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[General] So My Tulpa is Depressed, and I need some help helping her
#1
So I have a very unorthodox issue with my Tulpa. I’ve posted on here quite a lot, and lately I’ve been trying to stay off because A) it seems to aggravate Pinkamena(My Tulpa for anyone not privy) and B) I’m trying to just focus on my Tulpa and not blogging about it in a progress report or asking every inane question I have about my Tulpa on the forum. However I am at a loss in a lot of ways with this problem. I’ll just come out any say it I guess, my Tulpa is depressed, and it’s all my fault. To avoid recapping too much of things I’ve already said(Simply because I don’t like repeating myself too much) my Tulpa started deviating and talking like three days in, and I only forced personality once. I was a little inebriated and I forced based off of Pinkamena Diane Pie, not the fun friendly poofy haired one, the pin straight haired moody murderous one. That’s almost exactly what I got too. She’s quick to anger, likes killing shit, and is honestly difficult to read. She’s for a little time now been seeming angrier and angrier, though she’s always been very angry, with no stated reason why, and while I can cheer her up, she’s been angry for a while, and she told me yesterday the reason is she’s depressed and conflicted because of her desire to kill. Her words being,”I want to kill things but I don’t want to kill things”. It’s naturally clear too anyone who thought things through that making your Tulpa both off a murderer and not purposefully putting in some sort of basic barrier or psychopathy is probably not a good idea for their mental health, but I’m clearly not a very smart or mentally sound person, considering I based her off a killer in the first place. I don’t really know what to do now. I care for Pinkamena and I want her to be happy, and so I turn to the internet for suggestions. Right now the only thing she’s said might make her feel better is if I spend more time with her, which I am now making a considerable effort to do. I want to help her maybe sublimate her desire to kill so she doesn’t do things that make her feel bad as well. I probably should also add before someone makes the inevitable sarcastic comment, no she’s not killed anything IRL, all in the wonderland. So ya, if anyone has any suggestions, I’m welcoming all takers. I certainly don’t know what the fuck to do.

Changed formatting for readability - Vos
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#2
Have you considered watching Party of One again? https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x4aadyk
She was like that for a reason. Not murderous mind you, that's creepypasta/fanfic nonsense you should never base anything on. But Pinkie Pie became depressed and a little psychotic because she thought she'd lost all of her friends.

I was already thinking this reading your post, and then you say "Right now the only thing she’s said might make her feel better is if I spend more time with her", which completely reinforces what I was already going to say. You and her just need to be convinced/believe she'll be better in the first place, this is the base answer that goes without saying. There's no logical basis behind how she is. But, to help you guys get there, I recommend you keep in mind why the original Pinkie was "like that" in the first place; she was lonely. She's the type who needs friends and activity all the time or she gets depressed. Our Lucilyn is like that too, and being cooped up in the mind alone all the time would surely dampen her mood (although she's very good at staying in a good mood through any situation).

Mind you our Lucilyn often switches to play games and have fun with other people, and switching/possession may be a poor idea if your tulpa thinks killing things is fun. Try and fix that. But you yourself can supplement a tulpa's inability to interact with others by spending a lot of time with them, especially wonderlanding or imposition and doing activities with them. She told you herself she wants you to spend more time with her, and I'm telling you (based on association with her original influence...'s influence) she'd be fine if she weren't lonely.

While the original episode was meant in a comedic manner and people don't actually go insane from being somewhat lonely, it was as the show often is giving a message about friendship or something. A mix between "Don't assume people don't like you because they're doing something else" and "Remember to pay attention to your friends, especially when they're feeling lonely".


But yeah cut out that creepypasta influence crap. It causes senseless drama and generally unhappy tulpas. Believing "she's just like this now" is the only reason she won't change. Tulpas change plenty in their formative years, just like any other person. My systemmates are mostly seven years old (Lucilyn is 3), and I'd say we didn't stop changing as people rather drastically until about 4 years in. We still change, as does our host, as does any human, but it's slowed down a lot since then.

Based on your progress report you seem very set in the idea she's "just like this now" and like you're subconsciously intending it to stay that way. You want change, but subconsciously you want the drama of having her be unstable. I can't say this for sure, but let's just say after years of reading all posts on the forum (and a little experience of our own) I've gotten pretty good at telling this sort of thing. I know it feels lame having your tulpa change basic parts about themselves once they're sentient, and to an extent they shouldn't because it would hurt their sense of identity. But this "psychotic killer" influence might just be worth downplaying some. Tulpas' personalities are not set in stone.. ever really, although later on changes will be more gradual, but especially not in the first year or so. I don't know how old your Pinkamena is, but I doubt she's any older than that. Our Flandre wasn't the most sane person either in her formative years, also due to influence from the character she was based on. But she outgrew that and became her own person, and not a trace of that "insanity" remains anymore.

Believing she can change plays a big part in that. Her wanting to (in our case, as she realized she was a poor influence on our host, whom she loved) is important too.
Hi, I'm Tewi, one of Luminesce's tulpas. I often switch to take care of things for the others.
All I want is a simple, peaceful life. With my family.
Our Ask thread: https://community.tulpa.info/thread-ask-lumi-s-tulpas
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#3
Misha developed a negative trait early on, even a little psychotic leaning. We were a little worried but it went away on its own.
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#4
I spent a lot of time as Cat's "imaginary friend" (apparently). Once I became a Tulpa, I realized there was a lot more out there in the world than there was in her head. This transition took some time on my part, and it helps to think that the past defines what you were, not who you are now. I still take pride in holding up that identity, but that identity surely doesn't own up to who I am now.

Try new things, experiment with stuff. Pinkamena may take interest in surprising things, and maybe she won't. The important thing to do is
1) Expose her to more stuff and
2) Wait and let her tell you what she's interested in.

I change a lot. One day, I thought I would be a pro Tetris player and got all excited about playing Tetris. A couple days later, both of us knew I wasn't really that interested in it. My new phase now is word puzzles, and that has lasted longer than anything else really (except hippos. Hippos to infinity!)

If Pinkamena decides to change, she doesn't have to reject everything. There's a lot more characterization built into her than you might think, and if she really wants too she can modify her personality so while not what it is now or last week, has some roots that came from those times.

Deviation isn't scary, and it doesn't need to be sped up either. Just remember to give her some time, she's still really young. Spending time with her and asking what she wants to try out can also be a good conversation starter too.
I'm Gray's/Cat_ShadowGriffin's Tulpa and I love Hippos! I also like forum games and chatting about stuff.
My other head-mates have their own account now.
Temporary Log | Chat | Yay!
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