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iVirus' progress report.


iVirus

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Hello everyone. I'm pretty new here. I have done a lot of research over the past few weeks and started "forcing" today.. I was able to visualize everything decently and overall I think the session went alright. I have ADHD so it's very hard to concentrate sometimes. If anyone has any tips and such let me know. ^^

~It's a secret to everybody~

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I keep thinking that I won't be able to accomplish my goals, so I wanted to try something about 25 minutes ago. I read a short guide on talking to your tulpa by scattering your thoughts and then pushing them to the front of your mind. I wanted to try this a different way. I turned off all the lights in my room and let my mind wander. I'm kind of scared of the dark, so as you can guess, my mind started getting paranoid. The usual sounds of the house creaking turned into footsteps and such. Then I could vividly hear music from different horror movies come into my mind and I couldn't think straight, I also completely forgot what I was doing. Then it all stopped and it felt like my tulpa wanted me to stop what I was doing, a feeling of safety came over me for about a minute, then I snapped back to reality and turned my computer back on before everything went haywire again. I feel kind of bad for doing it, but I guess it worked..

~It's a secret to everybody~

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Since I didn't really state any reasoning behind my desire to make a tulpa or what I wanted to get out of this experience, I'll explain everything to the best of my ability.

 

First off, I just want a normal human girl for a tulpa, unless she wants differently later on. For personality, I decided to go with motherly, concerned, patient, intelligent, story lover, competitive, decisive, intrusive, brave, and maybe a love for coffee because I love coffee so much, and let her decide the rest on her own or make changes to it, as I wouldn't want to force anything on her.. As for her name, I'd like to suggest Tera.

 

The main reason I desire to create a tulpa is to feel less lonely and perhaps help bring me back to reality. I have a massive inferiority complex that has driven me to switch to homeschooling and all around distance myself from people. I have a few really good friends who I confide in, but I would be able to show my true self and be all around more confident if I had a bond with a tulpa you know?

For my wonderland, I'm trying to keep it simple until she's ready to have more. It's just the field next to my house during the spring, since I've been there so much and it's easy to write about in detail.

 

For my current progress, I'm not sure if I'm doing well or not.. At one point I thought I was getting responses, but I guess I wasn't.. I started imagining her as blue energy, and then I would be talking to Luna or something and it would just be my thoughts drifting off again. :\ I'm really not sure what I should do at this point.

 

I feel that I should make this a point as well. I cant stress enough my free time. I'm home literally every hour of every day unless I have plans which I don't have much, however I've tried to go for walks and force at the same time. My parents are never home, so I don't have to worry about talking out loud when forcing as well. I've read several guides thoroughly, but I feel that it would be easier for me to either to have someone help me in something like a skype call, or someone to explain everything they did and didn't do. I've noticed that it's easier for me to follow detailed examples than just going with it, you know? It's an extreme road block for me in every day life as well.

 

I really don't want to inconvenience anyone (including Tera), but I would value any help I could get.

~It's a secret to everybody~

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I've just started making a Tulpa myself as well, so I don't know how much help I'd be, but I'd be glad to have another tulpamancer in my skype contact list if you want to. PM me you're interested.

Just me and Fi.

 

My Progress Report

 

What if we're just God's Tulpas?

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Howdy virus! Seems like you are having some confidence issues. Now that's fine, nothing to worry about it happens to us all. I am still less than a week in to my tulpa and I can say there has been a lot of times where I kind of stand back and ask myself what the hell am I doing?

I won't clutter your PR with a massive text wall. If you ever have questions or whatnot you can sure message me in a PM if you would like to? I have my days to myself and it is no problem to write out a few suggestions for some of your questions. Totally up to you!

There's a reason scar tissue is stronger than regular tissue.

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Last night, I was given some advice. Considering my concentration issues, I was told to try to imagine Tera in the room with me and force, rather than in wonderland at first. When I tried this method, I was able to hear very vivid sounds, and a voice for a few moments. Today however, I've been having issues. I try to force and it's almost like my mind pushes me back, shocks me back into reality if you will. I'm starting to worry that with my issues of concentration, if my tulpa would even turn out correctly. When I was trying to do traits earlier, I would have the intention of saying one, and one that I didn't have an intention of would replace it. *hits his head on his desk* I decided that my tulpa would be better off being a shapeshifter for now, as whenever I try to think of a form something else takes it's place.

~It's a secret to everybody~

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I can safely assume that it is easier for me to concentrate at night rather than in the day. I have been narrating to my tulpa for a while tonight, and although I cant tell if the words in my head are her replies or not, I feel like I'm actually talking to someone rather than not. I got a checklist of things to do with her, traits, and likes and dislikes in a binder with a picture of what she's supposed to look like at the moment on the front.

~It's a secret to everybody~

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Alright, so I've been narrating to Tera as much as possible. Most of my thoughts are directed towards her. Still not really a response that I can tell is from her but that's okay. Still, any tips for making the process easier are very much appreciated. ^^


I feel I have a pretty good visual of her now as well and I can recall it pretty easily. I used a girl from an anime I didn't know of as a template for what I wanted her to look like at first. Oh and I've been getting head pressure a lot. ^^

~It's a secret to everybody~

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Well guys, I have some good news. Tera's sentient enough to make physical responses when I'm narrating/forcing with her. I got depressed at one point while visualizing her, and she kissed my cheek and smiled at me, which was completely unexpected.

~It's a secret to everybody~

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Keep it up ivirus! Communication with your Tulpa in any form is a great thing. Stay positive with them, keep working with them on their traits and keep trying to keep their form in mind!

There's a reason scar tissue is stronger than regular tissue.

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