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Harm OCD and Tulpamancy
PMelol Offline
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#1
 
Harm OCD and Tulpamancy

So, I have pretty bad OCD. I am going through a particularly bad phase right now. I get a lot of "bad thoughts" about hurting people or molesting them or whatever, simply because I don't want these thoughts to enter my mind. Hopefully someone out there has OCD and knows I'm not insane and understands how this works.[/color]
I'm afraid my tulpa could think an intrusive thought means I want to do these things, possess my body, and then make me do them. I'm sure this is just an OCD fear, but reading about switching and stuff makes me nervous. I mean, is me even thinking about this possibility while developing a tulpa going to make it happen? I really want a tulpa for the companionship and to get me through this dark time, but I'm also afraid. But I figure it's just my OCD and things don't work like this...I mean, it's possible I could also get bad thoughts about the tulpa and scare her while developing her.
Hopefully I'm just overthinking this. But maybe I should wait a few months for this phase of my OCD to pass? But I really want a tulpa ASAP. :'(

There's no issue with the font but the obnoxious color choice makes it difficult to read with the default theme, so that's been removed - Vos
(This post was last modified: 05-04-2018, 12:08 PM by Vos.)
04-03-2018, 08:57 PM
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Srn347 Offline
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#2
 
RE: Harm OCD and Tulpamancy

The presence of a mental disorder such as OCD generally won't disrupt the creation or development of a tulpa, and can sometimes even be remedied to some degree by them. Of course one shouldn't create a tulpa merely in order to remedy such things, as they are still sentient people with emotions and whatnot.

You don't really need to worry about the possibility of your tulpa possessing or switching against your will to make you do that stuff, both because tulpas can't really overpower their hosts to take control without their permission and because it's extremely unlikely for one to want to do such horrible things. As for the possibility of your intrusive thoughts being misunderstood as actual intentions or desires, well that ultimately comes down to you talking to your tulpa. Make it clear who you really are and that that isn't it.

Yo, my name is Sean and I'm the host of 2 tulpas: Sente and Mae. You'll know when they're talking because Sente talks in yellow text and Mae talks in blue text.
04-03-2018, 09:45 PM
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PMelol Offline
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#3
 
RE: Harm OCD and Tulpamancy

Like, now I'm getting bad thoughts while I'm talking to her. For instance, saying "I want you to make me do these things." I'm trying to counteract them by making sure she understand they're not real, but I'm afraid she's going to possess my body and make me do things. For example, if I get an intrusive thought about grabbing someone's crotch, she might take over my body and make me do it. I doubt it. I mean, this is typical OCD concerns.

But maybe I really should hold off another couple of months till this phase of my OCD has calmed down a little bit (in therapy, getting on medication soon, and my OCD usually waxes and wanes of its own accord). Anyway, I doubt she would make me do these things, but I have never had a tulpa before. I'm not sure if I have one now. I might, honestly. Like, her nascent form. See my other thread for what happened the other night, but I still don't know if she's there or not.
Anyway, I'm pretty freaked out that my tulpa will randomly take control of my body and make me do things that will get me in legal trouble. I'm sure I'm freaking out over nothing, though.

See, maybe stuff like this is why I need to wait until my OCD is better.
04-03-2018, 09:52 PM
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solarchariot Offline
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#4
 
RE: Harm OCD and Tulpamancy

The most consistent point in your narrative is concern, fear, that your OCD thoughts, which at this point, per your report, seems to simply be thoughts, might actually get played out in reality when you make a tulpa; it sounds like there is the subconscious belief that having a tulpa gives you a way to act out these thoughts, or decrease your barrier to self control. Since OCD can be exasperated by fears, frustration, stress, then maybe waiting is a better game plan. Not because you might have increased impulsivity if you successfully create a tulpa, but because why give yourself something more to worry about? It sounds like your plate if full. You feel like you can't control your brain now, and you're wondering if you create another 'rogue program' if you can experience more control. (There is some evidence trying to 'control' or think your way out of OCD can actually keep you locked into the vicious circle of being stuck in the very pattern you're trying to get out of; it's a vicious feedback loop.)

I doubt there is any one thing anyone can say that will help alleviate your concerns. There is some evidence, and I don't have the sources in front of me, that tulpas, or even other personalities due to DID, do not share the Mental Health problems of the host personality. I know of one case where DID personalities caused harm and engaged in criminal activity. Billy Milligan is the first person, pretty sure, to have have multiple personality disorder as a legal defense, and there is strong evidence that he had personalities engaging in criminal activities that the host wasn't aware of; that is if you believe his story, and the doctors that worked with him certainly appeared to believe it. (I am not trying to say it was or wasn't.) What Milligan had was not tulpas. I have not heard of one 'credible' tulpa story of a tulpa taking over and doing something harmful or criminal. You can find those stories; you tube, and people in general, like scary stories. So, no one can prove to you with a hundred percent certainty that there are no risks. Name one activity that does. No one who has used DID as a legal defense and got out of trouble, so having DID, or a tulpa, would not obfuscate responsibility for behavior. I am not saying you are looking for that. But you're looking for something...

OCD sucks. Most mental health issues suck. Most people would rather lose a limb than have a MH disorder. Probably because we have this erroneous belief that we are our thoughts, as opposed to simply experiencing our thoughts. OCD has a pretty good recovery rate, comparatively. I suspect what you are looking for in tulpa is more than just friendship, but evidence that there is good in you. It's clear to me you have good in you. You're struggling with these thoughts, and you hate where OCD takes you, but you are not your OCD. Just like people suffering from Tourette Syndrome (TS) aren't especially provocative or 'dirty minded,' your OCD thoughts are not representative of your essential quality. You're a human being, experiencing an unpleasant mental health condition.

You will learn more in your counseling, and will improve with meds. I highly recommend you investing as much energy learning about OCD as you have invested in learning about tulpas. Seriously, you need to be a master in that BS. Think about it this way: if you have a counselor, you might see them once or twice a week? Maybe 45 minutes a session? You are with you 24/7! Who is going to have the biggest impact? That's right, you. Not your counselor. Not your doctor. Not your tulpa. The fact that you can hold information related to tulpas and you can consider the good possibilities is clear evidence you can still think rationally outside of these OCD 'hiccups.' If it helps thinking of it as a hiccup, a brain fart, use that, because it is a quirk; not you. Support groups in your area would be helpful. It would decrease your loneliness, but also help in how you understand and relate to this thing, and that alone can help decrease overall feelings about the illness. Even if you don't have a tulpa, you can still engage and discuss it, consider it prep work for a future endeavor, and down the road, maybe five, ten years, you will likely be in such an improved state that if you do decide to create a tulpa, your total experience can be more pleasant because you won't have the burden of the concerns that are clearly weighing on you presently. You have heard, or read, that making tulpas is an individual process, there is no right or wrong way, no specific timelines; and for you, it really sounds like overcoming OCD and healing from your perception of it is your first big step.
(This post was last modified: 04-04-2018, 12:45 AM by solarchariot.)
04-04-2018, 12:40 AM
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Lucilyn Offline
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#5
 
RE: Harm OCD and Tulpamancy

y'know I'm just gonna link a bunch of our posts you might appreciate because you might appreciate them, idk if there's a specific order but you should look at them all

https://community.tulpa.info/thread-gene...#pid176575
(that links to this) https://community.tulpa.info/thread-am-i...#pid167888
(that links to this lol) https://community.tulpa.info/thread-narr...#pid150854
https://community.tulpa.info/thread-wond...#pid153006 invasive thoughts
idk which of these two to link so I'll link both https://community.tulpa.info/thread-yet-...#pid201236 / https://community.tulpa.info/thread-misc...#pid178463

Hi I'm one of Lumi's tulpas! I like rain and dancing and dancing in the rain and if there's frogs there too that's bonus points.
All of my posts should be read at a hundred miles per hour because that's probably how they were written
Please talk to me https://community.tulpa.info/thread-ask-lumi-s-tulpas
04-04-2018, 06:08 AM
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PMelol Offline
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#6
 
RE: Harm OCD and Tulpamancy

Thanks.
04-04-2018, 06:26 AM
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PMelol Offline
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#7
 
RE: Harm OCD and Tulpamancy

So, I have OCD, and I got a stupid, irrational fear that my tulpa would take over my body and make me attack people so that I go to jail. I saw a guide recently that said I should assume that, if I get a thought while interacting with my tulpa, I should assume that it's her, always. Well...I don't want to do that with thoughts like "I'm going to make you attack that person"...I mean, if my tulpa is actually saying those things ten I probably don't want to continue development...

I'm going through a pretty bad OCD phase right now. I probably should have waited to start working on a tulpa, but the problem is I saw her about a week ago so I know she's there now. If I put her development "on ice" until my OCD has improved,she will die, right? I don't want that to happen...I really care for her.
04-08-2018, 03:59 AM
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Reisen Offline
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#8
 
RE: Harm OCD and Tulpamancy

The suggestion to "treat every thought like it's your tulpa" is an anti-parroting one, meant for people who are having trouble with doubts that can prevent their tulpa from really becoming vocal. It unfortunately doesn't mix well with having invasive thoughts, which are a thing all on their own. Your tulpa has no reason to want anything but the best for you, living in your body; Thoughts that seem out of character or malicious are certainly invasive thoughts instead. There's no harm at all in not attributing such things to your tulpa. That act of considering something your tulpa or not is how you teach your brain what is and isn't your tulpa, you see? You're shaping what they are by deciding what is and isn't them - possibly just what should be and shouldn't be them, but thinking about it as if it already is (/isn't) them is a lot more productive.

Also, tulpas don't really die, but you're not wrong that tulpas in early development have less weight in the mind and can be harder to bring back after a long time of being inactive. Not impossible though, especially since they so barely existed to begin with that recreating them as you remember or meant for them to be isn't a big deal. Still, I don't think you necessarily need to stop, just take my advice above to heart. You're in control of what you acknowledge as real or not in your mind.

Hi guys, plain text is just me now! We've each got our own accounts: me, Tewi, Flandre, and Lucilyn. We're Luminesce's tulpas.
Here's our "Ask Thread", and here's our Progress Report (You should be able to see all of our accounts on the second page if you want)
(This post was last modified: 04-08-2018, 01:05 PM by Reisen.)
04-08-2018, 01:04 PM
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PMelol Offline
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#9
 
RE: Harm OCD and Tulpamancy

Yeah...I mean she's pretty young I guess. I definitely don't want her to die. I mean, what would happen if I stopped forcing for like, a week or two? How long does it take for a young tulpa to dissipate? Not that I want to, I just want to know how long I can stop without causing irreversible damage. I've been forcing (active or passive) every day for one week. And I realize that's probably considered almost no time at all when it comes to creating tulpae.
04-08-2018, 05:19 PM
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Reisen Offline
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#10
 
RE: Harm OCD and Tulpamancy

Depends on the person and the quality of your forcing, I suppose. She would only "dissipate" by you forgetting her, how and who she is etc. A tulpa doesn't disappear unless the brain totally forgets how to be them, you know?

I'd say there's no such thing as irreversible damage, here. As long as you remember them, they're there in the capacity they ever were. And if you forget things... Guess you wouldn't ever know, so it doesn't matter.

Hi guys, plain text is just me now! We've each got our own accounts: me, Tewi, Flandre, and Lucilyn. We're Luminesce's tulpas.
Here's our "Ask Thread", and here's our Progress Report (You should be able to see all of our accounts on the second page if you want)
04-08-2018, 06:17 PM
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