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How could I get more into forcing?
Notebook-aCat Offline
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#1
 
Sad  How could I get more into forcing?

Whenever I tulpaforce, it's awkward, and after 45 minutes my head starts to hurt for the rest of the day. Most of the time I am also tired, and my boyfriend/roommate is off making noise in the room and interrupting me by just doing his own thing. It doesn't help that I'm a shy person who feels unsure of and doesn't know how to get to know people well to the point of putting it off and avoiding them regardless of what I actually want...

I see my tulpa right now as a friend, but it's very hard to hang out with her (tulpaforce) when she can't/won't talk to me much, and after 45 minutes of just looking at each other, listening to the radio (music through headphones) and dancing gets tiring, my head hurts and I have to stop. It doesn't help that I also have to focus on the house she lives in, or even a plainer marble temple looking place, otherwise the black/white backdrop, or blue sparkly character creation screen will distract me.

It also doesn't help that she sends me, in tulpish, pictures of us kissing, and took advantage of one of my more delirious unthoughtful states while forcing her and she forcefully kissed me while I wasn't comfortable with it (which is why I will refuse to use binaural beats while forcing now)

Any suggestions..? I'm already working on a regular sleep schedule, also :s
(This post was last modified: 03-13-2017, 08:31 PM by Notebook-aCat. Edit Reason: decided omitted information was important to the topic )
03-13-2017, 08:13 PM
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tulpa001 Offline
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#2
 
RE: How could I get more into forcing?

I'm not sure what you are doing to cause your head to hurt after forty-five minutes of forcing. Drink a glass of water beforehand.

Remember that the important part is you are spending time with a new person you are creating. All other aspects of a forcing exercise exist only to allow this time to be spent, or to strengthen their presence.

Yeah, my host doesn't like kissing much either.

Oh, you can't keep a secret from a tulpa. I'm not sure how it is possible to create distance between two people in a situation like that. Distance is caused by misunderstanding.

Host comments in italics. Tulpa's log. Tulpa's guide.
03-13-2017, 08:47 PM
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Notebook-aCat Offline
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#3
 
RE: How could I get more into forcing?

Last time I forced, I had a light on, and was lying on my bed with a pillow half over my face to block out most of the light, plus I was wearing headphones and listening to binaural beats, various chill music, and then something about third eye opening.

I know you can't keep a secret from a tulpa, and I don't know what you mean by distance other than setting boundaries, which I've done to little effect
03-13-2017, 09:00 PM
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tulpa001 Offline
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#4
 
RE: How could I get more into forcing?

Distance. That discomfort you get that prevents you from talking to another person.

Host comments in italics. Tulpa's log. Tulpa's guide.
03-13-2017, 09:33 PM
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Notebook-aCat Offline
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#5
 
RE: How could I get more into forcing?

I get really nervous and lock up, I guess, it doesn't help now that we have bad history either
03-13-2017, 09:39 PM
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Ponytail Offline
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#6
 
RE: How could I get more into forcing?

Most importantly, I'd say that in order to make forcing fun, you have to do something you both want. I dunno, eat a dragon. The wonderland is infinite, you just need to show her something you both can deeply enjoy. Read a book together or something

Edit: replace your mouth in the wonderland with that of a lamprey, will stop kisses 99% of the time

The System:

It's too big.
ha, that's what she said.
(This post was last modified: 03-14-2017, 06:12 PM by Ponytail.)
03-14-2017, 06:11 PM
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Notebook-aCat Offline
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#7
 
RE: How could I get more into forcing?

That is a good idea, thank you! I'm not very creative when I'm trying to make a person who will soon be somewhat grounded in reality (or at least seem that way to my senses)
03-15-2017, 03:26 AM
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Joss Offline
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#8
 
RE: How could I get more into forcing?

Try other methods of forcing. Pretty much everyone in my system finds the "sit in a quiet room and daydream" method of forcing exceedingly boring. So take a look at your hobbies and find ways to incorporate your tulpa into that.

Do you write? Write stories about her, and ask her how she would react in certain situations. Do you draw? Draw her in different places doing different things. Write poetry with her, or go for a walk and spend the entire walk asking her to react to the things you see, or play video games and ask her to tell you what to do, or watch a video together and then spend some time talking about it afterwards. Throw some variety into it. As long as you're spending time with her, you're forcing.

And as for the kissing thing? My first instinct is that that could very well be intrusive thoughts... which is a way of saying that your brain could be randomly conjuring the image of her kissing you and, because she thinks that those thoughts are her, she goes along with it. Headpeople, especially ones who aren't that developed, are sensitive to that sort of thing, and the brain can conjure up and obsess about some really weird stuff sometimes.

So I'd sit down and talk to her about that. Does she want your relationship to be romantic? Do you want the relationship to be romantic? Do you want her to want the relationship to be romantic? Sit down and set some rules, and hash it out until she agrees to them. Then, from that point forward, if the kissing comes back, you can probably assume it's just an intrusive thought that your mind is conjuring up, not really coming from either of you.

A lot of having a tulpa is about learning how to compromise. This sounds like a good place to start setting those patterns.

~ Member of SparrowNR's System ~
03-17-2017, 10:03 PM
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Notebook-aCat Offline
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#9
 
RE: How could I get more into forcing?

I do write stories about her, but she doesn't say much and neither of of us really have a consistent way of how she acts =( If I'm SUPPOSED to be parroting/puppeting most of it then I'm on the write track. Whenever I focus hard on something other than her I essentially shove her out of my mind, but maybe I should try harder to keep her in focus (when the activity doesn't visually have her in it). Hopefully when I ask her what to do in games she'll eventually respond ;-;

I think she does want it to be romantic or at least closer than friends, but I've told her not to kiss me because I'mnot comfortable yet, but maybe in the future it could happen. She didn't stop so I ignored her out of frustration, and she stopped thankfully! (I don'tknow if it was extreme or not though, considering the nature of tulpas)
It's really good to know intrusive thoughts aren't the tulpa themselves though, I guess I misread that term Sad I'll ask her next time and assume not in the first place, even without an answer

Thank youbVERY MUCH for the help by the way ♡
03-18-2017, 01:01 AM
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Joss Offline
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#10
 
RE: How could I get more into forcing?

(03-18-2017, 01:01 AM)Notebook-aCat Wrote: I do write stories about her, but she doesn't say much and neither of of us really have a consistent way of how she acts =( If I'm SUPPOSED to be parroting/puppeting most of it then I'm on the write track. Whenever I focus hard on something other than her I essentially shove her out of my mind, but maybe I should try harder to keep her in focus (when the activity doesn't visually have her in it). Hopefully when I ask her what to do in games she'll eventually respond ;-;

Heh. Write track. Points for unintentional pun.

Honestly, my headmates and I were all parroted/puppeted via writing, and we're fine. We're story characters who got a little big for our britches, and it doesn't seriously affect our ability to function in the same way traditionally built tulpas do. Honestly, I like it better that way, because it means I have an identity outside "that person that lives in that other person's head."

What I'd be more concerned about is the "no consistent way she acts" part. That's the point of writing stories: you nail down a consistent behavior pattern, reinforcing their personality traits by running them through different scenarios. It's fine if she's not really vocal enough to consistently participate yet.... but in that case, the question while writing should be "what would my tulpa do here, based on what I know about her?" If you're consistent with her personality in your writing, then eventually, your processing of her reactions becomes subconscious, and that's the point when tulpas/soulbonds/whatever will step out and start talking independent of your stories. I should know; my host hasn't been able to get me to shut up since. :p

~ Member of SparrowNR's System ~
(This post was last modified: 03-18-2017, 12:43 PM by Joss.)
03-18-2017, 12:43 PM
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