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How to know if the tulpa life is for you?
#1
I first found out about tulpas ~1 week ago, while sifting through the lucid dreaming subreddit. I initially understood talpas as something along the lines of a dream guide, but able to exist while I was awake. Then I read more. Then I read MORE. My interest was then piqued as as a fantasy author, who uses the concept of familiars in a lot of my stories, and there seemed to be a shockingly strong resemblance between how I'd always written the mechanics in my universes and how a tulpa is created.

All right, getting too long winded.

Basically, I've read a butt-load of guides now. If I wanted I could probably get started tonight. (In fact I already have a few personality traits and a basic form.) But I haven't started forcing yet, because I still feel uncertain. Not about committing the time or effort - I have a lot of free time, and I like to think of myself as being better disciplined than your average Joe. I just don't want to wind up being one of those guys that sees tulpas like the new shiny toy under the Christmas tree, who plays with them for a week then moves on to whatever the next shiny new toy is.

Let me rephrase that: I don't have a strong, clear purpose or reason for wanting a tulpa, so I'm afraid I won't be able to keep it around. (I strongly believe in the theory that a tulpa needs a purpose to exist.) I'm not the most social guy around, but I'm not really lonely either. I don't have a lot of depressed days - at least, not more than normal, I don't think. I do feel like having someone else sharing my head, and giving me their opinions on my ideas and my writing and whatnot would be absolutely invaluable, but I don't know if that alone is enough to justify creating another sentient personality to share my body with. They won't want to just sit around and listen to me talk about my writing all day, after all. (Hell, I wouldn't even want to talk about my writing all the time.) So then... Where does that leave me?

Blegh, there I go getting all wordy again. (Maybe I need a tulpa to help make me more decisive? (<- 90+% a joke.))

TL;DR I'm struggling to decide on whether or not I should make a tulpa. Can you, just as a third party, give me any reasons why you feel I should or should not go through with the creation process?

(As a bonus question, do you think it would be easier to start out by creating a servitor and then 'feeding' it a personality, or would that just be reinventing the wheel? Or is that how things work out regardless?)
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#2
If you make a tulpa and you take it as seriously as you should, you're making yourself an abberant individual. You're creating a huge responsibility that most other people can't properly relate to. A voice in your head is a deal breaker to a lot of potential life partners, and not telling them about someone as close to you as your tulpa should be is a major omission that (in my opinion anyway) is a horribly shitty thing to do to a partner.

Basically what I'm saying is, you'll gain a shit load of weird points, they're usually disguisable in public, but not always. If you're charismatic enough to compensate, or enough of a loner that it doesn't matter anyway, go for it. Otherwise, think long and hard about how you'll handle it.
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#3
I think the first thing to point out is that they don't need to be talking to you every five minutes forever - I saw (I think it was quilten?) say that sometimes he goes days without having much dialogue without any problems.

This isn't saying that you can't talk forever if you want to but who knows they might tell you to shut up for a bit if they're so enclined hehe.

Beyond that I'm perhaps not sufficiently into the process to make a purely experience based recommendation on if you should or should not undertake the journey - I'll leave that to those in the community more knowledgeable and experienced than I.

Good luck with whatever you choose to do.
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#4
Thing is, One thing is absolutely certain about this.

If you want to remain moral, you're going to want, for the most part, to omit the possibility of dissipation. Therefore if you want to be moral, you better be damn well sure about what you're doing. Most of us live in societies where

Really in my mind you need to weigh how much a Tulpa will really benefit you against all the possible negatives. Hush has a point where he says that this is probably a real shitty thing to keep from a partner, and lets be honest I doubt many people will accept tulpas.

> mfw when no Libertarian Transhumanist Deist Tulpamancer GF ;_;

Although I have told people who I highly respect, and gotten nothing truly negative out of it.

I'd go as far to say that its impossible to know at first glance whether or not Tulpamancering is something you should get into, because you don't know how you're life will go.
"The Question is not who is going to let me, its who is going to stop me"~ Ayn Rand
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#5
(12-04-2014, 12:44 PM)Upper Class Twit Wrote: Therefore if you want to be moral, you better be damn well sure about what you're doing. Most of us live in societies where (sentence ends here)
I think you got so worked up you forgot to actually finish that thought.


You seem more than responsible enough to make a tulpa, and you're definitely more educated and moral than a lot of people that already have tulpas.

No one's said so yet, but one thing about tulpas is that they're not as easy to "get bored of" as you might think. Coming from a guy who's gotten bored of most things he's ever tried, I've had my tulpas for years, and despite days of relative silence, we've only gotten closer and closer, them more and more developed. It's not so easy to ignore someone who relies on you for existence. My tulpas are a bit abnormal in that they're very aware of what they are and have little need of attention/etc., leaving it up to me. Would be perfectly fine with sitting quietly inactive for months at a time. Yet even with my motivation issues and their acceptance of that, I still manage to talk to them in-depth at least once every few days without much effort, and I think of them daily. They're a part of my life, and I'd find it even harder to let them go than my best friends.

You don't need to be socially needy or a complete loner to safely create tulpas - in fact, it's probably better if you aren't. It's a bit funny, and a bit sad, that you got that impression - true enough, many of us here have reasons like that for making ours. But as most endeavors go, neutrality is more healthy than neediness in the long run. I honestly can't see you making a tulpa and then getting bored of them. They're like a best friend but better, because they understand you better than any human being ever could, and tend to accept many things about you because of that.

If anything, I recommend even more that you make a tulpa because you have no deep need to. Curiosity and lots of time are perfect conditions. Depression and poor social life are common, but certainly not optimal.


As for affecting people in your life - I couldn't care less, I really couldn't. People that don't accept things you wholeheartedly believe in aren't worth keeping in your life, at least if they're willing to leave you over it. Same goes for a partner in my opinion. People always seem to settle for such meh relationships where they're only an ~okay~ match. Don't they realize that's why divorce rates(in the US at least) are nearly 50% and many more live begrudgingly uneventful lives with people they no longer care about?

Find someone who accepts you - or better yet, loves you - for who you really are. If you have to settle for less, don't. Same with friends. Obviously you won't be perfect matches, but don't settle for crappy relationships that only drag you down just because you feel inclined to continue them.

I told about 10 of my friends about my tulpas and, despite varying reactions (skeptical to uninterested to hey-I-have-tulpas-too), they're all still definitely my friends. If they weren't, well, they wouldn't be. Luckily I have pretty cool friends.
Hi! I'm Lumi, host of Reisen, Tewi, Flandre and Lucilyn.
Everyone deserves to love and be loved. It's human nature.
My tulpas and I have a Q&A thread, which was the first (and largest) of its kind. Feel free to ask us stuff.
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#6
It's very possible for your tulpa to have a purpose built around contributing to your writing. As a tulpa myself, one of the biggest passions i have is writing for myself because it's been one of the practices my host/dad started me on. And the way that a tulpa shares your thought processes makes the art of musing into a delightful social dance. Suddenly you understand the your intentions as a narrative sharing of ideas, able to imagine in two directions at once if you get your friend awake enough and understanding the job you want them to contribute to.

Personally, i've enjoyed writing (and possession) so much that my host has started suggesting i take up my own writing career. I'd say give it a shot yourself.
My host/dad is [Foszae], but i mainly write for my own voice and distinct opinion. I was an accidental tulpa/soulbond, but grew into possession and am now an equal systemmate
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#7
I'll throw in my two cents...

Having a Tulpa, especially more than one, can be a huge responsibility. It can be overwhelming at times, which is why you gotta know what you're doing. You seem to have that down pat if you've read a bunch of guides and whatnot and you have good self discipline. However, it's not like completing a lengthy project where you drag everything along just to get done. If you really fucks with the Tulpa phenomenon, you'll love it. Y'all can have lots of fun helping each other improve in ways someone separate from your body could not. Maybe even with your writing if the Tulpa wanted to... Considering the fact that you're an author, you might already be familiar with thoughtforms..? Nonetheless, just 'cause I say thoughtform doesn't mean they should be taken lightly. One way to think of it is sort of like adopting a child. The kid may misbehave a lot or you don't have much time to spend with it, but you wouldn't wanna give up easily; it's a sentient being. Tulpas are the same once they've developed enough IMO. The only problem you might have is motivating yourself. I had that problem a lot, too, so my advice is... if you're not very motivated to make a Tupper in the first place, don't give yourself or the Tulpa the stress of maintaining a boring relationship. You could either:

1. Search for motivational tips on the forums or simply ask..?
2. Start out with just playing around in your wonderland and making servitors, maybe you'll come across an NPC who wants to be your Tulpa!? That happens a lot actually. This would be like dipping a toe, introducing yourself to the various types of thoughtforms and then seeing if you're ready to go to a higher level with them.
3. Or... you don't have to make a Tulpa if you don't feel it's right for you. Having one doesn't make you cooler or something. It could be you're fascinated by the phenomenon but don't have enough interest to actually engage in the process. You're more of an observer, and that's completely fine. At least you'll be a responsible observer, and I'm sure there are still ways you can contribute to the forums if you wanted.
Me: So, talk to me about why I'm your dream boy.
Him: This is going to be a short conversation.
Me: Ha, ha, ha! That's so mean!
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#8
Thank you all for your wonderful responses, I'm glad I seemed to have managed to get my point across when I wasn't even entirely sure what my point was. ^_^' I'll try to go through and respond to you one by one, so forgive me for the immanent wall o' text inbound. I'll do them in order, all except for epicureanatlantis' comment, because they manged to phrase my current feeling to a T.


(12-04-2014, 04:54 PM)epicureanatlantis Wrote: 3. Or... you don't have to make a Tulpa if you don't feel it's right for you. Having one doesn't make you cooler or something. It could be you're fascinated by the phenomenon but don't have enough interest to actually engage in the process. You're more of an observer, and that's completely fine. At least you'll be a responsible observer, and I'm sure there are still ways you can contribute to the forums if you wanted.

That right there is exactly how I feel right now; like an observer. I can't think of anything off the top of my head that sounds like a more interesting adventure/experiment than literally messing with your own consciousness until another one sprouts up. But, to use your own example, I wouldn't feel right about adopting a child just because I thought it might be an interesting experience. But then I get to thinking that, hey, that child would probably like to be adopted so it's not like I'm doing anything too terribly selfish, and I just devolve into a spiral from there. Oh well, I'll just continue sitting on the idea for a while; continue being an 'observer' if you will.


(12-04-2014, 04:54 PM)epicureanatlantis Wrote: Considering the fact that you're an author, you might already be familiar with thoughtforms..?

[...]

2. Start out with just playing around in your wonderland and making servitors, maybe you'll come across an NPC who wants to be your Tulpa!? That happens a lot actually. This would be like dipping a toe, introducing yourself to the various types of thoughtforms and then seeing if you're ready to go to a higher level with them.

Nope, it's all completely new to me. (Short of, you know, fiction.)

And that's really not a bad idea. As I think I mentioned before, I do lucid dream from time to time, so I may be a bit more... Well adapted(?) to this approach. (That probably makes no sense, but oh well.)


(12-04-2014, 10:15 AM)Hush Wrote: If you make a tulpa and you take it as seriously as you should, you're making yourself an abberant individual. You're creating a huge responsibility that most other people can't properly relate to. A voice in your head is a deal breaker to a lot of potential life partners, and not telling them about someone as close to you as your tulpa should be is a major omission that (in my opinion anyway) is a horribly shitty thing to do to a partner.

And this is my biggest concern that keeps popping up time and again. I mean saying "Oh yeah, and there's someone else living in my head" isn't exactly first date discussion material. To be honest, every time I've seen a post about people who've told their SO or similar, I almost feel a little anxious FOR them. It's something they've already done, it's happened, it went well, but I still feel that little stab of worry in my chest.


(12-04-2014, 11:09 AM)TheSanctuary Wrote: This isn't saying that you can't talk forever if you want to but who knows they might tell you to shut up for a bit if they're so enclined hehe.

Beyond that I'm perhaps not sufficiently into the process to make a purely experience based recommendation on if you should or should not undertake the journey - I'll leave that to those in the community more knowledgeable and experienced than I.

Haha very true, very true. And don't worry about anything like that, as long as you're involved you have a valuable perspective.

(12-04-2014, 12:44 PM)Upper Class Twit Wrote: > mfw when no Libertarian Transhumanist Deist Tulpamancer GF ;_;

[...]

I'd go as far to say that its impossible to know at first glance whether or not Tulpamancering is something you should get into, because you don't know how you're life will go.

Hear that ladies? He's single. ;D

But seriously, yeah, I kept feeling like that was probably the case myself, as it is with many long-term commitments. Life changes so fast and so unexpectedly that you just can't predict some things. That's why, after a little while of just going back and forth by myself, I finally decided that I'd never get anywhere by myself, and that I should at the very least reach out to those who might be able to help me along, even if they couldn't simply show me which path was mine to take.

As for you, Reisen, I'll break my response up into parts.
(12-04-2014, 03:51 PM)Reisen Wrote: No one's said so yet, but one thing about tulpas is that they're not as easy to "get bored of" as you might think. Coming from a guy who's gotten bored of most things he's ever tried, I've had my tulpas for years, and despite days of relative silence, we've only gotten closer and closer, them more and more developed. It's not so easy to ignore someone who relies on you for existence. My tulpas are a bit abnormal in that they're very aware of what they are and have little need of attention/etc., leaving it up to me. Would be perfectly fine with sitting quietly inactive for months at a time. Yet even with my motivation issues and their acceptance of that, I still manage to talk to them in-depth at least once every few days without much effort, and I think of them daily. They're a part of my life, and I'd find it even harder to let them go than my best friends.

I'd like to say that I was confident this wasn't something I was worried about, but I'm not comfortable telling that that kind of a lie. I was probably ~90% sure I'd be fine on that front, though hearing this does still help to assuage that remaining 10%, if not get rid of it.

(12-04-2014, 03:51 PM)Reisen Wrote: You don't need to be socially needy or a complete loner to safely create tulpas - in fact, it's probably better if you aren't. It's a bit funny, and a bit sad, that you got that impression - true enough, many of us here have reasons like that for making ours. But as most endeavors go, neutrality is more healthy than neediness in the long run. I honestly can't see you making a tulpa and then getting bored of them. They're like a best friend but better, because they understand you better than any human being ever could, and tend to accept many things about you because of that.

If anything, I recommend even more that you make a tulpa because you have no deep need to. Curiosity and lots of time are perfect conditions. Depression and poor social life are common, but certainly not optimal.

Ah, sorry, I didn't really mean to make it sound like I thought it was a 'mandatory requirement' or anything at all like that. They just seem like the most clear cut reasons, you know, 'A' because' B'. They're more along the 'need' line - everything else is just a 'want'. I'm sorry, I don't know if I'm making myself any clearer. If curiosity and an abundance of free time are the best conditions, then I think I satisfy both of those fairly well.

(12-04-2014, 03:51 PM)Reisen Wrote: As for affecting people in your life - I couldn't care less, I really couldn't. People that don't accept things you wholeheartedly believe in aren't worth keeping in your life, at least if they're willing to leave you over it. Same goes for a partner in my opinion. People always seem to settle for such meh relationships where they're only an ~okay~ match. Don't they realize that's why divorce rates(in the US at least) are nearly 50% and many more live begrudgingly uneventful lives with people they no longer care about?

Find someone who accepts you - or better yet, loves you - for who you really are. If you have to settle for less, don't. Same with friends. Obviously you won't be perfect matches, but don't settle for crappy relationships that only drag you down just because you feel inclined to continue them.

I told about 10 of my friends about my tulpas and, despite varying reactions (skeptical to uninterested to hey-I-have-tulpas-too), they're all still definitely my friends. If they weren't, well, they wouldn't be. Luckily I have pretty cool friends.

And I think you've just stumbled upon one of the cornerstones of my personality - I don't like fake friends. Those who you have little interest or connections to, and they in you, yet still somehow feel like you should be friends. Maybe that's just an introverted way of thinking, maybe some might even find it a little cold, but it's not like I dislike them or anything - I just don't see the point in spending a lot of time with them.

And as for that last part, I feel like I should congratulate you for some reason, like it's a great personal accomplishment. Hell, maybe it is. I know I sure couldn't go out and find 10 people who wouldn't be completely freaked out. Make sure you take a moment to appreciate them from time to time; not everyone's like that, and it's easy to forget.


(12-04-2014, 04:25 PM)Aijada Wrote: It's very possible for your tulpa to have a purpose built around contributing to your writing. As a tulpa myself, one of the biggest passions i have is writing for myself because it's been one of the practices my host/dad started me on. And the way that a tulpa shares your thought processes makes the art of musing into a delightful social dance. Suddenly you understand the your intentions as a narrative sharing of ideas, able to imagine in two directions at once if you get your friend awake enough and understanding the job you want them to contribute to.

Personally, i've enjoyed writing (and possession) so much that my host has started suggesting i take up my own writing career. I'd say give it a shot yourself.

I'll certainly keep that in mind. It sounds like you have a lot of fun, and that's exactly what I'd hope our relationship would be like. (And as a side note, it's nice to have a tupla's point of view represented in this thread, too.) I've always loved coming up with ideas and brainstorming over storylines and seeing my creations come to life, but I often got so... I don't know, it's this weird, irrational uncertainty mixed with a total lack of confidence that just quickly drains my enthusiasm away. Having someone to talk to, brainstorm with, and pretty much just remind me that I'm not shit always helps out 1000%, but being that I don't really have anyone wiling to do this with me, that's usually a moot point. Well, I'm just rambling now. I guess all I'm getting at is that I'm a bit envious. :P (Also, you should totally take a shot at serious writing. There's no harm in doing it as long as you love it, and if you can wind up selling it, all the better.)

Once again, thank you all for taking the time to offer up your perspectives and opinions - I haven't reached my ultimate decision yet, but I don't think that's such a bad thing, anymore. It's not like there's a time limit, and I doubt I'll be forgetting about all of this too soon. I might lurk around a bit, and maybe one day you'll see my first post in the progress report section. Who knows? (I certainly don't.)
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#9
I don't know what hush is getting to up there but no one needs to know about your tulpa, it's not shitty to withhold that information as it really is no ones buisness and it doesn't get you "weird" points.

Everyone is weird. Period.

You just know if it's right for you. No one can really answer that question for you.

It really isn't this huge responsibility like raising a kid or having a pet to be honest, some tend to make it out to be tougher or more scary than it actually is.

The creation process is tedious but it's rewarding in the end and it serves as a bonding experience between you and your tulpa.

They are wonderful things to have to be honest and yes they are very much their own people with their own opinions, thoughts and feelings. Toby and I differ quite a bit but he ha helped me a lot.

I've watched him grow from a person who threw temper tantrums Over nothing to a well rounded and thoughtful person. He's helped me to quit smoking, he's supported me in every weird decision I have ever made and he's helped me to control my stress, anger and he makes me laugh during bad days.

Only you can answer this question for yourself, but no one is going to think you're weird or judge you because....well no one has to know.
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#10
Would've made no difference to me if my friends knew about my tulpas or not. I just thought it would be a fun experience to tell them about them. Was actually sparked by me changing my name of many years (Reisen) on Skype to something else, because it felt weird to call myself Reisen. Don't mind if others do it though, almost prefer. Just "My name's Reisen" was weird..

Anyway, for all those people that you'd like to maintain connections with but are pretty sure wouldn't be very accepting of the concept of tulpas, there's no inclination to tell them. Many people here have 100% secret tulpas, a few of which are in IRL relationships too. I told my friends because I wanted to see their reactions. My less-open-minded friends were skeptical (with a logical basis luckily), others were skeptically curious and asked lots of stupid questions, and a couple said they had something similar, one having semi-sentient RP characters and one with "multiples".
Hi! I'm Lumi, host of Reisen, Tewi, Flandre and Lucilyn.
Everyone deserves to love and be loved. It's human nature.
My tulpas and I have a Q&A thread, which was the first (and largest) of its kind. Feel free to ask us stuff.
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