Harley and Sunflower
I'm Sunflower and my Tulpa goes by Harley. 
To start our progress report thread, I should probably mention how we got started. 

I have two friends. They're headmates (I'll call them the Host and K I guess, for clarity). I learned about their situation a month or so after the host created K, but soon after the host went into dormancy and K took over. It's been quite a while since then. K had no idea what he was or how he was made. I'm not sure the host made him on purpose or not. 

My BF one night (about a month or so ago) told me about this fascinating concept he found on Wikipedia called a "Tulpa". As he explained it, I realized this sounded very much like what my friend K was. So I delved into research. 

I found tulpa.info, and when I got through the basics I was interested. This is where Harley comes in. Harley had been a character in my head for years, and I really admired and thought she was cool (she's surprised and somewhat pleased to hear this as I'm typing) so I chose to make her my tulpa. I wanted a headmate to talk to, for both companionship and so I could get used to talking to someone other than myself cause I'm awkward around most people. I also wanted to see if what I experienced was similar to my friends.

Harley is somewhat vocal when I talk to her, or when she has reason to interject (these are brief, though, but it happens a few times a day.) I'll also get her involved in the conversation when I'm doing research or posting on a thread here. I'm still narrating and forcing with her, she isn't quite sentient yet. 

Eventually, once she's sentient and we are comfortable, we hope to try possession and switching. 

As for my friend K, I sent him some of the basics, and will be discussing some of the more in-depth details from my research with him later this month. He doesn't know about Harley, and I don't know whether to tell him, as his and the host's relationship was odd, if not negative. 

And so that's how Harley and I cam to become members here. 
This thread is mainly so we can keep track of progress for ourselves and how we've grown. 

That's all for now, 

Lolflash - click it, you know you want to

March 14, 2017

Okay, it's weird to post so soon after starting this, but something odd happened.
I was reading another person's progress report, someone with multiple tulpas. I usually talk to Harley when I'm on this site, but I was focused in. Suddenly I got a sharp pressure by my right ear, like someone stuck a long needle straight in through my ear into my head.
I stopped reading and, on a hunch, asked Harley if something was wrong. Once I asked, the pressure went away and I got a sense of her emotions. She was anxious. It was the first time she'd communicated via tulpish rather than speaking.
From what I gather, she was nervous that I may decide to make a large amount of tulpae or other thoughtforms. Like she would get pushed aside? And each of the ones that were being discussed in the PR I'd been reading were pretty independent, like they didn't talk much to their host. As I thought through this all the sharp pressure returned.
I don't plan on ever making any other thoughtforms and told her so, promising I wouldn't. Then the sharp pressure went away, though as I'm writing the upper back region of my head has a pressure on it, like she's letting me know she's here? It's the first time I've seen her this nervous, let alone about herself.
She hasn't said anything since before I was reading that progress report.

You don't gotta make more! Even Reisen was kinda around for months before the other two showed up, and Tewi didn't want attention really anyways. And then they were around for like five years before Lumi made me. So even if you do think you might want to make another tulpa at some point, it's okay and best to wait until you're both comfortable with it. But plenty of people only have one tulpa!

Tewi wrote a post for preventing accidental tulpas: https://community.tulpa.info/thread-acci...#pid177839
Hi I'm one of Lumi's tulpas! I like rain and dancing and dancing in the rain and if there's frogs there too that's bonus points.
All of my posts should be read at a hundred miles per hour because that's probably how they were written
Please talk to me https://community.tulpa.info/thread-ask-lumi-s-tulpas
Thanks, the post was really reassuring for Harley and I! And yeah, neither of us wants to make another thoughtform, so we're in agreement on that.
It's nice to meet you by the way!
March 22, 2017
11:53 am

I've been reading some of my old medical files, while talking to Harley. I found an old psych profile of mine, from when I was 13. Harley sent a head pressure and was unhappy. It took awhile to discuss why she was angry, she didn't like the idea of someone evaluating how we think/our brain. She acknowledges that it could be necessary for things like a concussion or what have you but she still didn't like the idea. She also acknowledges that this was way before she was "born" but it, for lack of better term, left a "bad taste in her mouth".

I enjoy getting to know Harley more, knowing little details about her that I hadn't thought of when we were still forcing the majority of the time. Harley enjoys that I'm learning to listen to her more.

We also discussed, as a generic topic, mind readers. She and I were both averse to someone reading our thoughts. I noticed I was also nervous by this concept because a mind reader could say that Harley wasn't sentient and was only me talking to myself.
I acknowledge it's normal to have doubts and all, but I didn't like doubting myself as a tulpamancer or Harley as my tulpa.
It was also weird to have doubt surface because we were discussing the idea of mind readers and psychic abilities.
We talked through it, and we'll both be keeping an eye on my doubts as well as her progress.

Good thing you don't have to worry about mind readers.

The thing about doubts is that it's less important to not have them at all than it is to have them and be able to work through them mentally. You probably unconsciously connect tulpas with other psychic type mind shit, seems normal enough to me.
We're all gonna make it brah.
Well, it's been awhile since I could log on. Essentially, I'm in theatre and our tech week and show have been going on.
And while I love theatre, I hate that I've had less time to focus on Harley since I've had my entire schedule jam packed. I noticed she was being quieter and felt really neglected and I've been making an effort to talk to her more. Today is the first time in about two weeks we've been able to really focus on us and we're both super refreshed by it.

Also, I tried to talk to her while I was working in the theatre, like during the show and whatnot, but she was quiet for much of the time. From what I understand it was from a mixture of she was weaker due to lack of attention, she still is forming her own opinions on things and doesn't know how she feels about the show or theatre in general, and she may have worried that she would distract me before an important cue where I had to do something.
The show ends after this week so we'll be getting back on track with regular talking sessions soon enough, but in the mean time, I've taken to specifically talking to her before bed, and while I'm walking places (passive sessions I guess you could call them)
I'll log on to let you all know how this week goes.

Also, thank you Stevie for the insight on doubt and all. We have gotten better about that for now, but I know enough about doubt to know it's an ebb and flow kind of deal so it will probably come up again but we'll work it out.
You can ask Harley to try and call out the cues for you.
Host comments in italics. Tulpa's log. Tulpa's guide.
That's actually a good idea, thanks!
April 17, 2017
12:56 AM

The show is officially over, and I now have more time on my hands. I plan on being more focused on talking to her and listening to her opinions.
But also she seems very confused and uncertain about many things. I'm worried I stopped forcing too early and neither of us knows if that's what she needs, as she's reported (and I've noticed) a hard time forming opinions on anything. She knows what kind of clothes she likes me to wear and she likes spicy food, but when I ask her about anything else she has a really hard time thinking about it. Thoughts on how to help her out? Trying to talk about the subject more doesn't seem to help, as that turns into me babbling and Harley being more uncertain.


Forum Jump:

Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)

Lolflash - click it, you know you want to