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[Imposition] So.. What am I doing wrong?
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So I have a question, about imposition. Basically, am I doing something wrong? Allow me to explain..

I tried following the guide linked from Sparky, Mylynes's "Advanced Vision Control Tutorial" and among other things it's said the idea is to close eyes and use the colored spots you see to so on and so forth. I see black and that's it. It says train by staring at an image on a computer screen for 10 seconds then close your eyes and hold that as long as you can. I close my eyes and still either see darkness or at best the faintest white blurry, static-like colorless outline of what I was looking at, for a moment before it too vanishes.

I read about people talking about vivid hypnagogic hallucinations and I thus far I have remained unaware of these because I just fall asleep. The best example I have had of "seeing" anything I wasn't specifically trying to visualize in mind space, other than the occasional dream, was after waking up and seeing a slightly more distinct (than the example given above) greenish-white outline of a face in my vision, still on inky black background, the face seeming to move a bit or change perspective in time with my heartbeat. This has happened twice now, and since I was wearing a sleep mask and had recently woken up I don't know if it was due to the ganzfeld effect or hypnopompia.

Everything else visual seems to be extremely vague or crude impressions of things at best. I have never felt, smelled or heard even the slightest thing that wasn't physically present. I thought I might have felt something faintly once but the inability to replicate it made me chalk it up to wishful thinking. Her speaking has always been mind voice from the head and has never seemed to come from any particular direction. The closest I have ever come to synthesizing anything, except a bit of blurry imagery, was I have twice now been able to give myself the impression I was tasting Reilyn's favorite Greek yogurt when I was chewing mint gum, and believe me that felt like a huge triumph.

So basically, either of us can open-eyed visualize a vague visual impression of our wonderland forms around the body, which we puppet to do what we want. I've asked Reilyn if she could do try talking out loud or poking me or anything at all and I typically get the "How the heck am I supposed to do that? It's not like I know any more than you about all this stuff", and I have to agree. Us making one or more vague images then interacting with them doesn't register at all.

Emotionally, if one of us hugs the other or holds hands or something we have been pretty good at being able to get an emotional experience across, as in the comfort and security and sense of being loved and/or belonging coming across as a warm fuzzy pleasant feeling but otherwise, nothing at all. From where we are at now, I just fail to understand how something like "just know they are behind a door and get ready to greet them, then open the door over and over till it works" is supposed to accomplish anything.

I feel like someone who has been sitting their whole life that is suddenly trying to learn to walk or even run. I don't believe in trying anything harmful or stressful to the body to "force" some sort of wild, unpredictable hallucinations. Am I just to understand that this is something that we will chip away at for years with minuscule yet incremental improvement? I don't expect to just roll out of bed one day and there she (or I, if she is main front) will be, but I have to admit that my starting point seems to be extremely far away from what I see many of you report. Somewhat related, we saw a video on aphantasia and it included a scale or reference pictures on visualization ability, and rated it from 0 (being nothing at all) to 10 (being able to see and construct complex 3D models and blueprints mentally) and I seemed to be sitting at a 1 or 2. I don't mean "oh, I was having a bad day boo hoo, I suck", I mean on our best day ever, with Bear's scripted narrative, emotional attachment providing a more immersive experience, combined with the want to give it our all for a test and for a friend, it has never gone above perhaps a 5 or 6.
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Messages In This Thread
So.. What am I doing wrong? - by LanceReilyn - 12-18-2018, 01:00 AM
RE: So.. What am I doing wrong? - by Breloomancer - 12-18-2018, 01:21 AM
RE: So.. What am I doing wrong? - by Ember.Vesper - 12-18-2018, 03:48 AM
RE: So.. What am I doing wrong? - by JGC - 12-18-2018, 04:17 AM
RE: So.. What am I doing wrong? - by Breloomancer - 12-18-2018, 04:25 AM
RE: So.. What am I doing wrong? - by JGC - 12-18-2018, 04:45 AM
RE: So.. What am I doing wrong? - by Luminesce - 12-18-2018, 06:46 AM
RE: So.. What am I doing wrong? - by Breloomancer - 12-18-2018, 01:33 PM
RE: So.. What am I doing wrong? - by Luminesce - 12-18-2018, 02:45 PM
RE: So.. What am I doing wrong? - by Bear - 12-18-2018, 03:42 PM
RE: So.. What am I doing wrong? - by Breloomancer - 12-18-2018, 03:47 PM
RE: So.. What am I doing wrong? - by Luminesce - 12-18-2018, 04:28 PM
RE: So.. What am I doing wrong? - by LanceReilyn - 12-18-2018, 08:51 PM

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