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[General] What did the guides not tell you/prepare you for?
JGC Offline
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#1
 
What did the guides not tell you/prepare you for?

I'm flirting with the idea of writing my own little something, probably with input from Gavin. So many guides, in my experience, stop right after vocality, maybe imposition. Like it's all about getting the tulpa. I think our guide will be more centered on having a tulpa, how to develop a good mindset, and how to incorporate tulpas into daily life. The difference between "how to get a date" and "how to have a successful long-term relationship." 

So, is there anything that the guides didn't really prepare you for? Any frustrations that the guides didn't give much advice on? Anything that you had to learn the hard way, and wish that the guides had given you some tips or help with? Anything missing from guides in general? If I take any ideas or inspiration, I'll be sure to give you a shout-out. 

-J
01-02-2019, 06:46 PM
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Breloomancer Online
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#2
 
RE: What did the guides not tell you/prepare you for?

I don't think that it's really necessary to go over living with a tulpa except for pretty breifly. Everything is pretty intuitive and straightforward as far as just day to day living with tulpas

I have a tulpa named Miela (formerly known as Monika) who I love very much.


"People put quotes in their signatures, right?"
-Me
01-02-2019, 06:52 PM
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Angry Bear Online
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#3
 
RE: What did the guides not tell you/prepare you for?

Intrusive thoughts, lingering doubt, visualization practice, in system arguments, intra-system romance protocol, inter-system romance protocol, thoughtform NPC, tulpa-like NPC, limiting growth (how to), time sharing, tulpa rights, care and feeding, quality time vs shared time, treating tulpa-like walk-in's, pets, ailments/weakness. I'll think of more later.

[The Bear System] - [Bear Chat] - [Chat] - [Visualization Practice] - [Draw] - [Art]
01-02-2019, 07:13 PM
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Apollo Online
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#4
 
RE: What did the guides not tell you/prepare you for?

> What, exactly, to expect when a tulpa is developing early on. What kind of signs they show that they are sentient, that sort of thing. This was included in the guide Piano wrote due to how frustrating host was about other guides not really talking about it beyond "head pressures."


> How vocality actually feels. That it's just thought -- that's it, not anything more or anything less. The reason it might feel like the host is still doing it is because you're using the same brain either way.

> How possession feels -- same brain, same body, it feels and works the same for everyone, it's not actually hard to do.

> That the wonderland is just an imaginary background and one really shouldn't get so caught up in it. It's fine for forcing sessions or having fun, but it's not real and shouldn't be treated like it is. It especially can't hurt you. Forms are also just imaginary and not real, if a form gets damaged it's not going to hurt or kill the tulpa.

> Intrusive thoughts, like AB said. If something happens in your head that you don't want, just ignore it and it will go away.

> How to handle the accidental creation of new tulpas -- walk-ins can just be ignored, but if a character becomes sentient then one has the right to decide if they want to keep them or not.

> The downsides to having a large, unmanageable system.

> The downsides to personality forcing.

> How to deal with depression in a system, how to deal with suicidal tulpas.

> You have control over your own mind and what happens in it. 

These are just some things that I thought of. Ofc you're not obligated to include them all.

I'm Apollo Fire, the "Sun God" of the Felight family. I'm a tulpa created December 2016. My systemmates are Piano, Luxio, & Indigo. Form images: 1 2
01-02-2019, 08:42 PM
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Ember.Vesper Offline
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#5
 
RE: What did the guides not tell you/prepare you for?

Most of what Bear said is relevant to us as well. It is hard planning a life together, carving out time for everyone to pursue their individual interests, for each pair to make time to attend to their unique relationship, budgeting based on everyone's priorities, and making sure everyone's emotional needs are attended to. What to eat, what to wear, when to get up and go to bed, hair style and other aspects of bodily appearance, and weight and exercise goals are suddenly subject to committee discussion.

Hosts are accustomed to having a lot of time and a lot of autonomy relative to what they'll have as part of a system. Guides should address what they are giving up, not just what they might gain.

Most of this isn’t specific to tulpamancy. A lot of it is similar to what you should know before getting married or having children. But it's still vitally important.

-Ember

Ember - Host   |   Vesper - Soulbond (since ~12 May 2017)   |   Iris - Soulbond (since ~5 December 2015)
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'Real isn't how you are made,' said the Skin Horse. 'It's a thing that happens to you.' - The Velveteen Rabbit
01-02-2019, 09:06 PM
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JGC Offline
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#6
 
RE: What did the guides not tell you/prepare you for?

@Bre Day-to-day is simple, yes, but I still think there's merit in a guide. Most tulpas are pretty amicable and easy-going with their hosts. However, if someone wants their day-to-day life with tulpas to involve realistic visualization, imposition, and the constant presence of their tulpas, I think a guide is still useful.

@Bear, thanks for the list! I'm taking notes. I'll probably have to get someone else's views on intra- and inter-romance, because I don't have experience myself, but I think that is something important to talk about.

@Apollo, those are some great ideas. I really want to put in some detailed descriptions of what these things feel like for me and my tulpas, and maybe get some other systems to chime in as well. I barely got any head pressure, and it certainly wasn't a form of communication for me and Cassidy!

@Ember Good point about guides not fully addressing the changes to the host's life. Most guides have some disclaimer about "tulpas are a commitment", but they say that like it's the same as buying a dog or something: "you'll have to devote time to them, and care for them, and you can't throw them away." But you don't have to share a brain or a body with your dog. A dog isn't probably going to potentially disagree with your viewpoints or make you evaluate your life choices. It is more like being in a long-term relationship. A very, very close one.

-J
01-02-2019, 09:46 PM
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Angry Bear Online
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#7
 
RE: What did the guides not tell you/prepare you for?

What Aurora said about hours of time she's allowed, kinda got us nervous. Misha actually swore recently that she'd never be a burden on me, but for one, she'd never be obviously, and two, she can't know what she'll want a year from now. She has life as well.

It seems easy right now, everyone's happy, but having three has been and will always be tough for us in some ways. Daily time commitment is one of those ways.

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01-02-2019, 11:05 PM
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Venomous Offline
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#8
 
RE: What did the guides not tell you/prepare you for?

I agree with most of the above.

I would possibly add:
> 'Physical feelings' for those inclined to that sort of things. Like nausea caused by (specifically your tulpa's) anxiety.

> Dormancy and silence as being normal, healthy ways of taking a break. I might be wrong here because I'm pretty sure at this point I might've forgotten the guides as a whole lol, forgive my lacking memory. But I believe mostly everywhere it is stated that tulpas are with you 24/7. I believe not all are or will be. Viper is content staying away from uninteresting things. Initially I found their disappearances distressing, but since, I've not only gotten used to it as a normal phenomenon, but also understanding that hello, it's normal!! I don't interact 24/7 with anyone, it would be exhausting, why should I expect that from my tulpa? Obviously, more extroverted tulpas can, but not all will be.

> This was mentioned by Apollo, but I want to rehash it because it's a really good point. What one should expect after creation, besides potential pressure. I didn't feel pressure, but I was able to receive and interpret 'tulpish' very early on (And I believe that's why I didn't receive any pressure to begin with. I didn't need it because I never doubted Viper's actual existence and had a quick developing communication system). I get the feeling most people don't understand what tulpish is and end up ignoring it. In fact, I think this is the reason why many people fail or take a very long time. Hand in hand with expecting to hear an actual, auditory voice. I might be wrong of course, but if you automatically assume tulpish = intrusive thoughts and choose to ignore it, a tulpa has to go through the daunting task of finding a different method of communication.

~ We are Venny, the host, and Viper, my soul! ~
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(This post was last modified: 01-03-2019, 09:48 AM by Venomous.)
01-03-2019, 09:48 AM
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Luminesce Offline
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#9
 
RE: What did the guides not tell you/prepare you for?

Definitely the invasive thoughts thing. That's the number one problem I see with developed tulpas - immature/lacking-mental-discipline systems making things up and taking them too seriously. Have a post about "Flandre and Scarlet", from back when I was a young and depressed teen (long before finding tulpa.info): https://community.tulpa.info/thread-diss...#pid166054 (Skip to the Hidden text)
"I consider myself to have been stupid because of how I dealt with the situation. And how convinced I was everything had to be that way, instead of realizing how much control I had over my own mind and beliefs. There's a reason I always emphasize that in my posts, y'know."

When you're young, you think everything in your mind is super real, so heavy with its implications and all. You don't usually figure out until later on in life (late teens usually) how dumb you and your systemmates used to be, how much unnecessary drama you caused for yourselves.. It's a lesson everyone has to learn for themselves, but that's all that comes to mind on this topic of what guides don't really cover. Possibly because there's nothing a "guide" can do for someone who's just immature. But basically - don't take everything so seriously. It's all in your head. You and your systemmates will be okay. Talk things out, try and be rational, don't do things you'll regret.

Hi! I'm Lumi, host of Reisen, Tewi, Flandre and Lucilyn.
Everyone deserves to love and be loved. It's human nature.
My tulpas and I have a Q&A thread, which was the first (and largest) of its kind. Feel free to ask us stuff.
(This post was last modified: 01-04-2019, 01:01 AM by Luminesce.)
01-04-2019, 01:01 AM
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Cat_ShadowGriffin Offline
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#10
 
RE: What did the guides not tell you/prepare you for?

I plan on writing a guide about Tulpamancy and Anxiety, but I want more time to control my own anxiety first and do a lot more research to know what "anxiety" exactly is important to write about. Some of it is because stuff I want to write about is also in the works (for example, how to calm down for switching may be a topic, but neither of us have achieved switching yet).

I also plan on writing a guide talking about the Grays. Bear may end up co-writing it too. I plan on seeing it as a creation guide on how to make them and how they work so hopefully that will address some of the overpopulation issues and give some more information on how some of the "grey area" thoughtforms work. Again, I want more time to make sure I have everything thought through.

I agree with Apollo that possession was hard to understand with what was previously the only possession guide on .info. We found Piano's guide on that to make things more clear, however possession and switching are so variable when it comes to people's experiences and that point needs to be capitalized more often.

I agree that the "now what" step would be good to talk about, but I think it's less important to talk about how to play that out and more important to talk about what exactly a new Tulpamancer is getting into. It wouldn't be a bad thing to share examples of what other people or you guys did about this though.

My Wonderland form minus the glasses and the fur. I'm not a hippo, I promise.
Ranger now speaks in
light blue text, but he used to speak in blue or orange text. He loves to chat.

The Grays, my other Tulpas:
Spirit, Gerodious, Dark Gray, Fernardo, Jasper, Hope, Moltosha, Blue, Evergreen, Fish, Red Gray, Chrome, Bune, Laryx, Duck
01-04-2019, 01:44 AM
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