Make a new tulpa, or bring back an old one?
#1
So, about half a year ago, I began work on my first tulpa. I worked on her for quite a while, and got a few signs of sentience. I put a lot of effort in.

However, after about a month, a family crisis happened, and a close relative had a heart attack. My whole family was living in a 2 bedroom appartment that belonged to my relatives. To be honest, it was stressful as heck. I narrated about a lot of the crud going on in my life to my tulpa, and I was just generally angry. After all that was done, I was worried I'd projected too many negative emotions onto my tulpa, so I got rid of her. It's been about 3-4 months since I got rid of her, and I want to try making a tulpa again.

However, I'm worried about my previous tulpa. Will she still be a negative presence in my mind? Should I bring her back? Would she forgive me for getting rid of her and being so negative? I'm really not sure how to handle it. Thanks!
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#2
I'd attempt to bring her back. As long as you weren't malicious about getting rid of her the first time she'll probably forgive you.
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#3
Bring her back. She's still there.
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#4
For all you know, your tulpa could have been learning from those negative thoughts and emotions. How to control them, how to make you feel butter etc.. I understand you're worried that she may have picked up too many bad emotions and you don't want her subjected to that, but you simply can't let it bring you to leaving her for good.

She understands why you'd leave, and she'll understand why you came back if you choose to do so. I'm just telling you that worrying about something that might lead to something else is just useless worrying. Also, if you're still not convinced, there's still a whole life time ahead of you to give her positive emotions.
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#5
Quote:However, after about a month, a family crisis happened, and a close relative had a heart attack. My whole family was living in a 2 bedroom appartment that belonged to my relatives. To be honest, it was stressful as heck. I narrated about a lot of the crud going on in my life to my tulpa, and I was just generally angry. After all that was done, I was worried I'd projected too many negative emotions onto my tulpa, so I got rid of her. It's been about 3-4 months since I got rid of her, and I want to try making a tulpa again.

Call me crazy, but if that's the reaction you gave to your tulpa over something that wasn't his/her fault, then quite frankly, I dunno if you should be getting back into this period. I mean... stress happens dude. Stress, death, sorrow, as is life. You might not be able to control yourself a little sometimes, but they certainly shouldn't expect to be shot or punished over something that ultimately isn't their fault.

Venting to your tulpa is good because there's generally emotion in there, but not to the point that "if you talk about it you get so angry you want to get rid of her". If you're like this, don't even bother getting back into the practice.

But you aren't going to listen to someone like me, as it is with newer folk who only want to hear what they want to hear. Before I go on, why do you want a new tulpa now?

If you do for some reason find a reason (or are just like the countless other inevitable failures who just "do it for the heck of it") then why would you go on to make a new tulpa when you have the old one sitting in your head? Work on them and apologize for your otherwise shitty treatment of her. If you're sincere, then it's not like they will hate you for it. If anything, if you treat her right, they'll probably be glad to be back.

If you treat them right.
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#6
(01-01-2014, 03:38 PM)Moon Shooter Wrote: Call me crazy, but if that's the reaction you gave to your tulpa over something that wasn't his/her fault, then quite frankly, I dunno if you should be getting back into this period. I mean... stress happens dude. Stress, death, sorrow, as is life. You might not be able to control yourself a little sometimes, but they certainly shouldn't expect to be shot or punished over something that ultimately isn't their fault.

Venting to your tulpa is good because there's generally emotion in there, but not to the point that "if you talk about it you get so angry you want to get rid of her". If you're like this, don't even bother getting back into the practice.

But you aren't going to listen to someone like me, as it is with newer folk who only want to hear what they want to hear. Before I go on, why do you want a new tulpa now?

If you do for some reason find a reason (or are just like the countless other inevitable failures who just "do it for the heck of it") then why would you go on to make a new tulpa when you have the old one sitting in your head? Work on them and apologize for your otherwise shitty treatment of her. If you're sincere, then it's not like they will hate you for it. If anything, if you treat her right, they'll probably be glad to be back.

If you treat them right.

I don't mean I got angry directly at her, I just kind of talked on about how my life was at the time, and my life wasn't fantastic at that time. After a bit, I kind of freaked out and thought that because I was still only about a month or two in, it would impact her personality permanently. After spending some time researching, I don't think that's true anymore. However, my new concern is after her being ignored for so long, will she forgive me? According to you guys, yes.

The only reason I would make a new tulpa now was because I'm concerned that "permanent damage" to her personality is real, and that she won't forgive me. I would rather bring her back if you think that those things won't be an issue.
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#7
I really doubt you've done any permanent damage. Personalities adapt and change and people grow and change and a person isn't just stagnant. A tulpa isn't just a pile of traits you made while hopefully not in a bad mood. Life has ups and downs. YOU handled it. Have faith that she can handle it too--and if she needs support, you can be there for her.

I stopped forcing early on for much the same reasons. I regret it now, but what I learned from Jaden was that when he was back--he didn't want to dwell on the bad in regards to not forgiving me or anything like that. He didn't want me to keep being sorry--because he knew I was, obviously, we share a mind. Your tulpa can know your feelings in the same way you can feel theirs. When I came back to Jaden, he just wanted to move on. We had dealt with the bad, now it was time for the good. We made up for missed time.

Now she is a different person then Jaden is. Could she be mad? Maybe. Will she be mad forever? Not very likely. Could she be sad? Yeah maybe, etc etc. etc. But then is that a reason to necessarily keep her locked away like that? I don't know. Sometimes when we feel bad about something we just want to hide it away and not focus on it--ignore it away. But sometimes I think it's good to face things head on. She might be sad--or you might have a lot of work to do to bring her back--but then, after that, she is back, you have a second chance---she gets a second chance too. You can show her the things you never got to and she can get a chance to actually live.

Again I have to restate this--Your tulpa can often easily know your heart--when you really are sorry, when you aren't, when you tried your best. They might be disappointed they didn't get to do something they wanted to, but, when you know for a fact that the person didn't mean to break that promise, it's easier to forgive them then when you have that doubt that maybe they didn't really care. But again, I don't know. Your tulpa is a different person.

But no, I wouldn't be worried about permanent damage.

I would stop and take time to think for yourself about all this, like stated before. Make sure you're ready, make sure you know what you're getting into. Clear your own doubts and worries--ask all the questions you need to. Then think about what to do. You'll need to find your own answers.

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#8
Whenever there’s a person in conflict on setting a new beginning or starting where they left off, it’s more of them remembering the fundamentals and getting back into a reflective state of mind that can help them find the answers they’re looking for.

An approach you may want to consider next time is learning to be vicariously empathetic of both positions:
  • You
  • Your tulpa

Based on your circumstances, you seemed to have had reality take more precedence, especially when it comes to having a crisis like that. If I were in your position, excluding whatever set of competencies I built up after I was new into this, I would end up in a similar situation (though I may have discussed with Eva & Ada despite of their pre-sentience development in this hypothetical scenario).

Tulpas aren’t really entities that you just get rid of like throwing a dog out on a street and never seeing them again--their sustenance would be conceptual, not really physical. It’s really a matter of your mindset on whether or not you can start back where you left off and salvage whatever pre-existing memories you have of them, or something like:
  • Making a transformed version of the older one
  • Making a new one that still retains some of the self-schema of the previous one
  • Starting completely from scratch

Whatever route you decide to take, if you believe whatever it is you’re doing in being reflective about the existential aspects of making a tulpa, that belief will become so (i.e. self-fulfilling prophecy).

Even if your tulpa somehow ended up being bitter/spiteful/insecure/etc. about how you wanted to get them out of your memory and perception, think about it for a moment.

With any implication of a sentient being that may also be able to be just as capable of being vicariously empathetic as you can be, they would be reflective and evaluate the circumstances you were in. It’s just a basic cognitive ability for an entity that’s implied to have those qualities to independently rationalize and justify the circumstances. They would be able to reign in their egos and see things in a new light and forgive you without harboring behaviors of resentment.

Even though it’s good that you wanted responses from others, this specific question on people wondering what to do after going into a hiatus or something overwhelming came up can be resolved if you become vicarious and heavily consider the probabilities on how your tulpa would react.


Semi-TL;DR:


If you feel guilty about previous events that made creating a tulpa difficult for you, consider the circumstances you were in and use that retrospect to be reflective on how you can approach your tulpa now. Consider as many probabilities on how your tulpa may reach, and just be honest with them.

And if you believe like most of the people in this community would subscribe to as tulpa as sentient beings, try to be vicarious of the tulpa’s position. Think of things like:
  • How would I communicate with him if he wanted to throw me away?
  • Maybe his brief wave of negative emotions based on the circumstances was too overwhelming for him?
  • Even if I were to show resentment, maybe I should consider the fact that if he still continued with contributing towards my development, I would want him to be in his best state of mind beforehand?
  • And maybe he’s being way too hard on himself, what can I do to console him?

If you can formulate hypothetical situations, use retrospect, weigh the circumstances, justify how emotions can get the better of you at times in terms of degrading perseverance, you’ll be in a better position to find a myriad of approaches to communicate with a tulpa that was believed to be left and gone for good.

Don’t take for granted of your ability to start from the fundamentals of what you believe a tulpa is and working yourself up from there. Give yourself some time for introspection next time and you never know what your mind may give to help you out.


TL;DR

Take people's suggestions on this thread with a grain of salt. Because you're bound to have people smearing their moralities on you in an opinionated matter. Because right now you seem to be going left and right with "okay, I'll do that if you think it may lead to this..."

Focus more on what your fundamentals on tulpas are, use your cognitive ability to be self-reflective and use retrospect, introspect, and such to create contingency plans on approaching your tulpa. And even if the worst case scenario happened, the tulpa would have to take into consideration of your circumstances if you have the initial mindset that they would be sentient beings that can be vicarious of your position with the family crisis. They're not here to self-sabotage unless you truly believe and are willing to behave consistently with that belief, so compromise is inevitable for the sake of sustaining rapport.
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#9
A simple thing to consider: It will take you about three seconds to say "Good Morning!", each day. That's not much and it is hugely helpful. If you are really worried just teach your tulpa compassion. Compassion is learned. If you don't know what it is (some don't) look it up - it is having some empathy for another person's pain.

Be well.
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