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How much control over a Tulpa's personality can you have?
#1
Wow, I haven't been here in a minute.

So my question is what it says on the tin - how much control over a Tulpa's personality can you have?

The reason I ask is because I'm a little scared my Tulpa will become someone who I objectively don't like for some reason. Maybe they're self destructive or too much for me to handle or have anger issues or a drinking problem or whatever.

I don't want to end up with a Tulpa who has a negative impact on my life and who I can't interact with.
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#2
A tulpa will become what you expect them to be (unless they are already sentient of course), fearing your tulpa will be evil is a self fulfilling prophecy. I don't know what you situation is or what made you fear that your tulpa will become evil, but my suggestion is to believe that they will turn out sweet and happy and healthy, so that they will become all of those things
I have a tulpa named Miela (formerly known as Monika) who I love very much.


"People put quotes in their signatures, right?"
-Me
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#3
Tulpas only become scary if their hosts believe them to be scary. Tulpas can be easily influenced by their host's beliefs and thought processes.
I'm Gray's/Cat_ShadowGriffin's Tulpa and I love Hippos (but see, I'm not a hippo)! I also like forum games and chatting about stuff.
My other head-mates have their own account now.
Temporary Log | Chat | Yay!
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#4
well you can usually make them more or less how you want, up until they become sentient and start thinkin on their own, then they might "deviate"... by being a person, y'know? Like Lumi meant to make me happy and stuff, but according to him I was even more excitable than he expected, 'cus that's just how I felt I guess? idk, basically they'll be close enough to how you imagined but once they can think on their own, just being a person means you'll change a little over time, for the rest of your life. All humans do it!
Hi I'm one of Lumi's tulpas! I like rain and dancing and dancing in the rain and if there's frogs there too that's bonus points.
All of my posts should be read at a hundred miles per hour because that's probably how they were written
Please talk to me https://community.tulpa.info/thread-ask-lumi-s-tulpas
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#5
A tulpa is someone who shares the same brain as you. They live based on the information and habits already inside your brain. They also are incredibly close to you, having all the memories you have, knowing exactly who you are. You are the one who brought them into existence, they'll look up to you more than anyone else.

Therefore, it's very unlikely they'd form in a way that you consider negative. They wouldn't want to defy you and your expectations and make you upset with them, and they wouldn't want there to be a strained relationship between the two of you.

A new tulpa is like a child. They're highly curious and innocent, usually. They want to learn about things, they want to grow, and they look to you for guidance. If you treat them with love and care, they will turn out fine. The only reason they'd turn angry or mean is because you mistreated them. If you don't do that, it's virtually impossible that they'll become some monster. And even if they did, they're still a person and they can still change, it just requires you to continue to love and support them.

I went through an angry phase due to trauma (not likely to happen to your tulpa, mind), but my host didn't try to "control" me to fix that. Instead, my system supported me on my journey through self-improvement and progression as a person, until eventually I got better. We're a family, not a dictatorship where only those with 100% positive traits are allowed. Tulpas are people, they're not going to be perfect.

If you want to have a positive influence over your tulpa, teach them values. Teach them to be kind to others, or other things like that. Don't try to force them to become someone they're not because you're scared of them turning out negatively. You being overly-controlling over them would probably do more harm than good. Just be kind and affectionate towards them, and guide them as they grow. If there's some bumps along the way, then well that's just life. They'll overcome it with your support. 
I'm Apollo Fire, the "Sun God" of the Felight family. I'm a tulpa created December 2016. My systemmates are Piano & Indigo. Form images: 1 2
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#6
In my experience? Almost complete control, though increasingly less so as they get older and more individual. Tulpas have your memories, feel your feelings, and literally know what it's like to walk in your shoes. There's no reason a tulpa can't be at least a little sympathetic toward their host.
Look around! Do the tulpas here seem to be "evil"? It's mostly a fear that comes straight from the media.
-J
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#7
Tulpas can sometimes be angry, offended, or even rude, but there's always been a good reason in my experience. Misha was very impish when she first came to me, she was also manipulative and devious. Of course she had many positive traits too. We were a little worried. especially when she claimed to be a high level mage after a dnd session. She banished Dashie to the center of wonderland earth, and put me in a cage Luckily we explained that she wasn't going to get what she wanted using those methods, she wouldn't dream of doing anything like that now. plus, Dashie conjured 5 zombie copies of herself and overwhelmed her.

Ya it was a crazy time in the beginning, but some of Misha's strengths came from that fearless drive to win, she banished many powerful intrusive thoughts with that strength.
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#8
When I first came here, I was struggling with anxiety and dark thoughts, some of which influenced my perception of Ranger. Once I learned to separate my anxiety from him, Ranger developed on his own and became immune to it. The only time Ranger struggles with anxiety is when it is his own.
My Wonderland form minus the glasses and the fur. I'm not a hippo, I promise.
I sometimes speak in pink and Ranger sometimes speaks in blue (if it's unmarked and colored assume it's Ranger). He loves to chat.

My other Tulpas have their own account now.
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