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[General] Should I Make a Second Tulpa if My First Seems Lonely?
River-Prince Offline
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#1
 
Should I Make a Second Tulpa if My First Seems Lonely?

Hello. My name is River and I've started the process of creating my first tulpa. The explanation before this question will probably be a little long, so please bear with me. (Also if this belongs in another category please forgive me; it didn't seem to belong anywhere else.)

About a week after I first started the process of creating Noël, my tulpa, I started to feel very lonely when I was forcing him. At first I thought this was my emotion and since it seemed like something that was unhealthy to be thinking about while forcing Noël, I stopped forcing him for a bit and tried again later, with the same result. It seems pretty clear now that Noël is probably the lonely one, which I feel bad about because I originally intended for him to be more introverted so he wouldn't have this problem when I can't spend as much time forcing with him, such as when I'm at school working on a test or paper. Both fortunately and unfortunately, his personality has changed (which seems good, because he's becoming more of his own 'being', as it were, and he's also experimenting with his appearance a bit), but his more dependent personality seems to be pretty rough on him.

I really don't want Noël to be miserable, but I don't think he's able to create a tulpa himself so he isn't so lonely. I've tried spending more time with him, and it seems to help, but he still seems pretty miserable when I try to do more passive forcing with him. Should I be making a second tulpa to help Noël out? And if so, does anyone have any tips on how to work with two tulpas at once? I was originally planning to work with a second tulpa after Noël and I were pretty close and if he was okay with it, but now it seems like he should have this companion tulpa sooner rather than later.

While forcing I've tried to suggest to Noël that I could make a second tulpa, and he seems to like the idea a lot, but I'm not sure if this is a good idea or how I would even go about it just yet (Noël and I are barely working on parroting, and he hasn't really done much on his own yet besides sit next to me).

I know this probably looks complicated; I guess basically my question is "is it okay for me to start working with a second tulpa so Noël isn't lonely, and if so, how should I be working with the two tulpas so they are both happy and doing well?"

Thanks for your time and any help or advice you can give me!

-River
03-01-2017, 07:46 PM
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tulpa001 Offline
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#2
 
RE: Should I Make a Second Tulpa if My First Seems Lonely?

Well, the usual advice, is no, that is not a good reason to create a second tulpa. But it is not the worst reason. Usually, you should wait until your first tulpa is stable before asking that question. Then you will want to consider many factors, including if your tulpa is lonely.

The usual solution for a lonely tulpa is to try the IRC and chat with other tulpas. In addition, you can consider possession, co-fronting, imposition, and switching as alternatives to leaving him in the wonderland.

Since you are planning on creating a second tulpa anyway, there is no reason to put it off until later.

If you are already getting strong emotions from him, you should be trying to avoid parroting at this point.

Host comments in italics. Tulpa's log. Tulpa's guide.
03-01-2017, 08:00 PM
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Tewi Offline
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#3
 
RE: Should I Make a Second Tulpa if My First Seems Lonely?

The usual advice is actually "If you don't have enough time to spend with one tulpa, why would you make another?"

So the answer comes down to if your tulpas will be capable of keeping each other company when you can't. That differs by system. Also depends on if you actually want a second tulpa or not, you can't just create a person to be a person. There's gotta be some inspiration, you know?

Hi, I'm Tewi, one of Luminesce's tulpas. I often switch to take care of things for the others.
All I want is a simple, peaceful life. With my family.
Our Ask thread: https://community.tulpa.info/thread-ask-lumi-s-tulpas
03-01-2017, 08:16 PM
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River-Prince Offline
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#4
 
RE: Should I Make a Second Tulpa if My First Seems Lonely?

Thanks for the advice. I asked mainly because I try to spend a lot of time with Noël, so the fact that he is still so lonely is making me very concerned. Even at school I usually do passive forcing with him, and only try to not spend time with him when I need all my attention elsewhere (such as a test, as stated before). I actually just got out of a test that was not even an hour long, but despite not being on his own for long Noël still seemed to have a hard time being on his own. While I do like that he wants to spend lots of time with me, I can't devote all my time to him, which was why I thought another tulpa might be a good idea. I do think I can devote time to more than one tulpa, and I'd like to have more than one; I was just planning on it happening later.
03-01-2017, 09:03 PM
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tulpa001 Offline
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#5
 
RE: Should I Make a Second Tulpa if My First Seems Lonely?

The feelings of loneliness can be caused by difficulty communicating. If he can't reach out and touch anyone, a feeling of isolation and separation is generated that feels very similar to loneliness.

My host's ability to hug me, for example, is somewhat limited. Although she is far more available than any other person, it does not feel that way.

Host comments in italics. Tulpa's log. Tulpa's guide.
03-02-2017, 07:31 AM
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Paranoid Llama Offline
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#6
 
RE: Should I Make a Second Tulpa if My First Seems Lonely?

This might sound blunt, but does he do anything while you're not paying attention to him? It might help if he could get other interests and hobbies while you are away. In my experience, my tulpaware isn't usually lonely when she has a whole world to interact with while I'm away.

I don't think anyone could completely occupy their solitude with one person. My advice is to get him to find something he likes to do while you're busy.


I'm not going to listen to you guys since you are all probably just talking to yourself and don't really have a tulpa like me.

03-02-2017, 11:45 PM
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Kryffin Offline
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#7
 
RE: Should I Make a Second Tulpa if My First Seems Lonely?

I'd like to start by voicing what some already said: Noel needs things to do. That amount of dependence on you to feel happy is scary, to the point I wouldn't make another tulpa until he can learn to deal with having time apart from people. It's like he sees it as his sense of self, like his identity is completely surrounded by your attention- and that is a no-no. You have your own life with your own responsibilities, and can't baby him all the time.

However! Another tulpa isn't entirely a bad idea to make out of loneliness. It sounds like a selfish decision, but isn't it the reason most tulpamancers make tulpas to begin with? Better yet, most parents have children for an indirectly selfish reason- to carry on their family line. What matters is how they treat them, not the reasoning. In this case I feel while you would be good to them, your tulpa might depend on them too much and make it.. stressful for them. That could lead to very bad things.

In the end, I'd say stick to your plans for now on waiting, and get Noel some hobbies.

P.S.: If he's that lonely, I could talk to him, too. Or the others. I know Andrew's been wanting some new friends.. hm. Have a good day.

I just live here.
03-03-2017, 04:30 AM
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Heckhound Offline
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#8
 
RE: Should I Make a Second Tulpa if My First Seems Lonely?

Hi, River!

I actually highly advise against making a second one for now. If you don't have much time for him right now, just do your very best and give him things to do in the WL. Adding another person into the mix while he's still so young might burn you out. It takes a lot of effort to create someone while also helping them grow into their own personhood, let alone two. When he's more mature, maybe the loneliness will subside when he's able to communicate with you and others fluently.

However, if you do decide to go ahead with another tulpa, best of luck to you.

pr // discord: Heckhound#6112
03-06-2017, 08:31 PM
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