Stanford Tulpa Study looking for more participants
(if you're chosen they'll pay for travel and lodging!)

[General] I think I created one on accident
#1
I have been searching online about Tulpas for months but have only recently grown the "balls" so to speak to talk about it.

When I was a kid I had an imaginary friend. He showed up when I was 5, he was in his mid twenties with his own personality and he became like a big brother to me. I had a rather traumatic childhood and I was socially isolated by my parents so it was understandable that I would create this friend to help myself cope.

His name was Toby. He was very much his own person and he supported me in alot of ways and helped me to deal with the hell that I grew up in.

As I got older, things got better but Toby never went away. He was always there to support me through breakups, tell me jokes when I was sad or even just sit with me when I needed to cry. He always felt real to me.

He still does.

The thing I'm most curious about is in the last year or so his appearance has changed, his name has changed and even his nationality. He has an Irish accent that he never had before. And he has become less and less of a big brother and his interactions with me are more romantic in nature. Sometimes when Im lying in bed I can feel him behind me, or his arms around me. If I close my eyes I can smell him, hear him breath and last night, the reason I am finally asking about this I felt him kiss the back of my neck.

It's not distressing and im by no means isolated,psychotic or any of those things. I have friends, I go out regularly with them and have a great time.I have a full time job and Im completely functional. I know that Toby isn't a real person even though he feels real to me. He follows me everywhere, tells me jokes while I am at work and bored or makes faces behind my boss's back to make me laugh.

He's really my best friend.

What I want to know is if anyone can relate to this? Has anyone's Tupla begun acting in ways they didn't expect? I.E becoming romantic, changing their name or accents and things like that.

Thanks for listning to my ramble. Its nice to meet you all

EDIT: I want to add that I don't have any control over Toby. He says, thinks, does and acts in a way that a friend in real life would and if this doesn't make me sound crazy, and I hope it doesn't we've even gotten into arguments about stupid things and I don't mean like I was sitting around screaming at myself. A good example would be when I'm watching a movie and Toby is with me and just randomly decides that there should be popcorn even though I don't want to get up and make it. He nagged at me for a good 10 minutes before I finally got up to make it haha. And one of our most recent arguments happened to be over the fact that I was invited to six flags and I didn't want to go with my friends because I was concerned about money. It was Toby that told me that I was denying myself way too much and I deserved to have a little fun. He told me that if I didn't go I would regret it so I found a way to make it work.
That's why I don't think he's unhealthy. Why would something that convinces you to be social and have a good time be unhealthy. ....now I feel like I'm trying to convince you haha sorry. This is just new to me.

thanks again <3
Reply

Sponsors:
Lolflash - click it, you know you want to

#2
I think this might be a common occurrence around here, a tulpa coming from someones childhood. Toby seems to pretty much have all the signs of a full fledged tulpa too, so you shoulder worry over anyone thinking your crazy here. As for the acting unexpectedly thing I wouldn't worry about. Tulpa's usually change to their likings but it might become a problem if you're uncomfortable with him loving you.
Reply
#3
Thanks for your reply Smile
I'm not uncomfortable with it at all. The only thing that ever made me uncomfortable about him was all the years I spent thinking I was crazy for seeing him.
I actually told a therapist about him once and you know she told me that she didn't see anything wrong with it since it didn't prevent me from living a normal healthy life.
Reply


Forum Jump:


Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)

Sponsors:
Lolflash - click it, you know you want to