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[General] Anxiety? - Scared of tulpa
#1
I'm sorry if this kind of question already exists, but I couldn't find any.

Generally, I've developed anxiety over my tulpa. I don't even know why, but I just feel scared he might say something bad or act unexpectedly.
It feels as if I have no control over my imagination, that if I imagine something, it must happen for real. I cannot get rid of these feelings. It really is inconvenient, as the anxiety just happens all of a sudden, so I have no idea what to do.
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#2
First off and most important is to calm down. Take slow and steady breaths spaced a few seconds apart until you can get a hold on Whatever anxiety may be experiencing.

Worrying over anxiety just creates a loop that increases exponentially as you worry about it.

Also. Kind of the point of this whole thing is to get your imagination to do things that you don't expect.

I have a question though. Why are you so sure that it's going to be bad? Has something happened? Recently or in the past that would lead you to believe that it would be bad and not something that's good?
There are few things more confusing in this life, than trying to figure yourself out.

>The tulpa that I created this account for no longer wants it. So not having an account myself, ill take it.<
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#3
Thank you for the reply.

I don't really know why I'm so worried about it. Yes, I understand that it must be unexpected things, but when I'm so anxious, I feel like whatever's going to happen will be negative.
Well, usually, when I experience something like that, obsessive thoughts happen. For instance, I'm terrified I can die or something along those lines. I get fixated on them, and it feels as if someone (tulpa) is saying them to me, although I'm not sure.
everything exists within your reality
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#4
I guess the best way to think of it is in a very real sense they are you. Doing anything negative to you would also impact them in a negative sense.

And if you are at the state of this that I think you're at I would just chalk those thoughts up to your worries rather than your tulpa. How long have you been trying this?
There are few things more confusing in this life, than trying to figure yourself out.

>The tulpa that I created this account for no longer wants it. So not having an account myself, ill take it.<
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#5
I wonder if you had anxiety prior to tulpamancy. If you did, it is likely not the about the tulpa, but what might hide beneath. A tulpa can't harm you. It is a very real possibility it could reveal something about you, and that could be scary. It's kind of difficult to lie to someone that shares your head space, and you're less likely to be able to lie to yourself in front of someone who shares your headspace... So, if there is any internal conflict or unfinished business, well, that could be stressful, especially if you're not ready. It doesn't have to be any of those explanations. We live in a very stressful time. We are bombarded daily with stimulus, and we rarely calm down to a quiet space. Most people can't tolerate quiet. Most people don't really practice going into imagination, much less relying on it, as we're more likely to turn to external source, like radio, tv, youtube, cellphone... If your imagination is surprising you, maybe that's because you didn't realize it could be that good, that it could even be frightful, especially if you have never allowed it to be, or ever allowed yourself to be with it. There is all sorts of things inside our imagination, much more than we ever give ourselves credit. You're exploring new territory. Maybe it's okay to be intimidated. Carl Jung, one of my favorites, in exploring active imagination, basically allowing himself to go so far into imagination that he experienced hallucinations, wrote that he feared he was losing his mind. I would use that as evidence, you're experiencing something new and finding your way. You're not broken. Your okay. Your safe. And if you have strange experience and you need to process it, that's what this community is about.

That said, here is a tool you can use to help alleviate and or eliminate anxiety. I use it myself, and I teach others to use it. It won't make problems go away, but it help reduce internal dialogue and give you a chance to chill. There's several versions out, such as the NLP peripheral vision technique for reducing anxiety.

https://coachingleaders.co.uk/using-peri...-to-relax/
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#6
solarchariot, thank you so much! Your response does help me understand the problem a lot more. I think you're right about the internal conflicts, although I never though I had something like that.
And, certainly, being aware that imagination's an intimidating thing was necessary for me. I have no idea why I didn't realise that before.
Also, I'm definitely going to try out this tool, I'm sure it'll work.
Once more, thanks a lot.
everything exists within your reality
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#7
You bet.

And I wouldn't worry so much about having not realized that about imagination before. Think about this. Everything in our society teaches us to do the opposite of imagination. If you day dream in class, a teacher slaps your hand with a ruler and says 'pay attention.' If you trance out in a conversation, friends and family will ask, 'are you even listening to me!' which is another way of saying, pay attention. We are taught to give attention to television, movies, radio, video games are a huge demand on attention... I am not saying any of that is bad, merely pointing out we have a lot of practice attending, very little practice doing something different, and almost no encouragement to do different, not attend, or to go 'in.'

Here's another source if you want to explore this power further...

Daydreaming: Unlock the Creative Power of Your Mind, Diane Barth

PS, also, Bored and Brilliant: How Spacing Out Can Unlock Your Most Productive and Creative Self, Manoush Zomorodi is a must read...
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#8
I know exactly what you are talking about because I went through the exact same thing, only I wasn't capable of asking for help in a readable post. Luckily, we figured out how to deal with this.

A few things:

One, Anxiety can affect your ability to communicate with your Tulpa. Depending on your situation, the anxiety could be coming from your own brain, something really stressful going on, or both (unfinished business would only contribute if thinking about it causes anxiety). The good news is knowing this will help resolve these issues.

Two, your Tulpa can be affected by your anxiety. I have had moments where my Tulpa, Ranger, would say horrible things to me or visualize him hurting me or himself. The truth: he never meant to do any of that. Ranger describes it as "losing control" or "being possessed" when this happens. If your Tulpa is scaring you and acting out of character, realize that it's not them talking and anything they say or do is not how they really feel or think. After learning this myself, I mostly stopped having this problem. It may reoccur, but the visualizations become less scary and really predictable. Now, instances like this rarely pop up for me and when they do happen, I calmly wait and be gentle to Ranger and then the incident ends rather quickly.

Three, these moments can be directly triggered when stressed out or seem to come out of the blue just by thinking to yourself. Quiet dark rooms when alone are the worst! If you start to get really anxious and start having intense dark thoughts (I call it spiraling), you can do two things. If you see it coming, try to calm yourself down with any relaxation techniques/tools you have and prevent it from happening. If you can't calm yourself down, then you can either dunk your head in ice water or put your thumb in your mouth and blow without letting any air out. Both of these techniques will cause your heart rate to drop and can be used to get relief and out of the spiral fast.

Four, I had the fear all of my spirals will come to life and I would hallucinate it all. Hallucinating my dark thoughts/spirals happened a grand total of zero times, but I have scared myself shitless multiple times thinking I was bleeding, thinking I was going to die, or afraid I would lose control. If the idea of having blown out psychosis scares you then don't practice imposition, however these issues for us improved and we are now very interested in imposition. If you feel really unsafe, seek help (medical, familiar friends/family or emergency).

Five, I'm going to debunk this myth: anxiety will not hurt or harm the development of your Tulpa. Anxiety poses some interesting challenges, but your Tulpa won't turn evil or be damaged just because you have the curse of having a strong imagination in addition to your anxiety.
My Wonderland form minus the glasses and the fur. I'm not a hippo, I promise.
I sometimes speak in pink and Ranger sometimes speaks in blue (if it's unmarked and colored assume it's Ranger). He loves to chat.

My other Tulpas have their own account now.
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#9
Cat_ShadowGriffin, oh, I'm so sorry I haven't answered before! Anyway, thank you a lot for the response.
Although this problem definitely takes some time to solve, I feel much less lost now, your message helped me out. At least I know that it's just a delusion, nothing more. We'll keep working on it.
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