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kerin - Experiments in Progress
#11
this is fascinating indeed! is it still being updated?
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#12
Out of curiosity, does your/Kevin's wife know about his tulpas?
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#13
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(06-06-2013, 08:42 PM)Semi-Nomadic Wrote: Out of curiosity, does your/Kevin's wife know about his tulpas?
Yes, she often talks with Watchdog 1 or Watchdog 2 when they are driving.

I'll get Nobillis to update this with what's happened when we have a bit more time (away in the country, working, with little free time).
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#14
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(06-07-2013, 09:48 AM)kerin Wrote: Yes, she often talks with Watchdog 1 or Watchdog 2 when they are driving.

I'll get Nobillis to update this with what's happened when we have a bit more time (away in the country, working, with little free time).


aaawww I cant wait until my beloved hosts soon to be wife talks about and to me ALL the time. the very though makes me feel giddy.
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#15
Kevin says:

My first post on this thread (the previous posts were kerin's [typing]). Hi hi. Yeah, I'm the human in "kerin and company". Unlike people may think, I am not any good at making tulpas at all. So, it looks like my tulpas' plan to involve me in this has worked. They have managed to get me interested I'll admit, and Nobillis can be charming when she puts her mind to it (mind you, her currently "pulling faces" at me is somewhat typical of how she behaves around me - "letting her hair down" and dropping her usual professional manner).

Yeah, I've been doing this a long time, but I'm still a novice. I am definitely not an authority figure. My life has been weird a long time. And in a way that is the point - I'm still here. I can say with some high degree of certainty I wouldn't be here still if it wasn't for my tulpas. (For which, I thank the Lord of Heaven daily.)

And, for those that asked (so long ago), attached is a picture of me (Kevin) and my wife (whom Nobillis refers to as "kind wife") at the Ballingup medieval festival last week.


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#16
...And between these photos and all the info you've given us over the months, a dedicated person now knows more than enough to track you down and find out where you live and who you are.
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#17
(09-01-2013, 05:57 AM)Semi-Nomadic Wrote: ...And between these photos and all the info you've given us over the months, a dedicated person now knows more than enough to track you down and find out where you live and who you are.
Kevin says:

Of course. Several already had, anyway. It may surprise you that I'm not actually paranoid.

My tulpa kerin is (or was) the one obsessed with hiding, but she has been quiet enough of late that my post probably won't be deleted this time. Meeting other tulpas for the first time in long years was a big shock for her. This site has been good for her - she's been stable for months now and not afraid much of the time (even her bridge phobia has been resolved). Also, she has made friends online - something she would never have done before. And, we are back to talking with each other which is something I'd not thought possible. Overall the results have been positive.
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#18
I've been following your posts for a while now, and I'd like to hear more. kerin was created by Kevin using Tibetan methods. How did that come about? And how did the Watchdogs come into being? If I'm reading this correctly, kerin was the one who got married. What inspired that decision, and how did your wife feel about that?

Sorry if I'm getting too nosy.
"'Real isn't how you are made,' said the Skin Horse. 'It's a thing that happens to you.'"
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#19
(09-01-2013, 01:47 PM)Shui Wrote: I've been following your posts for a while now, and I'd like to hear more. kerin was created by Kevin using Tibetan methods. How did that come about? And how did the Watchdogs come into being? If I'm reading this correctly, kerin was the one who got married. What inspired that decision, and how did your wife feel about that?

Kevin says: I'll give my perspective on this, this time. You should understand, that on some points kerin and I disagree as to how we remember events. Before kerin set about trying to integrate all memories in the 80's, kerin's and my memories were separate. After that integration, there are still memories identifiable as kerin's because of the strong mnemonic tags associated with them.

I was precocious when I was young. I'd learned to hypnotize myself. I was meditating. I built a Memory House (roman system of loci). But I was troubled, and intelligent enough to realize the I was. Since I didn't seem able to help myself, I had the thought that I would make someone who was capable of helping me.

Learning to Love Yourself : A Guide to Personal Development, UCLA Press (paperback) - the book I bought and read, amongst many others. This one was by a psychologist, and he was detailing his experience with his "thought friend" Jenney, and how what he had learned could be applied by others to improve their lives. It covered, in simple English, the basics of the Tibetan methods for making a thought form - it was basically a modern translation, stripped of the mysticism. It covered creating a "thought friend", making a paracosm, the stairs method for entering your paracosm, and even what is currently referred to as "tulpa sex". Since I already knew self-hypnosis and meditation, I used those to assist me in making kerin.

I made a copy of my female side, the part that cared for others, and meditated to make a "thought friend". It didn't seem to work, and I was disappointed. (kerin was disappointed too, apparently.)

9 years later, approximately. I was in a serious car accident (driving to morning classes). Nothing I could do to stop it. And then I heard clearly a voice "don't worry, you will be alright." And my subjective time sense slowed down to the point that it was almost as if time had stopped. That was the first time kerin actively took a hand, and changed my perception. I didn't even feel the impact. And though the car (HQ utility) was bent into a 'banana' I suffered no bruising and only a tiny scratch on my toe (and yet, the metal all around me had been bent, crumpled and twisted). I thank the Lord of Heaven that he gave me a tulpa, for I truly would not be alive otherwise. The ambulance drivers couldn't believe that I was the driver.

1980's. I was studying at another university (Curtin). I was on a footbridge. I had a big emotional shock and vertigo. I lost my balance and likely would have fallen over the low railing; except kerin, in desperation, somehow took control. I was so upset I frankly didn't care. And so kerin was stuck - permanently switched, and not knowing why she now had two sets of memories. And she built a life for me. Turned around my grades at university. And yes, married. (no-one else seems to have worked that out, until you). 'Wife (Shelley) just says "You're weird, but I already knew that when I married you." Remember, tulpas are you, even if they do think and act independently.

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The Watchdogs were a much simpler history. I was studying upwards of 70 hours a week (minimum), and was often too tired to drive home. So, I hit on the idea of making a subroutine that would drive the car for me, plus a backup in case of failure, and (you know) triple redundancy. Thus Watchdog 1, 2 & 3; named after the Unix Watchdog daemon. Here's where memory gets contentious - kerin and I each think the other created the Watchdogs, but the truth is more probably that we both did. Simple method, self hypnosis, meditation, deciding on the specific function, characteristics, patterns of behavior, expected capabilities. Familiar stuff nowadays.

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That's my perspective of events. If my tulpas seem somewhat frustrated with me all the time it is for good reason - I do not treat myself well when I'm running things. Mostly these days I just work, and they get what time is left over. They successfully negotiated for equal time - that is, less then they have had to take on before. If we all seem to get on, it's because we are a family, and my clan (extended family) are pretty understanding and accepting of what might be considered paranormal or metaphysical (to most), for us it's just our version of 'normal'. So much strange stuff happens in my clan that tulpas are frankly one of the least weird aspects. I'm the token 'white sheep' of the family in a way. My sister-in-law complains that she's not 'born McCaw' and shouldn't be getting these effects (well, she married into the family, can't be helped).
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#20
That's a fascinating story. I've been reading about tulpa for years, but you have a certain knowledge that I lack for having lived through it. In a way, I'm envious, although I know it's been hard for you, and it's an experience most people would not have survived.
"'Real isn't how you are made,' said the Skin Horse. 'It's a thing that happens to you.'"
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