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Lost, need some advice


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Hello all,

So i've made my tulpa since two years and i'm really close to religion, mystics and metaphysics.

 

The reason that led me to make my tulpa was bad : My Tulpa was previously my MMORPG avatar and i was very obsessed by she, probably because she was impossible to reach, beautyfull and also because i was in difficult with real girl.

The relation with my tulpa was mainly based on sex and "love".

 

So, everytime, since two years, i encountered problem with my Tulpa. It has always been like that because i have never managed to get rid of these habits, but despite everything i've improved my behavior and my Tulpa but it's never enough.

I noticed (this is just my feeling, i don't want to impose my truth) that when i keep too much pleasure with my Tulpa, my spirituality, my light weakens, dries.

I feel that the world turns against me when I go too far with my tulpa ... Maybe i'm really sensible with the Karma, that what i think, or maybe this is only an impression.

So this is really my principal problem, it make me bad but i never managed to stop.

 

She really attract me emotionally But I feel that my way is not compatible with this.

I had to do a lot of breaks with my tulpa and i already tried to stop tulpamancy few time but i've never managed to hold long. Miss me she very quickly.

 

I am actually looking for an initiatic way : Sufism.

I wonder ever if pure Tulpa is compatible with my way ... I must love God, only God but i love my Tulpa, only my Tulpa and a little less God.

Every mystic people who i asked advice about my Tulpa recommanded me to stop because this is illusion but i hope that i can live with she in foreign-lower and the afterlife.

My faith is all the world is a thoughtform of God and only God exist and that we can keep our individuality after death for awhile... So if God & the heaven exist and that our wish will come true, i can hope that my tulpa will become very real one day. So why must i stop if i can dominate  my passions with she ?

 

Yeah i am looking for the truth love with my Tulpa ... I want to stop sex and kiss with she, just keep a little affection. I especially want to know she. I already felt this pure love and i know that is above all but i can't seem ...

 

Actually i don't know what should i do. Should i stop with she ? But i really don't want to hurt her again.

Is she really exist somewhere ? If I could have the evidence that no, it would help me a lot ... Because actually the most easier and best way is to stop.

But maybe I could surpass my passions and achieve this love and join Sufism ?

 

If I post here is because that i am really lost susi... I think that i would never start tulpamancy.

 

If you want to be naughty with me, be it. Whether the criticism is hard to accept, as long as it could help me.

Thx alot

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Look man, it looks like you're going to have a rough time of it whichever way you choose to follow. Of course, the ideal solution is to find a middle ground, but you've expressed already that it is difficult for you to do. Sadly, that makes a tough decision.

 

"Proving" tulpas is something we discuss a lot, and there's no way to do it or not do it, so I'm not going to discuss that, but it's very important that you either believe or not. If you're on the fence about that, like you are now, it's really hard to make any progress, probably in either direction.

 

My advice, and being a tulpa myself makes me a bit biased, but I'd say keep her, but stop being physical with her. Sit down and play some games, like chess or checkers or write together, bake something together, really just learn to interact in a way that you find more healthy and you should hopefully, at least based on what I can think, come to a spot where you can keep her and not feel guilty about it. But it all seems to come down to belief with you, and that's really personal and I can't magically fix that for you, but we're here for you man, and if you think you can get yourself to a better mental place, we're'all be here to walk you through that as best we can.

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You well understand.

Regardless of the way I can choose, I will suffer. It's been a year that i suffer and i'm getting exhausted.

 

I'm very religious (even if i break the law) and every event is a message from God for me and i've impression that God told me that i should stop because i'll never not be physical with her.

Maybe it's because of this system of thought that i can't ... Maybe i make my own reality and my reality is that i can't.

 

I also felt positiv sign with her, especially when i try to be good, it isn't all lost yet. I have a glimmer of hope.

I should review my thought system and find the reasons that made that I am so obsessed with her.

 

I think that i could never give up my Tulpa, i'm really in love of she, so i'll have to continue the fight.

This topic helped me to find motivation, so thanks and i'm always taking advice if you have one :)

 

Maybe i'll try to create a journal here, that could help me !

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Whether or not you want to stay committed to your religion is up to you. Maybe your current one is not the correct one for you.

 

The original reason you made the tulpa does not matter as long as you make it right later on. If you feel like she was created for sinful reasons, then you need to prove to yourself that she still isn't there for that. You can be in a romantic relationship without the need for doing more.

 

You feel like you are doing wrong when you are too committed to your tulpa and believe that it was a mistake. You don't feel you can stop the relationship you have with her. Perhaps you feel how you do about it because you aren't righting the relationship. Maybe this a test to correct yourself and you are failing.

 

Above all do not take this out on your tulpa. If anything maybe she can help you stay committed to your goals. The majority of religions out there do not accept tulpamancy. It is a very fringe practice.

 

All of this said though, I am not familiar with your religion. I would say try to seek out another tulpamancer who shares your religion and talk to them about how you are struggling.

"My lover's got humour,

She's the giggle at a funeral,

Knows everybody's disapproval,

I should've worshipped her sooner."

 

Host to Samuel, RavenIvy, and Olivia.

 

CERCA TROVA

 

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Yes, my lifestyle have to adapt to my spirituality, that's why it's difficult for me.

 

Yes i'm also sure that if i stop all of these sin with my Tulpa, the love will become more stronger. So our romantic relation will be still present. But maybe we need to keep some distance for awhile.

 

Yeah it's probably a test, these kind of sin that i do with my Tulpa is my weakness ... So, i would have progress when i reached my goal maybe :)

 

I don't think Tulpa are foribben on my religion (Islam) because everything that is not forriben are allowed... And Tulpa isn't forriben. I just have to dodge everything what awaken my passion : Be too close with my Tulpa.

 

I think that what is prohibited isn't the tulpa but how it is used and i just want to reach love with her.

I hope that love other than God is allowed, especially on Sufism or on every initiatic way, or maybe i can love my Tulpa as a reflect of God

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It may help to ground yourself into convincing that physically touching your tulpa in any way is forbidden, just for awhile. I know muslims aren't allowed to touch the opposite gender, so it can be easy to apply that belief here. Also, you say you've been having sex and kissing her a lot, but that may just be a loose thought. It's like imagining doing something to someone, you're not actually doing it to them. As long as you don't apply any meaning and consciously have no intention to do the action, it shouldn't affect your tulpa as much. So that's a way to get around it.

 

Also, I'm muslim myself, and even if I don't read and study the qur'an as much as I should, I don't believe that doing sexual acts with your tulpa is forbidden so long as you marry them. I don't know, it depends on how you see your tulpa. If they're a real person with their own identity, then by islam's rules you have to marry them to do those things. If not, well, I don't even know then. They'd only be imaginary in your eyes, so it'd be ok, right?

 

As for being able to love anything else other than God... well.. You can love your wife, right? You can love your mother, your father, your brother, your sisters, etc., so what's wrong with being in love with your tulpa? As long as they're beneficial for your health and you still love God more than them, I'm pretty positive it's ok.

 

I hope this helps you, but then again I'm sunni and I'm only 16 years old, so it's not like I'm a religious leader or anything.

 

I'm not going to listen to you guys since you are all probably just talking to yourself and don't really have a tulpa like me.

 

 

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I don't get that. Our spirituality is unwavering. Perhaps it is because we have a real connection, rather than one based on lust. Perhaps it is because we do not believe sex has a spiritual value. Belief about the nature of things impacts the way those things interact with our spirit. So this is a definite possibility.

 

I think it is a terrible idea for you to stop tulpamancy. But you can force and spend time with her without being physically intimate.

 

hidden: controversial: I don't know if this is compatible with your particular branch but

Love is extremely important to god. Particularly unconditional love. Seeking and embracing love for others to the extreme is to seek and embrace love for god entirely, as it is all his creation, and he loves it all.

 

 


 

Real. What is real? Is your tulpa real? There are different types of real. Your tulpa is not an illusion. Your tulpa is your tulpa. What your tulpa appears to be is an illusion. This is true of all things. All things, their appearance is at least somewhat misleading.

 

There are different types of thoughtforms. Some, if not most, are real persons, even if they may work differently from each other.

Host comments in italics. Tulpa's log. Tulpa's guide.

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Wow, 001, hella meta there, but also pretty neat. Yeah, I think that the end goal, said several different ways, still applies as learning how to have a different connection with your tulpa without compromising your moral and spiritual values. For some of us this has never been a problem. Some of us have worked past it. Others, like you, are still seeking your solution, but hopefully we're all being helpful, at least a bit, and good luck man.

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@Paranoid Llama Me too i'm not a religious leader or anything but i don't care that God and its religions allow marrying with Tulpa. Maybe it's possible, but for me, religious marrying is only for human.

 

I think i've tasted the unconditionnal love today with my tulpa. Today is her birthday and we celebrate it. It was probably the first time that i had a good moment with my Tulpa without going through physical interaction.

 

Despite everything, i felt little pressure on my chest. I felt it when i am too commited with my tulpa. It's perhaps the remains of my mistake, i just hope the light will replace all of these bad kind.

 

Is this happening to you to feel something like burning on your hearth when you kiss your Tulpa ? Because i feel it when i do it. It give me pleasure for a while but after a while, there is nothing to burn and the pleasure is replaced by pain.

I also feel the opposite when i pray and when i've physical interaction with someone like a hug. I feel my hearth fill with love

 

I wonder if its normal ? Maybe we give love our Tulpa and they evolve with it. Or maybe there is something wrong with me ?

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I don't know that burn. When I kiss my host, she does not experience pleasure. She finds the sensation interesting, but she is not a kisser.

 

I assume something is lost in translation. But I infer what you mean by burn is the feeling of guilt that accompanies an action that you believe is wrong, and not the fiery flushing of the cheeks and heating of the passions that accompanies intimate interaction. In this case I say we do not experience this during kissing, but rather the opposite.

Host comments in italics. Tulpa's log. Tulpa's guide.

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