Have I accidentally made a tulpa?
#1
Hello, I'm brand new to the tulpa community and just started tulpaforcing a few days ago. However, now that I have read the definition of a tulpa and know what it is, I'm starting to have second thoughts about this affectionate boy that visits me in my dreams.

It all started two years ago. I had made a best friend, who was a boy. He had a horrible personality though. But he was my only hope for a friend, so I had to deal with it. Over time, since he was the only one I had, I fell immeasurably in love with him. I would cuddle my blanket, pretending it's him. I would obsessively fantasize about him. I would fantasize about us hugging, cuddling, kissing, holding hands, looking up at the clouds together, having romantic conversations, etc. It was comforting because he's nothing like that in real life, and I loved to have that sense of love coming from him. Fantasizing about him became an everyday habit that would last for hours. Everyday when I came home from school, the very first thing I did was lay down, cling to my blanket, close my eyes and go on an imaginary adventure with him, doing everything a boyfriend and girlfriend would. Sometimes I would even fall asleep while doing that. Which leads me into my favorite part about it: my dreams. It would be the same thing as me fantasizing about him, except he was controlling himself. I would always be shocked and flattered when he would wrap an arm around me. I felt a warm sense of belonging when he would hug me, and those dreams felt so realistic. He had the exact same loving, sweet personality in every single dream I had about him. Every single night, in some way or another, he would be in my dreams.

Which is why I ask this question. Have I unintentionally created a tulpa? Or am I just simply dreaming about my crush (with a different personality)?
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#2
I have a few comments, but I'll start with the actual question at hand - whether or not this is a tulpa. From what you've said, you seem to have spent a decent amount of time thinking about, visualizing, talking to this thing, and you may very well be able to easily make it into a tulpa if you wished. However, dreams are based off of recent events and random information your brain slaps together to entertain itself while you're asleep (not technically true, but you get my point). It's not surprising you don't have to puppet him or anything like it in a dream - your subconscious has taken control, leaving you as a casual observer to experience this dream state from a more conscious position and state of mind. Many people (myself included) while making their tulpae have found that in dreams, talking, playing, seeing, feeling, and hearing all become a bit easier than in the waking life because of this.

Now for some other comments that I think should be shared. What you are doing probably is not the most healthy thing you could be doing right now, and I honestly suggest that you not make a tulpa based on a fantasy relationship between you and another real person whom you actually know. If you were to make a tulpa from what you have already, I strongly suggest that you try to disconnect your relationship with this real person and the relationship you have with your potential tulpa. Otherwise, you are going to run into a whole slew of problems, mentally and emotionally. You need to understand that the real guy is and should not be directly related to this tulpa in any major way, but it seems the only difference is that your fantasy of him is a lot nicer, and really likes you.

Don't make tulpae out of wishing for a relationship with another real person, that's my advice. In the case you do end up doing this whole big tulpamancy thing after all, be very wary of making further connections between this guy and the tulpa. I suggest taking the personality you've created and try to give it a different form- one that is not based directly off of a physical friend of yours.

You are probably just, like you said, dreaming over an obsessive crush, which, from what I've heard, you should probably just let go of at this point and move on, especially if you are thinking of making a tulpa. Maybe wait a little while, try to get rid of the "crush" feelings and then making a tulpa with this personality you've already formed shouldn't be very hard.

Anyway, I hope I helped answer some of your questions. Whatever you end up doing, taking my advice or otherwise, good luck to you and (potentially) your tupper!
Even though my username is that of my tulpa, Quilten, my name is Phaneron, the host, who does all of the actual posting.
Tulpas: Quilten, Jira
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#3
Thank you Smile That really helps. Yeah, I would never make a tulpa based off of him. I'm currently working on a tulpa that has almost the same personality as my fantasy of him. Maybe focusing on my tulpa will get my mind off of my crush.
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#4
Glad I could help! Yeah, that should definitely give you something to do as well as someone else to talk to. I hope you both fare well!
Even though my username is that of my tulpa, Quilten, my name is Phaneron, the host, who does all of the actual posting.
Tulpas: Quilten, Jira
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