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Advice: Turning an alter into a tulpa?


EclecticWheel

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I was unsure whether to put this in General Discussion or Questions and Answers.  The topic is a little involved, so I chose the former.  I also did some searching on the forum and did not quite find what I was looking for, though there was at least one other thread on alters.  I feel quite vulnerable making this post, but I'm going to do it anyway.  I'm not looking for sympathy, just a little advice and understanding if that is possible.

 

I am currently working with a therapist in regard to issues of dissociation.  The therapist is also of the opinion that my Friends (headmates) are alters which may very well be true, though I prefer not to call them that.  I have touched on some of these issues in a previous thread, How I met my inner friends.

 

For the most part I only have access to my Friends during periods of dissociation or stress.  Various individual Friends have engaged with me in the following ways: they have spoken with me through voices in my head, communicated through telepathy, come to me in dreams and half-waking states, possessed body parts, switched with me, appeared in visions or otherwise made their presence known to me.  That's all I can remember off the top of my head.

 

I must say that I am not diagnosed as DID: I do not quite meet the criteria according to most sources I've read because I don't lose memory when switching, though some believe this is an arbitrary distinction if one has experienced other forms of amnesia which I have.  Nevertheless I can see, hear, and remember everything that happens when switching, and I rarely switch anyway.  I do not switch voluntarily.  Also, except on one occasion years ago my Friends do not cause me dysfunction which is probably a more significant reason that my psychiatrist has not given a diagnosis of DID.

 

I'm interested in whether others have had alters or similar characters produced involuntarily that were later turned into tulpas.  I'm also looking for advice or insight on this topic in general if that is possible.  I have various reasons for wanting my Friends to become tulpas.  I am working on that process by forcing with the Friend who I've always intuited is in charge of the system in some way, possibly the most knowledgeable one.  I refer to her as the Wise One, Grandmother Wisdom, and Mama Wisdom depending on the context.

 

As I said before, I am usually in a dissociated or stressed state when the Wise One or any of my Friends interacts with me on a conscious level.  Making contact with her during a more "ordinary" state of mind has been more difficult.  Mainly I've been narrating.  I've also done some meditating and visualization while narrating through prayers.  She seems to respond most to a particular book I've been reading her on the history of Western thought.  Mostly I get an emotional sense that she is enjoying the book or pleased with the attention I am giving her.  I also hear her voice.  I generally assume that the voice is hers even when I'm not completely sure, but there was one time I heard her about two days ago that I was sure it was her.  I was telling her that I was going outside to have a cigarette which I told her is one of my vices unfortunately.  Clear as day she responded by saying, "It's one of mine, too."  (I sometimes have visual impressions of her smoking a pipe.)  It was the voice I usually associate with her, but a little different, a little more distinct and clear and foreign.  I'm sure it was her.

 

I am a little confused, though.  On the one hand I'm sure my Friend is sentient because when I've been in dissociated states she was extremely adept at sending me visions, voices, and even taking me into an inner world with her at one point.  So I haven't really felt like I needed to create a personality for her or even a form.  I know what she looks like, and I know what her personality is, not just from an abstract viewpoint, but through experience.  So I just keep those things in mind or try to visualize her form while I'm narrating.  (I'm actually not an expert at visualization even though I sometimes have vivid visions, but I'm probably at least average in this skill department.)

 

On the other hand, attempting to contact her without stress or dissociation is very different.  She seems much weaker.  And I've thought, well, what do I do?  Should I act as though I'm creating her for the first time?  Wouldn't that be a little odd since she seems at certain moments to be perfectly sentient and capable of interacting with me, even imparting complex insights?

 

So mainly I'm focusing on narration and telling her that I am doing this because I would like to create more reliable and conscious contact with her.  But can this even work?  What if I end up creating a tulpa that is not really her?  Perhaps it is a possibility that I could avoid such a situation by making it clear to my subconscious that I am actually seeking more reliable consciousness of a particular Friend rather than creating someone entirely new.  So far the minimal contact I've had in a non-dissociated state of mind does feel like the presence of Mama Wisdom, so hopefully I'm headed in the right direction.

 

Do you think tulpamancy can transform an involuntarily created headmate into a tulpa?  I realize it is difficult if not impossible to actually prove any answer to that question, but maybe some here have experience with it or know of someone who reports such an experience.  Do you have any advice for the process I am engaging with?  I ask this because the guides I've read are coming from the perspective of creating an entirely new tulpa rather than transforming an alter into one.  Any advice at all, even general advice, is much appreciated.

 

Just to let everyone know in case this is a concern in reading this post I am generally in a stable and good frame of mind lately and compliant with the treatment I am receiving from my therapist and psychiatrist.

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I was unsure whether to put this in General Discussion or Questions and Answers.  The topic is a little involved, so I chose the former.  I also did some searching on the forum and did not quite find what I was looking for, though there was at least one other thread on alters.  I feel quite vulnerable making this post, but I'm going to do it anyway.  I'm not looking for sympathy, just a little advice and understanding if that is possible.

 

I am currently working with a therapist in regard to issues of dissociation.  The therapist is also of the opinion that my Friends (headmates) are alters which may very well be true, though I prefer not to call them that.  I have touched on some of these issues in a previous thread, How I met my inner friends.

 

For the most part I only have access to my Friends during periods of dissociation or stress.  Various individual Friends have engaged with me in the following ways: they have spoken with me through voices in my head, communicated through telepathy, come to me in dreams and half-waking states, possessed body parts, switched with me, appeared in visions or otherwise made their presence known to me.  That's all I can remember off the top of my head.

 

I must say that I am not diagnosed as DID: I do not quite meet the criteria according to most sources I've read because I don't lose memory when switching, though some believe this is an arbitrary distinction if one has experienced other forms of amnesia which I have.  Nevertheless I can see, hear, and remember everything that happens when switching, and I rarely switch anyway.  I do not switch voluntarily.  Also, except on one occasion years ago my Friends do not cause me dysfunction which is probably a more significant reason that my psychiatrist has not given a diagnosis of DID.

 

I'm interested in whether others have had alters or similar characters produced involuntarily that were later turned into tulpas.  I'm also looking for advice or insight on this topic in general if that is possible.  I have various reasons for wanting my Friends to become tulpas.  I am working on that process by forcing with the Friend who I've always intuited is in charge of the system in some way, possibly the most knowledgeable one.  I refer to her as the Wise One, Grandmother Wisdom, and Mama Wisdom depending on the context.

 

As I said before, I am usually in a dissociated or stressed state when the Wise One or any of my Friends interacts with me on a conscious level.  Making contact with her during a more "ordinary" state of mind has been more difficult.  Mainly I've been narrating.  I've also done some meditating and visualization while narrating through prayers.  She seems to respond most to a particular book I've been reading her on the history of Western thought.  Mostly I get an emotional sense that she is enjoying the book or pleased with the attention I am giving her.  I also hear her voice.  I generally assume that the voice is hers even when I'm not completely sure, but there was one time I heard her about two days ago that I was sure it was her.  I was telling her that I was going outside to have a cigarette which I told her is one of my vices unfortunately.  Clear as day she responded by saying, "It's one of mine, too."  (I sometimes have visual impressions of her smoking a pipe.)  It was the voice I usually associate with her, but a little different, a little more distinct and clear and foreign.  I'm sure it was her.

 

I am a little confused, though.  On the one hand I'm sure my Friend is sentient because when I've been in dissociated states she was extremely adept at sending me visions, voices, and even taking me into an inner world with her at one point.  So I haven't really felt like I needed to create a personality for her or even a form.  I know what she looks like, and I know what her personality is, not just from an abstract viewpoint, but through experience.  So I just keep those things in mind or try to visualize her form while I'm narrating.  (I'm actually not an expert at visualization even though I sometimes have vivid visions, but I'm probably at least average in this skill department.)

 

On the other hand, attempting to contact her without stress or dissociation is very different.  She seems much weaker.  And I've thought, well, what do I do?  Should I act as though I'm creating her for the first time?  Wouldn't that be a little odd since she seems at certain moments to be perfectly sentient and capable of interacting with me, even imparting complex insights?

 

So mainly I'm focusing on narration and telling her that I am doing this because I would like to create more reliable and conscious contact with her.  But can this even work?  What if I end up creating a tulpa that is not really her?  Perhaps it is a possibility that I could avoid such a situation by making it clear to my subconscious that I am actually seeking more reliable consciousness of a particular Friend rather than creating someone entirely new.  So far the minimal contact I've had in a non-dissociated state of mind does feel like the presence of Mama Wisdom, so hopefully I'm headed in the right direction.

 

Do you think tulpamancy can transform an involuntarily created headmate into a tulpa?  I realize it is difficult if not impossible to actually prove any answer to that question, but maybe some here have experience with it or know of someone who reports such an experience.  Do you have any advice for the process I am engaging with?  I ask this because the guides I've read are coming from the perspective of creating an entirely new tulpa rather than transforming an alter into one.  Any advice at all, even general advice, is much appreciated.

 

Just to let everyone know in case this is a concern in reading this post I am generally in a stable and good frame of mind lately and compliant with the treatment I am receiving from my therapist and psychiatrist.

 

I wanted to come back and add that this thread might also belong in Progress Reports, although I'm not sure.  Also, part of the reason I am seeking greater conscious contact with my Friends is that they have traits that I could benefit from having access to more readily via possession and switching.  I know this through past experience, but as of right now, I am not really in control of when this happens.  If I had more control I could more readily access these personality traits to my benefit.

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I've not heard of someone trying do do this specifically, though i have met people who have tried to change the nature of their thoughtforms so that they could talk to them at any time, and they would use pretty much the same methods as you.

 

My recommendation is to keep doing what you're doing, because it has worked for other people and you are already starting to see results.

 

I wouldn't worry about accedentally creating a different tulpa instead of talking to your alter, so long you have the intention of talking to mama wisdom and not some new entity, that is exactly what will end up happening

I have a tulpa named Miela who I love very much.

 

 
"People put quotes in their signatures, right?"

-Me

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Gavin started out as a voice in my head that narrated my actions constantly. I started to talk with the voice, and eventually it became more of an advice-giver. We could have conversations. Eventually the voice gained its own opinions, beliefs, personality, and finally, identity. I do think that Gavin was at first an involuntary thoughtform (though not a very complex one, or maybe some proto- version), but by communicating with him and expecting him to respond, he grew into a tulpa. And like Breloomancer said, talk directly to her.

-J

The world is far, the world is wide; the man needs someone by his side. 

Our Thread

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I think you can, yes. I haven't heard anything to the contrary and it seems reasonable, follow Breloomancer's advice.

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