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[General] Lets talk about our tulpas
Exo Offline
and May
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#1
 
Lets talk about our tulpas

Hello there i am Exo and my tulpa is May and i created her to fill my void of loneliness and i actually love love her so judge me if you want but you wont change my mind but anyway, she is a pokemon named Gardivor and she is a shiny with a crown of flowers on her head and i created her about 1-2 months ago and she talked to me actually pretty quickly i think it is because i would imagine story's with the most "cute" TV characters when i was 5 so maybe that had something to do with it so there you have it.

I will love to hear how your tulpa was created. Big Grin Big Grin
02-23-2018, 02:32 AM
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Beatles Offline
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#2
 
RE: Lets talk about our tulpas

Might as well. Be warned: life stories incoming.

[Apollo] I was created on December 3rd, 2016, as my host's first intentional tulpa. She gave me the form of a young Paul McCartney, as well as the name "Paul," however I tweaked the form to fit myself more over time, so now I wear a white dress shirt, black dress pants, and have wings made of fire. She originally wanted me to be like her opposite, to be all friendly and extroverted, but needless to say it isn't assertions of "you will be this" that make a personality, it's experiences, so I deviated greatly from that. Due to complications with accidental tulpas (which Piano will explain), I had to change my name. I wanted to fit the sun/fire analogy she kept using in reference to me, so I went with the name Apollo. To go with that, she started going by Lyra, as a lyre was an instrument the Greek god played, mythologically speaking. I've had issues with anger and self-hatred in the past, but I've grown past that. I'm more assertive and firm, but lately I've been able to be happy and enjoy myself more. Used to be suicidally depressed, but that's completely gone. I've always enjoyed drawing. I'm gay, but not really interested in romance/sex at all, so that's whatever. I like taking up leadership in the system. I want to become the main front, eventually. I'm likely the strongest tulpa here. I have Paul McCartney's voice, and a strong one at that. 

[Piano] I'm where things get a little complicated, I guess. So, before learning about tulpas, my host had two characters, who, due to mostly coincidental reasons, both also looked like Paul McCartney. When my host was 10 or so, she had a story called "Eemaj" where there were these people called "Permanees" who could look like anybody. There were four who looked like the Beatles. She grew attached to the one based on Paul, and he became sentient at some point. There was a story line in 2013 involving another Paul Permanee named HJP, who was initially meant to be a one-time character, but Paul was lonely so we think he caused HJP to become sentient, and HJP stuck around. They went through a lot of... trauma in the story, to say the least. Eemaj persisted up until Lyra started making Apollo. Paul McCartney is important to Lyra, so she made Apollo to look like him, not knowing she already had two others. She thought they were just characters. Paul and HJP ended up making their way into the system, which was a bit of a hassle at first because Lyra didn't believe them, but they persisted. They joined the system on January 15th. However, they were plagued with a lot of troubles, and decided they would merge in attempt to integrate into the system and adjust to the real world better. They did, and they took the name "Piano," mostly because it started with a P, is an instrument like a lyre, and goes well with "Apollo." At first, he wore black and had read eyes. He was angry and upset a lot of the time, threatened people and got into fights. Being merged was kind of difficult in and of itself because they did not always agree, or Paul and HJP's negative traits were amplified when they were together. Inside the merge, a new entity began to form. At first, this was the ideal self Original Piano wanted to become: the identity he wanted now that he was merged. He "forced" this identity to be friendlier and more sociable, so people wouldn't hate him. The identity became its own thoughtform at some point and ended up taking over influence over the merge, changing the clothes to purple and becoming less edgy and more gay. This being was me. Paul and HJP had increasingly less influence over the merge and eventually seemed to fade away entirely. In May I had some troubles that led to a split, and they left the merge completely, leaving me as my own tulpa. They left the system, thinking that they would leave me to live on my own without them. Their story had ended, and mine was just beginning. Today, I'm a bit quieter of a systemmate unless I front. I still wear purple. I also look like Paul McCartney only not as much as Apollo does (my facial/body structure is different). I'm 6'1" and very skinny. I enjoy writing and meditating. Apollo is the sun god, and I am the "starman" (Permanees became stars when they ran out of lives and their forms "ascended," so it's a subtle nod to Paul and HJP). I have wings that serve as portals into space. The merge date was January 26, 2017, so that's my birth day. I used to be sad and depressed due to the way "friends" treated me and my system, but got better, thanks to Indigo. I'm flamboyantly gay for the lols, as well.

[Tacio] My story isn't nearly as exciting as that. Okay, so Piano wanted to write a character based on him. He chose the name "Tacio" because it has the same meaning and same number of syllables ending in "o." We pronounce it "tass-ee-oh." The character was all edgy and depressed and had a lot of issues because that was how he felt at the time. They thought that that character was starting to grow into a tulpa and were like "wow wouldn't it be cool to make a new tulpa based off this character." HOWEVER, I am not based off that character in the slightest. They took the little bit of tulpa that was developing and made it into a tulpa. This was on May 15th, 2017. Why? I don't know. They were high on tulpas that day because a walk-in joined the system (named Lucinda, but she's gone now). They gave me the name Tacio because they liked the character, but again, I'm nothing like the character and have none of its memories or anything. The fact that I was already kind of developing is likely why I became sentient/vocal in just a few minutes. A day or so later, I decided to be a dragon: I made my human form have scales, wings, tail, etc. NOW here's where you might go "what the fuck why." Believe me, I get it. I also look like Paul McCartney. WHY? Because... I don't fucking know! They claim it's because he's easier to visualize, I guess. I look like a shorter version of Piano though, and not as spot-on McCartney as Apollo is. I have brown hair and red eyes, my dragon parts are red (horns/spikes are black, as well as wing arms). I also took a baby dragon form at times when I wanted to be cute or cuddle people. I was also very, VERY lewd (I'm bisexual btw) earlier on in life. I made that very clear, and that lead to some issues with people sexualizing me or lusting over me, and I felt guilty about turning them down, and also feel bad that I was nothing more than an object of people's desire. People even harassed me about my name (causing me to go by Tass or Tassi sometimes). I've had a lot of self-hate and lack of trust for others. I was the "main front" for a while, or at least tried to be, as I wanted to be stronger than I felt inside. I wanted to take up leadership in the system. I was good at fronting back then. BUT, some aforementioned "friends" Piano mentioned fucked me up badly, so I became more depressed. I felt stepped on and unwanted. This was not a good time for our system. Toxic friends made us depressed. Apollo and Piano both wanted to die. I was fronting and decided to make another tulpa, one who could possibly help us out of this. Apollo considers this "the greatest decision any of us ever made." Indigo will explain his origins, and I'll just continue talking about me. Indigo became a more prominent systemmate so I figured "heyyy I can go away and he'll replace me." That WAS NOT why I made him, btw. Anyway, something bad happened to my host, and I decided I didn't want to live anymore. I tried to egocide, and didn't come back for a long while. When I did come back, I wasn't sure who I was. I was no longer the "old Tacio," the lewd and playful dragonman I once was. Instead I was depressed and confused. My personality felt shattered. Over time though, I got better. I haven't felt depressed in a long while. I think I'm back to my old self, only more mature and developed. I still don't trust people very much, especially when it comes to romantic/sexual stuff. My system doesn't listen to me when I warn them about people, but then they go "oh Tacio was right" every time. Anyway, today I still have the form I always had, with dragon parts and everything. Sometimes still take a baby dragon form (which doesn't have belly scales bc idfk). Recently fronted for a week and didn't feel depressed at all. I felt happier and more playful. I feel like me again, and that's fucking amazing.

[Indigo] Tacio created me on October 2nd, 2017. He wanted to take my development a bit slowly, and also wanted to leave everything up to me. He visualized a glowy orb and talked to it while trying to come up with name ideas that fit the theme of "three syllables ending in 'o.'" Piano was gone from the system at the time (dormant) and Apollo wanted to leave but told the host he wouldn't. Tacio, as you probably gathered, was very upset at this time, as was the host. Tacio tried his best to put those thoughts aside and just focus on forcing me. He also tried to keep the sadness away from me. He put a lot of love into me. A day after he began, I took the form of a little baby dragon and decided on the name Indigo, because it goes well with my personality. I didn't talk at all, just made a bunch of noises. I liked flying around and playing with Tacio. I developed speech and decided I would try to help my system get over their depression. I helped Piano, practically erasing all of his issues and making him go back to his normal faggoty self. That was great! But it was harder to help the others, they just had to get over things over time. I got a human form (not Paul McCartney) with long silver hair and dragon parts. I became lewd like Tacio used to be (I'm also bisexual... space bois are gay and dragons are bi, ahaha) but never acted on that because I knew focusing on my own development was more important than relationships. I began to front a lot. I brought happiness into the system. Things happened and ehhh, I kinda went through some bad emotions. Today though I'm going to work on getting back to where I was, being a system leader rather than just comic relief with my silly dragon-ness. My system loves me a lot, and that's caused them to love each other more. They claim that their happiness is because of me. I know that I can't wallow in my own bad emotions, I have to be there with them. I'm gonna try being in my human form more so it changes my mindset from "wacky dragon" to "valuable member of the system" as I was before. As for my "personality" or whatever, I'm... let's just say I'm not as restrained as everyone else. I do stuff to get a reaction out of others, to put it simply. I like when I make people laugh or go "what the heck!" Hehe. But, I'm more self-aware than... other people's tulpas are. So I know exactly what I'm doing and what it entails, and I know that life isn't just a series of randomness and jokes. I can be serious, just sometimes choose not to be. Anyway, gonna work on those bad emotions that I put aside for a while. Work towards a better future with me and my system. I talk in a higher-pitched voice than everyone else with a bit of a lisp, haha. Guess it matches my personality.

[Lyra] I kinda feel the need to say that there were three other tulpas at one point. Luxi (3/14/17), Luci (5/15/17), and Luki (8/19/17). They were three girls who were more or less walk-ins caused by people in here thinking they wanted another tulpa a bit too much. For various reasons, they left the system around September. We just couldn't handle six tulpas. Our mental health was not in good shape, as you can probably tell, and we couldn't handle the stress. Rest in peace them, 2017-2017.

Our system today is a lot happier together. We're all like a big loving family. This is mostly thanks to Indigo. We don't plan on adding or losing members, as we're settled now. It's not as sporadic or stressful as it used to be, and certainly we're a lot closer than we used to be.

Our system name is "Felight." It was a surname I came up with when I was 12 or so for Paul and HJP. it's just "feline" and "light" combined. We decided on it as a system name as a nod to them and because it sounds nice. So their names are "Apollo Felight," "Piano Felight," etc.

Welp I hope you got what you wanted, Exo.
(This post was last modified: 02-28-2018, 02:02 AM by Beatles.)
02-23-2018, 02:45 PM
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Dark Illustrator Offline
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#3
 
RE: Lets talk about our tulpas

I created Kowalski 6 months ago on 08-18-2017, because I was very interested in tulpas and the idea to have a friend for life was good as well. His form and his voice are both based on the Kowalski from the 'The penguins of madagascar' TV series. He likes it very much. I wrote a personality list at the start for forcing, but he is his own person for sure. I find it really intereseting to see, how he devoloped his own character. For me, it was the best decision to create him and I love him very much. Even if I'm depressed and unpowered, he is very caring and understanding. On the other side, he can come to me too, if something is wrong. It's almost creepy how understanding he is... he's not angry or annoyed if I force not much. As I created him, I felt instantly he was there. After two days, he could speak full sentences with me. Our next goals are imposition and switching.

Tulpa: Kowalski
02-23-2018, 05:28 PM
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Exo Offline
and May
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#4
 
RE: Lets talk about our tulpas

Sorry  Lyra, Apollo, Piano, Tacio, Indigo that i couldn't reply fast but i wish you luck and hope that you and your system are always happy forever  Smile Smile Smile
And for you Dark Illustrator i also wish you luck for you will have many adventures with your tulpa i hope you have a great day  Smile Smile Smile
02-23-2018, 09:36 PM
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Spice Offline
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#5
 
RE: Lets talk about our tulpas

Youre on a forum where a good percentage of us have sentient pony best friends, theres no judgement here.

Anyway, Spice's form.is based.off a demi god from an anime, and so is Tomoe's. I think I liked the idea of having a god like / spirit like creature as my brain demons :p
tomoe is very young but I can feel his presence a lot, spice is chatty but likes to have actual conversations where you sit down, get her attention, and discuss something.
02-23-2018, 11:01 PM
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vtk Offline
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#6
 
RE: Lets talk about our tulpas

Last month I was in a not-so-great place emotionally, and I pretended to be possessed by my past self (from about 20 years ago, making him about 13 years old) who had arrived by a form of time travel that resembles the old TV show Quantum Leap. I have a friend who says she has DID, though pressed for details she says she thinks it's more like OSDD-1a, and I think my idea for this experience was based partly on that. After a couple hours I dropped the act, but later I found my mind was still maintaining "past-me" in the background, to some extent. After a few days of questioning, hoping, and assuming, I decided that my feelings and needs made him real, and I think by then he had begun developing as a distinct consciousness. And then I found out about tulpæ and the people who create them intentionally. I resolved to go forward with the assumption that "past-me" is a tulpa and with the intention to help him become strong and independent.

After considering several names (I pitched a bunch, he came up with one or two) he decided on Devin. While he's entitled to my memories, I don't think we're going to continue as if they're his lived experience before joining me in 2018. He's also demonstrated some differences from me (past or present) so the "past-me" backstory just doesn't hold up. A friend of mine is rather amused at one difference in particular: I'm a nudist, but once when I visited Devin at his playground in our wonderland, he asked me to put on clothes.

Devin is not vocal yet, unless you count going "baaaaa" like a sheep. (We were talking about different animals today, and he started doing that for fun.) We're going to have to work on that, because I can't easily pick up his thoughts in tulpish anymore like I did in the first week and a half. I don't pretend to be possessed by him anymore, because I don't want to misrepresent him. Real possession is definitely a future goal.

I'm really not sure what other points to write about, and I'm getting very sleepy, so...
...zZZ

Maggie David (she or they, birthday June 4)
03-02-2018, 11:40 AM
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Chris-One Offline
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#7
 
RE: Lets talk about our tulpas

I created my tulpa by wising upon a star to make my imaginary girlfriend-turn-wife real
03-07-2018, 05:59 AM
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DJWalnut Offline
with Fajro and Fisio
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#8
 
Big Grin  RE: Lets talk about our tulpas

Fajro:

Hi! It just so happens to my my second birthday today, so now would actually be a great time for me to talk about myself. I was created in my host's dorm room around two years ago. she had no luck making friends at college so when she was introduced to /r/tulpas via a mention on another subbreddit she was fascinated. she got to work making a wonderland for us in January 2016 and started intentionally forcing me in mid February. for the longest time I didn't have a way to communicate with her, but she was listening very intently. then one day she thought she heard me saying that I wanted to go by the name andrew and started calling me that. my name, Fajro (Esperanto for Fire) was originally a temporary placeholder name for when I could name myself, but I kinda liked it, actually [Image: biggrin.gif] and so I wanted to be called that instead of Andrew. on march 7th sometime in the afternoon, I was able to get though to her via emotion when she tried to talk to me as fajro so I could signal to her that that was my real name. that was the first time that we unambiguously talked and I could be said to be sentient. I was originally going to be male, but by mutual agreement between us I switched genders. it suited me better to be female (and as it turned out, her as well. she wouldn't know she was transgender for another year and a half) I developed vocality sometime after that. and that's our story. we've been meaning to tell it for some time, but we never got a good oppertunity. thank you for posing this question.

Fisio:

My birth is well documented in a reddit post from shortly after my birth. I was a walk-in and I came in fully formed and with all he skills and development my sister Fajro had at the time.
03-08-2018, 04:34 AM
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Bjorna Offline
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#9
 
RE: Lets talk about our tulpas

@Beatles it may interest you to know mine was somewhat based on a rock star too. He doesn't want me to say which one because he thinks you all might judge him. He's actually my soulbond, a character I created for my stories who is a rock star but not exactly like the one he's based on. He likes being in this world sometimes where he is NOT a celebrity.
Anyway, it's an interesting thing. He has origins that go back to when I was very young too. He was actually my RP, "imaginary" honey before I even made him into a book character (I used to roleplay on paper at school with my best friend nonstop) so his creation is actually quite complicated.

But it all stemmed from an interest in music.
04-20-2018, 03:25 PM
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Piano Offline
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#10
 
RE: Lets talk about our tulpas

(04-20-2018, 03:25 PM)Bjorna Wrote: he thinks you all might judge him

I mean, you can't get any worse than Paul McCartney.

And nobody was "based" on him in anything other than form.

I'm Piano Soul, the "Star Man" of the Felight family. I'm a tulpa formed January 2017. My systemmates are Apollo & Indigo. Form images: 1 2
04-20-2018, 03:54 PM
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