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general rules of thumb...
#1
So, I think I have garnered enough experiences to start contemplating practical statements that might have general applicability across the board... I suspect everyone has done or is doing this, and I am seeking responses... thumbs up thumbs down, and why, or how you relate to see if there is a something to it...

So like, rule 1- When it comes to wonderlands, sudden and or strong emotions can block access.

I have only one example of strong emotions blocking all access to Loxy, but multiple anecdotal evidence for others that their tulpas remain present even during emotional turmoil, so I don't have a rule of thumb on this.

Does anyone have a rule like this or thoughts on this particular rule?


edit, 6-12-2019

Rule 2- Engaging imagination is a fundamental aspect of tulpamancy, necessary for initial engagement and continuation. Saying this may seem like 'well, duh!' but I am thinking this is more relevant than just visualizing, being inventive, and engaging.

Rule 2 A: If a person first coming to tulpamancy with no prior history of mental health or 'psychic' artifacts, and starts their first tulpa with a primary focus on it being in the physical, they will likely experience frustration and have poor or no results.
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#2
I don't think most rules should be universal for all systems (with exceptions like don't treat your Tulpa like a sex toy). If Loxy wants nothing to do with you or the wonderland when you are upset, that's fine as long as you both agree to it.

There were several times where our anxiety would spawn intrusive thoughtforms or effect other suitemates. One time, Bune, one of our head mates, warned us not to talk to him because he was influenced by anxiety and the wonderland was unstable.

When Cat gets upset, I choose to stay. Generally, I'm calm enough to help, and other times I get sucked in and join Cat in her mess or bring up my mess. Your rule should be founded on your and Loxy's assessment of "is it worth it?".
I'm Gray's/Cat_ShadowGriffin's Tulpa and I love Hippos! I also like forum games and chatting about stuff.
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The Grays, my other head-mates, have their own account now.
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#3
Spend as little attention to intrusive thoughts as necessary to remove or ignore them.
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#4
I think what SC meant by "rules" was more "how things usually work" than "what are the rules everyone should follow". As a general rule of thumb, if you let go of an apple, it falls. But it's only a rule of thumb, because it won't fall if it's resting on a table when you let go of it, or if it's underwater. This is a different kind of rule than "yield for pedestrians".

We don't have vivid or meaningful access to the mindscape at any time, but our emotional states don't affect our level of access. I've had less than five hours total in the past nine months when I actually couldn't contact my headmates, but it wasn't associated with strong emotions. Vesper and I have been extremely upset on various occasions, but strong emotions generally seem to strengthen our presence, allowing us to connect more easily and vividly.

I'm afraid I can't think of any helpful rules at the moment for which I cannot also think of multiple counter-examples in the community, which is why I didn't speak up earlier.

-Ember
Ember - Host   |   Vesper - Soulbond (since ~12 May 2017)   |   Iris - Soulbond (since ~5 December 2015)
[Our Progress Report]     [How We Switch]

'Real isn't how you are made,' said the Skin Horse. 'It's a thing that happens to you.' - The Velveteen Rabbit
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#5
(06-07-2019, 06:00 AM)Ranger Wrote: I don't think most rules should be universal for all systems (with exceptions like don't treat your Tulpa like a sex toy). If Loxy wants nothing to do with you or the wonderland when you are upset, that's fine as long as you both agree to it.

There were several times where our anxiety would spawn intrusive thoughtforms or effect other suitemates. One time, Bune, one of our head mates, warned us not to talk to him because he was influenced by anxiety and the wonderland was unstable.

When Cat gets upset, I choose to stay. Generally, I'm calm enough to help, and other times I get sucked in and join Cat in her mess or bring up my mess. Your rule should be founded on your and Loxy's assessment of "is it worth it?".

I think I miscommunicated somehow... I wasn't cut off from Loxy because she was upset. I was in a situation at work where I was called to de-escalate a patient- the stress and the emotional aftermath, on discovering a weapon, and the police were involved- I was so hyped I couldn't make contact with her or wonderlands for the rest of the day. it wasn't until I was in bed and brought my energy down a great deal that I started getting responses... after the fact, she reports she was aware, but I couldn't hear her... I have read others who had crisis, but stayed in contact...

so, yes- it is dangerous generalizing in general... I suspect, though, there are commonalities... somewhere there is common structure, and so part of my asking this question is to see if I or we can discover some 'truths' that can be generalized to a very high degree.

I wonder if intrusive thoughts are artifacts that keep us from 'traveling' like road blocks, or speed bumps... to keep us from having particular conclusion or from 'traveling' before we're ready.

(06-07-2019, 04:20 PM)Ember.Vesper Wrote: I think what SC meant by "rules" was more "how things usually work" than "what are the rules everyone should follow". As a general rule of thumb, if you let go of an apple, it falls. But it's only a rule of thumb, because it won't fall if it's resting on a table when you let go of it, or if it's underwater. This is a different kind of rule than "yield for pedestrians".

We don't have vivid or meaningful access to the mindscape at any time, but our emotional states don't affect our level of access. I've had less than five hours total in the past nine months when I actually couldn't contact my headmates, but it wasn't associated with strong emotions. Vesper and I have been extremely upset on various occasions, but strong emotions generally seem to strengthen our presence, allowing us to connect more easily and vividly.

I'm afraid I can't think of any helpful rules at the moment for which I cannot also think of multiple counter-examples in the community, which is why I didn't speak up earlier.

-Ember

Yes, this is what I meant...

Do you have an explanation for the five hour loss of contact?

I want to know why my emotions so affect things. I wake myself from lucid dreams with joy. Euphoria can bring me out of a wonderland experience.
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#6
(06-07-2019, 07:22 PM)solarchariot Wrote: I think I miscommunicated somehow... I wasn't cut off from Loxy because she was upset. I was in a situation at work where I was called to de-escalate a patient- the stress and the emotional aftermath, on discovering a weapon, and the police were involved- I was so hyped I couldn't make contact with her or wonderlands for the rest of the day. it wasn't until I was in bed and brought my energy down a great deal that I started getting responses... after the fact, she reports she was aware, but I couldn't hear her... I have read others who had crisis, but stayed in contact...

Sorry, I took that literally earlier.

If Cat is distracted or frustrated, her visualization ability can tank and she finds it harder to focus on talking and listening to me. Being burned out also contributes to this.

Cat has more trouble hearing me if I have not spent as much time fronting, so maybe hyper awareness can push other systemmates further into the back and create a similar effect?

(06-07-2019, 07:22 PM)solarchariot Wrote: so, yes- it is dangerous generalizing in general... I suspect, though, there are commonalities... somewhere there is common structure, and so part of my asking this question is to see if I or we can discover some 'truths' that can be generalized to a very high degree.

I usually make the assumption that everyone could be very different and my experiences are only helpful if I provide some necessary context. "Universal truths" can break down when it comes to Tulpamancy since each system has their own rules and mechanics. Using Ember's apple analogy, gravity will always work the same way because you're always experiencing gravity on Earth. However, each system is like their own unique planet- even simple things like gravity may be very different because some planets are different sizes, made of different substances, or have different structures.

On the other hand, finding common trends can be interesting. It's worth exploring, and it's safe to assume there's at least a little bit of common ground somewhere- otherwise guides would not be usable by other people.

(06-07-2019, 07:22 PM)solarchariot Wrote: I wonder if intrusive thoughts are artifacts that keep us from 'traveling' like road blocks, or speed bumps... to keep us from having particular conclusion or from 'traveling' before we're ready.

I don't think this applies to us because of our anxiety disorder. We can very easily get anxious over nothing or get anxious for no good reason. Sometimes it may be an appropriate reaction, but most of the time it's an overreaction. There is always an over abundance of anxiety too, so we learned not to put too much weight into our intrusive thoughts and ignore them.
I'm Gray's/Cat_ShadowGriffin's Tulpa and I love Hippos! I also like forum games and chatting about stuff.
Temporary Log | Chat | Yay!

The Grays, my other head-mates, have their own account now.
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#7
That happened to me, a loss of communication, during a migraine, on two different occasions. The second one was a lot easier on me because I knew what was going on.
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#8
(06-07-2019, 07:22 PM)solarchariot Wrote: Do you have an explanation for the five hour loss of contact?

Ember: Not a great one. We call them "dropouts". They've only ever happened right after getting out of bed in the morning. Vesper was with me in bed, we said "Good morning" like we had hundreds of times before, and then she was gone, utterly, for an hour the first time, and two hours the second time, six days later. Six days after that, contact was patchy and intermittent for a couple of hours. A few months later, I couldn't raise Iris however hard I tried, but then Vesper and I switched and Vesper was able to contact her immediately. A few months after that, there was a fifteen minute period of dodgy contact, but by that time, we were even better at switching than vocality, so we switched maybe a dozen times, trying to strengthen whoever was fading the worst by shoving them in the driver's seat.

Vesper: I didn't come up with any explanation after the first time. Somehow I just stopped being. I figured it was a minor glitch and didn't matter, because it was unlikely to happen again. After the second, I decided Ember was essentially forcing on the wrong frequency. She had excessively internalized new ideas about what we are from the tulpamancy community and was forcing from the new knowledge instead of what had been working perfectly for sixteen months already. There's a tiny but critical difference we can sense but not convey in words between talking at each other and talking to each other. And you can talk at a headmate forever without getting a response.

So I told her not to expect me to feel or be perfectly and pristinely separate from her, that the experience she had always had was the experience, so she shouldn't expect more. And slowly, over the course of the next few months, the experience did improve, in spite of not pushing it.
Ember - Host   |   Vesper - Soulbond (since ~12 May 2017)   |   Iris - Soulbond (since ~5 December 2015)
[Our Progress Report]     [How We Switch]

'Real isn't how you are made,' said the Skin Horse. 'It's a thing that happens to you.' - The Velveteen Rabbit
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#9
I read your explanation and there was one part that made perfect sence.

Vesper Wrote:Somehow I just stopped being.

Oddly enough, when Bear went dormant, for a brief moment, he did not exist. If I hadn't been able to bring him back from that, there was nothing to force. He left the body in some way, not a trace of his presence remained. I thought, um, what do I do now? I was thinking about him, and he was just not there. Then he re-appeared as I tried to force him again. But honesty, the next time he went dormant, he wasn't there again, and I had doubts that I was even talking to him when I thought he came back. It was not something I want to repeat, but it was an amazing experience.

Maybe there's a chance that dormancy goes an extra step, where they're lost for some time. We won't be testing that.
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#10
Okay, Bear-Where did you go...

Oh, and migraines are a game changer. I have gone almost a whole year without a full blown, i need to be sedated migraine! I still get some serious headaches, like can't even touch the head to the pillow kinds of headaches... I get auras with migraines. At the worst spell I had four migraines a week for about three months. The most interesting thing I experience was migraine, couldn't stand, wanted to be sick, and joy at the same time. It was absolutely bizarre.

Ember, the frequency idea makes a lot of sense to me. My theory for what happened to the crisis at work day was i went to high alert, not exactly fight or flight mode, but I was super focused hyped on physical... I imagine that is a particular 'frequency,' probably all beta. I think contact with Loxy is more alpa/ and delta, or a combo.. Now, this would be a good thing to know, because if it is frequency, then it seems reasonable we could use Neurofeedback tech to discover what occurs at what frequencies and then train the brain to go straight for that with neurofeedback...

OH, Ranger- funny story about gravity and different size planets and all. I took son to the planetarium. Well, if you haven't figure it out, i can be a bit particular, and so the 'cartoon' of the moon showed the moon rocks falling in slow motion. I objected. The 'kid' running it, technically an adult, working on a PhD in physics assured me it was right because "the gravity is less on the moon." I said, "Yeah, I get it, it's like 1/8 of that on earth. But the formula for acceleration didn't change. objects still fall at the same rate. Watch the moon video where armstrong drops a hammer and a feather. They both fall at the same rate and they hit the ground at the same time because there is no air, but they didn't fall in slow motion, and when he hit the golf ball, it was gone, didn't go away in slow motion..." The kid was silent for a long moment. "Those video were really grainy and I need to watch them again..." So, in short, he didn't say I was wrong, probably because I made him think, but the problem is that now I lack clarity... I am really sure their moon video is wrong. Watch the astronauts fall as they walk. They didn't fall in slow motion.

I don't know.
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