But! I'm a male, and my tulpa hasn't really any form yet. I've noticed for some reason that there are lots of ponies for some reason or another. To each his own, I suppose. I tend to imagine her as a cheetah usually, which is strange, but it's the first thing that comes to mind. My interests are pretty scattered. I like lots of things I can't do often, like practice marksmanship or do some detailed art work. But, I'm not good at talking about myself. I prefer to answer specific questions. Easy, short, and sweet.

As for giving up, that's not something I'm going to do. I'm determined to see this through. I saw the rules for newbies, about not starting what you can't finish. As far as I go, my tulpa is already alive, and forgetting it now would be like killing it. Trust me...I know what I'm getting into. I scoured guides, articles, and the like for hours and hours at a time to help keep my mind on this tulpa.

I'm kinda hoping to keep this about the progress of the tulpa, because part of me thinks I'm getting somewhere with it. The other part says it's too soon to get the results I think I'm getting. Time will tell.

Thanks for your reply, though, and I hope to see you around the forums more.
Reply
#4
Welcome, Umboro!

I understand how difficult it can be to organize thoughts to put on to paper. You find yourself jumping ahead, or forgetting things, and it all comes out as a jumbled mess. But that's one thing about these progress reports: it's your space, so you can format it however you want to. And I know exactly what you mean about answering questions... I hate when someone says "so tell me about yourself." I'm usually like, "well.. what do you want to know?"

In any case, keep up the good work with your tulpa. It can be incredibly thrilling when you're making good progress, and I'm excited to see how she turns out. I'll be following along with your report.
Join me in my personal journey: Finding the Friend Within Myself
~I will remember you, Artemis~
Reply
#5
Friday, May 16, 2014

I've decided to call her Kyrja for now. It seems to stick pretty well, except...well, she seems to identify as a cheetah. I guess the name doesn't need to match the culture. Anyway...

A lot has been going on in the last 24 hours since I posted. Mostly just tremors in my...erm..."social" life. Arguments and the like.

On the bright side, I've made some good progress with Kyrja, which I'll go into detail about later tonight or tomorrow. My mind is all over the place, like a ski-slope yard sale. I'll consolidate some, and post a progress log soon.

Now you may be wondering, "Why is he even posting at all?" Well, just to let you all know I'm still alive, mostly, and to acknowledge everyone to comment on this thread. I'm glad to have support, and an audience!

From now on, though, I think I'll keep this mostly for progress, like I keep saying.

It's a pleasure to be posting with you all, and I hope you enjoy the reports!
Reply
#6
Saturday, May 17, 2014

Happy Saturday evening, everyone! I hope you all enjoyed your days today! And also, *bump*

Except it's not /really/ a bump, but who cares?

Anyway, so I promised another post today, describing any progress I've made. I guess I'll start from the day before yesterday morning.

I woke up from a restful night of sleep. Kyrja was in my dreams, but she didn't do much besides...well, exist. She reacted to words and sentences, but mostly kept out of the way of whatever it was I was dreaming. I felt pretty energized, and it was a pretty nice morning before going off to school. In class, she sat quietly in my mind while I passively tulpaforced in class. During one assignment, I had a random song suddenly fill my head, a really annoying song that kept repeating. I dealt with it pretty well and continued my work, but out of the blue, this thought materializes and then dissipates just as quickly. All it was, was three words. "Make it stop."

So I did, reacting to what I assumed to be the tulpa since I didn't mind the music too terribly much, even if it was a five second loop. Not much else happened significantly until that evening, when I watched Shrek (classic movie; I love it) and that one part that played "Hallelujah" came on. Again, a spontaneous thought just stated, "This is a sad song." That made me think that Kyrja was responding to music more than anything else, so she must like music. Content with this note, I settled down to sleep soon after.

Except I didn't. A friend I hadn't seen in a while had talked to me, and I basically shrugged off my tulpa while I talked to my friend for a couple hours, making Kyrja my secondary concern. She didn't seem to like that at all. I couldn't feel her presence for most of the day, until I ended up in a fight with my friend over some very offensive things she said (yesterday's issue) and I just wound up ending the friendship. Afterwards, after a while, it felt like Kyrja came back, after quite a bit of apologizing. Today, she's been quiet. No spontaneous sentences, although I have gotten a couple thoughts that came through as random pictures.

Moving into the reflective part, I wonder if I offended Kyrja. I know tulpas have feelings, but I didn't expect much sentience this early on. There's so much I need to learn, but everything is taking me by surprise here. I hope Kyrja turns out right.

My head has been hurting a bit lately. I hope I'm not trying too hard.

Will post when anything else happens. Or doesn't happen. Either way.
Reply
#7
Still plateau'd. Nothing's happening. I'm trying but I only get a few signs of sentience. It's kinda disheartening. I have exams soon, maybe my down time after the test will be good forcing time. Or talking time. I wish she'd speak.

--A very exasperated Umboro
Reply
#8
Happy 4th, my American friends!

Still here. Haven't given up. Progress has been minuscule, but there. I'll be continuing my entries soon.

Once I make another breakthrough, I'll post all my progress since last time. It's getting exciting now! She's beginning to speak!

--Umboro
Reply
#9
Hi Umboro! i see that you've been on this for a while!
I'd like to point out that tulpae are very interesting creatures; for three days i've passively tulpaforced, and Saiyu is already sentient and speaking in my mind! I've read some surveys different tulpae have taken, and many say doubt was a hard spot in their creator's mind. I've learned to respond even when I think I'm parroting and to believe everything my tulpa does is his own doing. sounds like Kyrja has been sentient since "Make it stop."
You mentioned she likes music--try playing different things you like and seeing how she reacts. Saiyu loves dancing. I've also been reading to him. That's probably helped us get places.
If you're really stuck, take a look at this thread: http://community.tulpa.info/thread-gener...your-tulpa it helped us!
Reply
#10
Thanks for the feedback! It's always nice to know someone's watching (reading?) my progress! And, uh, sorry for the long time between responses. I wrote a really long log and then realized...I forgot to press "post."

But anyway, onward to the next log, attempt two!


Over the last few weeks, starting over a month or two ago, (I can't remember exactly) up until now. I'm sad to say that keeping Kyrja in my mind was hard. She'd slip away for days, sometimes. I thought she was gone for good, but I still tried to find her again. I wanted her to once again fill the spot she left. I was hungry and decided to bake some lunch in the oven. I set the timer for thirty minutes after I put the food in, then went back to playing Soul Calibur V.
Around that time I had an idea. I told Kyrja to remind me when the food is almost done. With that, I continued as usual, not expecting her to come back. After a bunch of losses against a really tough opponent, I decided I'd stand up and hit the bathroom. After I was leaving the bathroom, I thought about my lunch again, how it must have been burning (sometimes I miss the timer's ding.) So I kinda said to her in my head, "I really wish you would've reminded me..." and just as I finished the thought, the timer went off. After thinking about it, I quickly apologized to her. This was the first time I couldn't doubt what she did. She reminded me, even though she said nothing. Since then, I knew that I couldn't be doing this all in my head.

And with that, she started to speak. A lot.

Of course, my mind naturally parroted her occasionally after she spoke, like a second processing of what she said. But now we can communicate. And it's amazing. But now that she can speak, we've run across issues.

Kyrja is a temporary name. But she doesn't seem to identify it as her name anymore. I think she wants something else. And also her species. She alternates between cheetah (again) and fox. I don't know how to help her decide. Any suggestions?

And thank you for putting up with my staggered posts. It means a lot.
Reply


Forum Jump:


Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)

Sponsors:
Lolflash - click it, you know you want to