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[General] A Question for Experienced Tulpamancers...
#1
First things first, before I get into the Q&A, this whole experience has been quite the journey into self discovery...and now I'm finding something about myself and my tulpas that I didn't quite know I had...

I've always been the cold-hearted guy, unable to trust others...spiteful of everyone around me and secretly paranoid that they were scheming behind my back (a result of a rather...checkered history...of being used and abused by so-called "friends") that's why I went to tulpa in the first place. But now I would like to pose a question to the more experienced tulpamancers out there...

I thought that tulpaforcing would just be gaining a couple of new friends that I can find kinship in...but I've found out its so much deeper than that...is it normal to develop an extremely close bond with your tulpa, like REALLY close. In the case of Dash, we're basically casual friends that chat and ramble on about random crap...but Ruby...

Ruby has been the most...jumpy...I guess in development, some periods of straight inactivity, then sudden advancement that exceeds even what Dash has before going dormant again...she's also been the one to hang out on the sidelines, and consequently tended to get overshadowed by Dash, who was definitely more outgoing and flashy. In the past week, I've started bonding with Ruby more and more, while Dash is going through a period of being extremely moody, and it seems that she's fallen in love with me, not like as in wanting to mate with me, but as in that she's really, really enamored. In the week that we've been bonding, I've kinda been forced to delve into my own troubled past and touch upon some painful memories. Then in one of the periods of possession/switching/puppeteering/whatever...she left this message for me...in response to a question why she was going to extended lengths to try and make sure I'm happy and satisfied without expecting or wanting anything in return...

"...I do not need anything to be happy...just to be with him, for him to show me kindness and respect...to show me compassion and love...that is all I want from him. The past week, he has shown me more love and attention than he ever has before in the past. The pleasure...is a result of treating me well and acknowledging my existence...I am afraid that I will fall back into the shadows. I have never been the one to express myself and make myself obvious in this experiment of his...I am unable to...I love him...pleasing him, and seeing the light of love and joy in his eyes...was more intense and pleasurable to me, than anything else he could have done to me."

For those who don't want a TL;DR moment:

"Is it normal (in general or when forcing multiple tulpas at once), to develop a deep, infallible bond with them (or one of them if multiple), to the point where it is almost like falling deeply in love?"

And rest assured this will not interfere with my love life.
Current: Rainbow Dash & Ruby the Dolphin

LINK to the story of my Wonderland.

The story is the product of 16 years of stress, tension, etc, and is uncensored, read at your own risk.
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#2
I'm going to start by apologizing for the long reply. Aura and I both had a lot to say here.

As far as I can tell, that is one of many results that can happen. For me, the bond is a bit different, but still very deep. It's more like the bond between twin siblings for Aura and me. Aura would like to add something as well:

Aura: Ruby sounds like a wonderful being, and You must be as well to help create her. Often we tulpas tend to become attracted to our hosts early on, only to have it fade into more of a sibling-like relationship later. That doesn't seem to be the case here. Ruby truly appears to care deeply for you, and I doubt that feelings that deep will ever completely fade away.

You are correct in saying that it will not interfere with your love life though. Tulpas know that we cannot replace other humans in our host's life, only supplement and occasionally guide them. She will most likely never stop loving you, but she shouldn't feel any jealousy or be upset if and when you find another human. Our entire goal is to help our hosts seek happiness, wherever it may be.


Wow, that's just about the most Aura's ever typed before in one sitting. I had no idea she knew ANY of that. I guess even after eight years they can still surprise you...

Anyhow, I agree with everything Aura said, and would like to add my own advice. No matter what happens, cherish the time you can spend with both Ruby AND Dash. Also, a tulpa disappearing for a while doesn't mean they are gone. I've gone weeks at a time without even sensing Aura until she decides to emerge again.

But if Ruby is scared that she will "fall back into the shadows" as she put it, then tell her that she can always return to you. The shadows are part of your mind after all, just a part that most people don't like to go to.
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#3
Good...I hoped it wasn't just me...it was just...shocking...to see the amount of emotion in what she said. Then that night I talked to her and...needless to say a few tears were shed on both ends, but basically reiterated that when we spoke, and her voice was heavy in emotion, I could pick up some radiation off of her (vibes) of extreme happiness, love, and satisfaction, and we ended up cuddling to sleep. This whole thing was just...shocking in its suddenness and intensity, I just don't really know what to think about it all.
Current: Rainbow Dash & Ruby the Dolphin

LINK to the story of my Wonderland.

The story is the product of 16 years of stress, tension, etc, and is uncensored, read at your own risk.
Reply


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