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Is it unusual to feel like a mother figure to your tulpa?
etoile Offline
boo boo the fool
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#1
 
Is it unusual to feel like a mother figure to your tulpa?

I'm new to the whole concept, but even though my tulpa is 17 (just a little older than me), I feel very nurturing and caring towards her. I want to care for her and make sure nothing bad ever happens to her, and I want to make her happy any way I can. She's very gentle and timid, and I'm a motherly person in general, which might add to this feeling. Does anyone else feel this way?
(This post was last modified: 11-06-2017, 03:05 AM by etoile.)
11-06-2017, 03:00 AM
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Chupi Offline
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#2
 
RE: Is it unusual to feel like a mother figure to your tulpa?

It's fairly normal to feel like a parent to your tulpa. You're putting effort in to make sure they have a reasonably good experience, feel loved and cared for, etc. It's similar enough to the emotional role of a parent in a child's life.

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Evan: boy, ~14, was an Eevee
Anera: anime-style girl, ~12; Lyra made her
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11-06-2017, 03:45 AM
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etoile Offline
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#3
 
RE: Is it unusual to feel like a mother figure to your tulpa?

I guess that makes sense! I feel like it’s almost a more intense feeling than that; I want to essentially coddle her and give her everything she could ever possibly want or need. I’m sure this would be bad practice with someone with a different personality, but she’s very deferential and not assertive at all; she wouldn’t ask for anything she needs herself. I worry that without someone to care for her, she’d neglect herself terribly. I’m still developing her, but since she’s one of my OCs that I only just recently realized was actually a rudimentary tulpa, she’s had a horrible past. I want to make the world perfect for her, since she’s gone through terrible things.
11-06-2017, 04:04 AM
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solarchariot Offline
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#4
 
RE: Is it unusual to feel like a mother figure to your tulpa?

Well, from the parent perspective, best practice is treat per nature, as no one interaction pattern fits all personalities. That said, I am wondering why we aren't more nurturing and loving to everyone. We have social expectations that people, personalities' should be more independent, that they should being able to meet all of their own needs, and so we brush people off too quickly, but if we were all able to listen better, hug more, and tune into others, maybe we'd see a decrease in conflict. sure, there are people who seem too needy, but then, maybe that's because they never got their needs met. Tuning into your tulpa is practicing tuning in, and I say, yay you for caring so much that you're thinking about this. Maybe you also want more of the same kind of nurturing affection, as we too frequently give others what we most want to experience for ourselves. maybe the whole exercise in creating/experiencing tulpa is to improve our being and interrelating. And maybe, when you create a safe place for your tulpa, which is very reasonable, they will evolve into who they need to at their speed, and you will also have a safe place for you to become who you will be. change isn't limited to one person, but to everyone involved in the exercise. making it a joint effort, not just about you or tulpa, then could be just what both of you need to find the right balance for your relationship.
11-06-2017, 06:09 PM
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FallFamily Offline
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#5
 
RE: Is it unusual to feel like a mother figure to your tulpa?

[Tri] It is common. In fact, it makes sense that it would happen quite a bit.

(11-06-2017, 04:04 AM)etoile Wrote: I guess that makes sense! I feel like it’s almost a more intense feeling than that; I want to essentially coddle her and give her everything she could ever possibly want or need. I’m sure this would be bad practice with someone with a different personality, but she’s very deferential and not assertive at all; she wouldn’t ask for anything she needs herself. I worry that without someone to care for her, she’d neglect herself terribly. I’m still developing her, but since she’s one of my OCs that I only just recently realized was actually a rudimentary tulpa, she’s had a horrible past. I want to make the world perfect for her, since she’s gone through terrible things.

We've been through some major hell for a similar reason (not quite the same, though). It is good that you are being caring and doing what you can for her. Care and listening can go a long ways.

Just keep in mind that you can't make a perfect world for her. Do what you can to make a good world, and be there for her when she struggles, whether it be with hardnesses of the world or other things.

Tri = {V, O, G}, Ice and Frostbite and Breach (all formerly Hail), and others
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11-06-2017, 11:26 PM
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etoile Offline
boo boo the fool
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#6
 
RE: Is it unusual to feel like a mother figure to your tulpa?

Thank you all ;v;

I absolutely agree with you, solarchariot. I wish more people were openly kind and caring.

I want her to become happier and more mentally healthy; she doesn’t speak unless spoken to (or she sees something she really likes) and won’t touch me, but I can feel her presence and I know it isn’t because she’s not there or ignoring me. I know I can’t force it, but I only want good things for her, and I’ll take it at her own pace and make sure she’s always okay with it. She deserves to be happy and comfortable. I’ll do my best to create a place for her that’s safe so she can grow.

Sorry, I got a bit sappy ;0; Thank you both!
11-07-2017, 01:19 AM
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