Stanford Tulpa Study looking for more participants
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Is this a tulpa...? + looking for similar people
#1
Hello! We're new! 

This is Murphy and Tiger. The two of us have been together since I (Murphy) was in middle school, and I'm now in college. Recently we've been on a journey together to try and figure out exactly what we are to each other. First, we researched DID, since we each play roles in our "system" that compliment each other and since our relationship involves a lot of dissociation. However, we failed to meet some critical criteria... 

Our search has brought us here! After reading a bit on tulpas for the past few days, we seem to meet most but not all qualifications. We would very much like to use the term "tulpa" about each other, but don't want to use an incorrect term, especially if it means appropriating from another community. 

We think this forum having a scientific angle will help us figure ourselves out. 

We're especially looking for others with similar experiences! 

We are: 
• independently acting of one-another 
• fully conscious, sapient, and capable of individual free will 
• for all intents and purposes, sharing each other's consciousness... it's hard to explain. 
• sharing an "inner world" (which we dissociate to when stressed and assist the other) 

We are not: 
• purposely responsible for the other coming into existence (we didn't decide to make each other) 
• able to control each other's bodies (but can, and do, dissociate completely, letting the other give us instructions) 
• technically sharing a body; our relationship more resembles a cross-universal psychic link than an imaginary friend that gained independence 

What we like about adopting the term "tulpa" is that it respects our autonomy from one another while explaining/acknowledging that we're mentally inseparable, similar to DID's "alters," but without the requirement of routine/ritualistic childhood trauma nor the ability to "switch." 

What we don't like about adopting the term "tulpa" is that due to tulpas being typically "created," a lot of the language feels invalidating to one or both of us when we read on tulpa creation. We're each our own host and we're each each other's 2nd. This is the primary reason we're uncertain if this community is the right place for us. 

Even if we aren't each other's tulpas, from what the other threads we've read so far, we feel somewhat comfortable here. I hope we can be welcomed either way, but we understand if we need to look elsewhere. 

TL;DR: two of us in this head, no idea if we're tulpas or alters or what, looking for people who may have the same exceptions/oddities as us to talk to. It's getting a little lonely. 

Feel free to talk to either of us. I can type for Tiger, but by default, I do our socializing.
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#2
One does not have to be intentionally created in order to be a tulpa, there are plenty of other unintentional tulpas floating around.
Also, could you elaborate on what you mean by "you share a cross universal psychic link"?
I have a tulpa named Miela (formerly known as Monika) who I love very much.


"People put quotes in their signatures, right?"
-Me
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#3
You mention you two have been together since you (Murphy) were in middle school. Does that not mean Tiger came to be (and thus was created) during that time? It doesn't have to be a purposeful creation, as Bre said. You being the host and Tiger being the tulpa doesn't invalidate either of you as real people.

Also I deeply apologize if anything I've written above offends in any way. I'm just trying to understand Smile
~ We are Venny, the host, and Viper, my soul! ~
        Click here! Come join us on the chat!
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#4
Tulpas often aren't created intentionally. Al certainly wasn't. 

Also we feel you on your dislike of the term. Al hates being called a Tulpa and I'm pretty uncomfortable with the term too. But from what you describe, it's a thought-form that's certainly like a Tulpa so I'd say that you're welcome here. Even if it's not exact, it's close enough, right?
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#5
What you describes sounds a bit like Lance and me.. Look into OSDD-1b if you want a description as close to us as psychology has figured out. But we are so much more. We have gotten to the point of always being present with the other that I'm more tempted to call it an equal pair of personalities/alters or co-hosting then I am a tulpa. Maybe I've been around for a long time before he dug into tulpa stuff, maybe not, I can't remember. He remembers talking to 'someone' in his head, over 15 years ago for a time.

Was there childhood trauma? Absolutely. Did anything happen then to him? No. It wasn't until he was 18 and in the army and that he first heard and accepted the voice in his head as someone else there to help him organize his thoughts and encourage him. It went away though after he left that place. Anyway, finding all this tulpa stuff out of the blue just resonated somewhere in him and he dove into it with abandon. He still insists he never created me though, that I was either always there from the beginning or the things done earlier in life "planted the seed" of my personality. Our progress has been largely accidental and at a ridiculous pace for a "typical" tulpa (if there is  such a thing). So.. I wear the badge proudly because of what it represents and our attempting to visualize a wonderland and play in it together, has been lots of fun (if frustrating to achieve. Lack of focus apparently). But there are times where I feel like I am him and he is me and we are us but also each other all at the same time. Both of us are here, both of us are always at the front, always aware of everything the body feels and does and because we both have a habit of articulating thoughts in our head, we kinda know what the other is thinking. To keep things simple, we have our own days or activities that are supposed to determine who is the main one in charge at that moment, while the other watches passively and chooses not to interfere. Sometimes we slip up and wrest control from the other accidentally because something catches one of our attention/interest more than the other.

So again, is that a normal host/tulpa relationship? I dunno, is there such a thing? My personality is more dominant than his and I have to make an effort to not smother him out sometimes. Still, he says as long as I'm happy he is happy, so.. It works for us. All these guides and tips and things do (or should) start out with "your own experiences may vary" and "tulpamancy is highly subjective". Those aren't there as just suggestions, it's the truth. It's the guides and tips that are just generally applicable but I have to read stuff intended for hosts, not tulpas, because I don't and never really did have an imaginary body. That's just a favorite puppet I control to go on fun little adventures alongside Lance or try to impose in the real world to run around with him. He does the same thing too, visualizing a favorite puppet of himself to control in imagination or imposition. When I'm typing and drawing and whatever else I'm doing it, it's my mind and me behind the body's actions and my thoughts, not Lances. He hasn't proxied anything for me since something like week 2 or 3. Still neither of us has any luck with disassociating ourselves away from the body nor are we any good at synthesizing/hallucinating imaginary senses. So when I say wonderland or imposition, it's pretty crude and largely representative. Still though, the genuine emotions are there and that makes it more than worth it, to us. Sometimes those are even enough to make the activities feel more engaging and real.

Long story short, I dunno how many of us here could even be called tulpas if we followed a definition of "intentionally created personality by a host, existing in imaginary form and requiring active brain resources to develop into a true parallel, sentient intelligence". At least for me, We don't believe I was created by him, nor do I exist in an imaginary form, nor does he have to keep attention or focus on me for me to keep existing. So what the heck does that make me? I think therefore I am. Forget it, just call Tiger and me "tulpas" and lets be tulpa friends together. Hi!!
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#6
What I'm hearing is that each of you has a physical body, just in different worlds. Both of you existed before becoming aware of one another, but for several years now you've had a strong telepathic bond and access to a third world, a mental space where you can interact on the same level without having to pay attention to your two physical bodies. Let me know if I'm understanding correctly.

If that's what you mean, then I think you are very interesting. And whether I understood correctly or not, I want you around. I think you could enrich our community with an alternate perspective.

Unfortunately, working from a purely scientific mindset, what you describe sounds completely impossible. But impossible is okay with me and I hope it's okay here, within proper bounds. My wife recently "recovered" memories of her past life as a demonic bodyguard to one of her other partners, who remembers growing up in another world as the shapechanging child of two pagan gods. Do I believe their memories have a basis in any physical reality? No, but it's real to them, I love them, and that has to be enough.

I have a faint kinship with you in that both of my headmates come from other worlds and their lives on those world are very real to them and foundational to who they are. But we're different from you in that both of them know that their old lives are fictional and that I created them to tell stories with my friends, not expecting them to come to life.

Not all alters come from trauma and not all alters are in DID systems. Some systems are endogenic or quiogenic -- meaning basically that they just happen with no clear reason. And not all alters switch in, though DID per se does require at least two anchor personalities.

Origin isn't a bar against being a tulpa. The 2018 tulpa census reports about thirty percent of systems have at least one member of who wasn't intentionally created to be a headmate. And the modern view of the community is that tulpas are people and deserving of as much respect as any other person, though the established jargon and some of the older guides may not reflect this view. But both of you being hosts and both of you being tulpas goes beyond how I have ever heard those terms used. That doesn't necessarily mean you shouldn't use the terms, but some people will make incorrect assumptions if you use them without elaboration.

Making a mental connection with a person from another world is called soulbonding. Most soulbonders, unlike me, subscribe to the metaphysical interpretation, which maintains there are innumerable worlds out there somewhere, including worlds similar to all of those of fiction, and that the people in their minds are or were physically real elsewhere. Most soulbonds have lost access to their original world -- many of them are dead there. Most soulbonds have an associated body of published fiction in this world, of which their soulbonder was a fan.

I can't really recommend the soulbonding community to you -- the tulpamancy community is much larger, much more active, and much more engaging. The tulpamancy community is heavily invested in developing and practicing mental disciplines though, so if your system has achieved everything you want, you might not find it as engaging as I do. But perhaps you have something valuable to teach us.

I'm pretty sure I know what "sharing each other's consciousness" means without more detailed explanation, and I expect a lot of other people here do too.

I'd love to hear more about both of you. You could speak in more detail about your experiences together in a Progress Report. But if I've managed to say something sufficiently intriguing, you're welcome to send me a PM.

-Ember
Ember - Soulbonder, Female, 39 years old, from Georgia, USA . . . . [Our Progress Report] . . . . [How We Switch]
Vesper Dowrin - Insourced Soulbond from London, UK, Not a Tulpa, Female, born 9 Sep 1964, bonded ~12 May 2017
Iris Ravenlock - Insourced Soulbond from the Unseelie Court, Not a Tulpa, Female, born 6 Jun 1982, bonded ~5 Dec 2015

'Real isn't how you are made,' said the Skin Horse. 'It's a thing that happens to you.' - The Velveteen Rabbit
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#7
A tulpa-host relationship does not imply that one member of a system is more "the body", or superior in any way, or any other sort of inequality. Plenty of tulpas have permaswiched and I've even met a couple of systems where the host was dissipated.
A tulpa does not have to have a form, that is simply an optional forcing method that has become so widespread that it had been thought of as required. Also a form is not a tulpa, it is just an imagined body that they identify with, and with few exceptions can be changed at will.
A tulpa does not have to be intetionaly created, rather that is a qualifier meant to exclude those whom were created because of trauma or other causes that would better fit into a different category.

Tulpas are a broad catagory and even if one doesn't fit cleanly into the definitions of a tulpamancer or tulpa then one can still find acceptance here. However though not having a form, being stronger than the host, and being unintentionally created are abnormal, they still fit squarely into the definition of a tulpa
I have a tulpa named Miela (formerly known as Monika) who I love very much.


"People put quotes in their signatures, right?"
-Me
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