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Kociara's and Cyfraza's tales from Dreamspace


kociara81

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Welcome to our little piece of this forum.

 

I know that my English isn't perfect but I hope you will understand something.

 

This topic will concern us, although it's more about Cyfraza. I live with Cyfraza a very long time. In most of these will be our memories of the time when I was developing Cyfraza (there is still much things to develop). We also tell a bit about our Wonderland that we called Dreamspace. And our adventures that we met.

 

But We don't forget about the present time. Sometimes We'll tell you something.

 

So, Let's go!

 

 

The cause and circumstances of Cyfraza's creation

 

Probably each of you had a reason to create your tulpa. I also had a reason to appoint Cyfraza to life. My reason was very personal but I will try to bring it in a nutshell.

 

Well, I have Asperger's Syndrome. From an early age I felt like an alien from another planet. By misunderstanding of the people I had a lot of problems (and still have it). Because of my otherness many people bullied me. Parents didn't know how to helped me. Their advice was to simply ignore (but it rather make it worse)

 

The worst period of my life was the time when I attended a middle school (I was fourteen.) People then terribly sharp bullied me (as well as physically and mentally). My psyche was then heavily ruined.

 

My biggest dream was then that we created something that will help me. Have someone who will support me. Someone who will protect me from further self-destruction. A very close friend who I can trust.

 

But the answer to these needs was to create Cyfraza.

 

(In these times, I didn't know what is tulpa and how to create it. But recently Cyfraza "dived a little" in my memory and bring memories from this period).

 

Well intensive thinking about the creation of such a person, and frequent fantasizing about my OC inspired by a Jazz Jackrabbit game series, contributed to the creation of Cyfraza.

 

The first signs that "It's alive!"

 

The period of middle school is the time when to "joyful pack" of my ailments joined depression and social phobia. I then thought of suicide. I wanted to use the nearest object and to kill myself. My life didn't make sense. But then something strange happened. I sensed that, something that isn't me, flooded me with positive thoughts to drown out the bad thoughts.

 

It was a strange. But It stopped me from my first attempt.

 

The first meeting with the visual form of Cyfraza

 

Well, from an early age I noticed that I have a talent for lucid dreams.

 

Here is my section on the types of dreams according to consciousness:

  • unconscious (You have no effect on anything. You are going according to "top-down scenario")
  • half-conscious (You have a little influence and choice. But you still have a "top-down scenario")
  • conscious/lucid dream (You can do whatever you want)

 

But what does this have to do with Cyfraza? So I use most often dream to be able to get to Dreamspace.

 

Well, I met Cyfraza in my dream. In a sense, I would gave this dream a half conscious category.

 

The dream began with the total emptiness. Suddenly, out of the void came to me unknown galactic hare. She asked me with nice voice if I wanted to go on a little trip. I agreed and I saw the beautiful view.

 

The first of them was a meadow where there was a lovely waterfall. River passes through a meadow. And in the distance I could see a forest. It was warm. In the background, I could hear the sounds of nature. I felt a gentle breeze on me. I heard also the noise of the wind. It was clear but the sun doesn't hurt my eyes. Everywhere was the smell of flowers and fresh water.

 

(For today, this is the place where I usually meet with Cyfraza when I get to the Dreamspace)

 

Cyfraza suddenly conjured up a blanket, sat down and we start talking. She asked me "Do you like this place?". I truthfully replied that this place is lovely. She smiled at me. But after a moment, she said in a sad voice that soon I need to wake up.

 

Then the alarm clock woke me up. I had to go get ready for school.

 

I got to know Cyfraza's name in another dream. Then for me, She was just a nameless character.

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That's amazing, I'm glad that your tulpa saved your life. I'm hoping that my tulpa will save mine as well.

 

And It wasn't the only time when she saved me. I think I should build a massive monument for her.

 

I'd rather you didn't want a situation where your tulpa has to save you from yourself. These are really hard times.

 

Today, for a change something more enjoyable. I think a big part of you likes to look at pictures

 

Most of my friends think that Cyfraza is just my OC from my fanficton. Only close friends know about the fact that she is my tulpa. They are very open minded people and are willing to accept my quirks (because they have them too).

 

Well my friends drew quite a lot of drawings with Cyfraza. And today I want to share my collection.

 

http://imgur.com/a/uUe2D#0

 

They are big so it is best to choose "view in full resolution" option

 

Here's a drawing that I drew myself. I don't have much talent for drawing and I think this is my best drawing I've ever done.

 

9VUta0K.jpg

 

This post was sponsored by visual thinking people

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Yesterday

 

Yesterday was most of the day fine and calm. Until the time when my father got fit of anger. His scream and behavior frightened me. After that, most of the time I was hidden under a blanket and cry. I'm so scared when someone yells.

 

Cyfraza: "At least we have a trip to Corruption's Tainted Domain out of your head".

 

I managed to hit the lucid dream.

 

The only way to meet up with Corruption when I don't have a bad humor is going to Corruption's Tainted Domain. It is really a horrible place which is unlikely, I would like to visit.

 

Corruption immediately detects any moment to be able to finish off me and yesterday was a good opportunity for it. I got a strange idea. I decided to ask the same Corruption what it is.

 

Corruption said "You are a fool, with your lack of reading between the lines. I'll give you a few tips. Perhaps such an suit (in the hacker's jargon this is a awful insult) like you, will catch it. I've been with you for a long time, but most strongly intensified in middle school. I'm reject these bad thoughts. I want you to destroy itself. Doctors still don't know how to get rid of me. Doctors think that I am a disorder in brain chemistry. Drugs for me may make you brainless zombies. I think you should already know the answer."

 

Me: "Are you my depression?"

 

Corruption: "Bravo! You can now take a medal made from a potato! You little brainless creature!"

 

Cyfraza: "So we can't kill or delete it."

 

Me: "I don't want to look at what this time, It will do with our Dreamspace"

 

Cyfraza: "So, We get off the here?"

 

Me: "Exactly. Here's console (I gave her the console). Wake me up"

 

Cyfraza inscribed appropriate commands in the console. I woke up.

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Again, I write about yesterday. Because I previously skipped one day.

 

Yesterday we did little a demoparty just for us. We watched demos most of the day.

 

But where is alcohol? Because demoscene aren't only demos.

 

Cyfraza: "We can have fun without alcohol"

 

It rather difficult to describe our reaction to demos. Most would fit in single words such as "awesome" "fantastic" "elegant". I know that creating a good demo you have to put a lot of effort. You must demonstrate your creativity and skills.

 

And when I look at the demo's code or just demo, it amazes me how they are crammed into such a small file size. My friend who belongs to the demoscene repeatedly showed his optimized code. Even though It was in a programming language which I little know, for me, it is still witchcraft and black magic. I think I should be more motivated to learning programming.

 

After a demo marathon our thoughts could be represented by these gifs:

 

(Due to the fact that these images aren't friendly for people with epilepsy, I decided to give links to them (I know I can use img function. But I decided that the links are more secure.))

 

http://i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/125/644/partyhardmath.gif

http://i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/216/678/32c7859f-3085-4c7e-ac73-e788003ecf3a.gif

http://i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/814/585/ea3.gif

http://i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/434/699/b50.gif

 

We watched classic demos and as well as new demos.

 

The first one was a classic PCs demo "Second Reality" by Future Crew:

 

 

We think that most of the effects are are now obsolete. But we still enjoy the music. Our favorite part of the demo is that with plasma and rotating cube with plasma texture. And these dots were also good.

 

After that we went Amiga classic "State Of The Art" by Spaceballs

 

 

It is one of the first Amiga demos where it has been used motion capture. We really enjoyed rave music in this demo. The effects in this demo mesmerized us. We still marveled that such things can be done with Amiga 500.

 

Or maybe something from our Hungarian cousins? Meet "Project Genesis" made by Conspiracy.

 

 

Still amazed how many things they fit in the 64kb limit. We very enjoyed the music and effects.

 

We saw a lots of demos. Unfortunately, not all We was able to present to you. If I had to describe all the demos that we saw then this post would be very long (We will exceed limit of the allowed number of characters XD). We have selected only a few of these that we most enjoyed.

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That's really neat. It's the first time I've heard of these demos. I've worked with compression before, so I can understand how some of this works, but it's still absolutely incredible, especially considering the size. It's not something I could do.

 

And your story about Corruption reminded me very much of Carl Jung. Are you familiar with his experience?

"Some things have to be believed to be seen." - Ralph Hodgson

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@sushi: I heard only a little about him in school but more of a philosophical side. I searched for more information about him on the internet. His research is very interesting.

 

I think I understand how demo's code works. But heavily optimized code is very unreadable. And inserted assembly code, it's not my cup of tea. I'm just a little know C and java.

 

------

 

I'm catch a cold. Health doesn't allow me much too long to sit in front of computer. I have a runny nose, cough and fever. I need a rest.

 

We found our new favorite track:

 

http://keygenjukebox.com/?i=SKiDROW_-_Fallout_3_Operation_Anchorageintro.mp3

 

(Surprise you that we love chiptune? I don't pirate. And is that a part of the demoscene is doing illegal things (often crackdemo/crackintro is better than cracked thing). I don't care. I'm interested in demos, intros and music.)

 

If I will feel better, I would like to write a much longer post.

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Well, Jung wasn't just a psychologist. He was also a patient. He went through a long period where he started going really crazy. Rather than reacting like most people, he induced hallucinations, and he talked to the horrible demons that appeared to him. He asked them what they represented, and then embraced them as a part of him. Which is what your Corruption experience reminded me of.

 

You're way ahead of me on the coding front. I've worked with assembly, but only changing the values of what's already there. The most complicated thing that I can code with is Python.

 

But I'm sorry to hear about your cold. I hope you feel better soon.

"Some things have to be believed to be seen." - Ralph Hodgson

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Well, Jung wasn't just a psychologist. He was also a patient. He went through a long period where he started going really crazy. Rather than reacting like most people, he induced hallucinations, and he talked to the horrible demons that appeared to him. He asked them what they represented, and then embraced them as a part of him. Which is what your Corruption experience reminded me of.

 

You're way ahead of me on the coding front. I've worked with assembly, but only changing the values of what's already there. The most complicated thing that I can code with is Python.

 

But I'm sorry to hear about your cold. I hope you feel better soon.

 

Hmm... interesting information.

 

I feel better. And I have some time to write this post.

 

My programming skills aren't well developed. I can calculate simple thing, write something on the screen, retrieve data from the file and modify them (save something), generate some random characters, making a simple loops and and create simple conditions. So far, the most complex program I wrote was one that counts the number of lines and characters from a text file. And after that it passes through different conditions (most commonly associated with parity). I'm no expert in this field but I'm still learning.

 

Although I have developed C more than Java (in Java rather just know how to write a hello world. I forget a lot of things).

 

I heard that Python is a cool language. And it is more friendly for beginners than C. It have a very rich library base.

 

Cyfraza often asks me to code more. It's true that I spend too much time gaming (moded games give more fun. A good example of this are The sims 3 (without mods it is unplayable. Most of the mods is designed to repair never unrepaired developers's bugs) and Minecraft). But if I want to get a hacker's (n a sense, as an expert, master, genius, guru in some field (media screw it up :( )) perfection, I have to practice.

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