Jump to content

An Inquiry of Understanding My Tulpae


Aerkyn

Recommended Posts

I need to understand a few things about my Tulpae, and I am having increasing difficulty classifying exactly what sort of thoughtform they fall under.

 

The sorts of traits that are displayed are as follows:

 

1. I hear then constantly in my mind. This has happened for quite the amount of time.

 

2. They are all characters of my novel, not counting a few that were inspirational and literally began to identify themselves almost as though they'd been there the whole time.

 

3. My Tulpae are representatives of pieces of thought and emotion that ultimately form the basis of a lot of unhinged thinking patterns (aka one is very justice-y while another is self-depreciating, etc.)

 

4. Because of how I write, their memories within That wonderland are constrained to only what I interact with them about and what happens in the narrative.

 

5. The reality of their existence inside my mind does not mesh with the narrative in any way whatsoever.

 

6. I am prone to, in times of great stress, prone to a baton pass (which I believe is switching on here) (yes I am new), and often I do not go to the wonderland but instead remain over their shoulder, either prepared to pull then back or just completely unable to die to my anxiety.

 

 

 

... Can ANYONE explain this?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hmm, instead of one tulpa you could have created a world/tulpa to interact with on the same level. Any one else? Get Linkzelda in here to extrapolate on this idea.

I don't like calling her 'my' tulpa, I don't own her. She is the tulpa that lives with me in our body.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1. I hear then constantly in my mind. This has happened for quite the amount of time.

Vocality is one goal of the process and is pretty typical of any tulpa.

 

2. They are all characters of my novel, not counting a few that were inspirational and literally began to identify themselves almost as though they'd been there the whole time.

 

4. Because of how I write, their memories within That wonderland are constrained to only what I interact with them about and what happens in the narrative.

 

5. The reality of their existence inside my mind does not mesh with the narrative in any way whatsoever.

It seems to me that your tulpae were more of an accidental result of your writing rather than anything else. When done purposefully, most people allow a wide range of deviation and freedom for their tulpa(e) to change, see their memories and whatnot. That it was accidental and you probably did not allow deviation consciously is consistent with this, given they seem somewhat constrained by your novel. For 2 I would also say that self identity is the result of a tulpa achieving some level of sentience and is quite common. Some tulpae will also fabricate stories about how they came into existence, but that probably is due to them not being told otherwise. I know I made it clear early in the creation process to avoid any confusion, but since yours is accidental it makes sense.

 

3. My Tulpae are representatives of pieces of thought and emotion that ultimately form the basis of a lot of unhinged thinking patterns (aka one is very justice-y while another is self-depreciating, etc.)

This seems more consistent with a basic thoughtform more than a tulpa. Tulpa tend to develop their own character and personality rather than stay constrained to being a representative of a piece of thought or emotion. In this case it seems they are a little more simplistic and their personality is a little more limited, but that is just what it seems like from this.

 

6. I am prone to, in times of great stress, prone to a baton pass (which I believe is switching on here) (yes I am new), and often I do not go to the wonderland but instead remain over their shoulder, either prepared to pull then back or just completely unable to die to my anxiety.

I am not familiar with switching so I really can't help you here. However, maybe you could clarify a little. Do they surface and become the dominant personality or is it more like possession/switching? By the latter I mean do they control body movement, speech, etc. and you are just a bystander? Finally, when they do this do they identify as you or as them, separate from you?

 

Hopefully this helps clear up things a little, but if you are looking for exactly how or why this occurs its a bit more complicated. However, you eventually encounter the realm of theory and at that point it is anyone's guess.

Unless you believe, you shall not understand.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Alright, so on the parts that needed to be clarified, I will try to elaborate.

 

Emotional/Personalogical roles:

Usually they manifest themselves in those events in which that emotion is felt, sometimes visually but mostly just auditory. I've already understood how common it is for writers to hear and speak to their characters.

 

Of course, since my wonderland (at least one of them) is the site of my novel, a lot of their history is involved with that place. One of them, Baldwyn, has talked of a family that he had to leave because of how much pain had been dealt there. He is severely traumatized by the actions that have led up to so much anger.

 

For some reason, I have to find the names of the emotional core of it (not just the name of the character themselves). It is sort of like a true name in spirituality.

 

Baldwyn is 'Zetsu', as in Zetsubou (Despair). He certainly doesn't act full of despair all the time- in fact, he lashes at the others (okay, one in particular) in order to cope with the frustration of so much loss.

 

 

Dominant Personality/Switching/Possession:

 

To me, when this happens, it feels like a flood of emotion and their voice is completely encompassing, and I begin to speak what they are saying. I honestly do not feel like myself and so when they become that personality they prefer (from what is currently being explained via Mikáel) to use their own names.

 

The most common feeling is that in which I begin to get very VERY sad. I'll begin getting this achig feeling in my chest and my throat will hurt, and suddenly I don't feel like me- I'm clearly different because I'm missing key traits of myself.

 

Of course, due to memory closeness some of them have been able to keep tabs on the situation and simply continue whatever mundane task at hand.

 

For example, so long as Mikáel keeps his mouth shut he can continue to do whatever is going on. This is mostly because, well, he speaks with a noticeable accent.

 

So I guess your answer is that it is more like beig stuck sitting behind their shoulder, watching.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...
1. I hear then constantly in my mind. This has happened for quite the amount of time.
I hear Fes all the time. I started out strong and then got a little lazy, and things stagnated. Now if I wake up, I may or may not hear something from her without calling up anything. She speaks to me a lot of the time, some warranted and others unwarranted. The most important thing to remember is that with making a tulpa, we are training ourselves to hear that which we don't hear, right? Constantly pressuring our head to make sense of static and telling it that there are patterns that pop out of it. Then we hear our tulpae and our heads just tell us that this is how it's supposed to be, and trains the channel we use a little more every day. With this much use, it's no surprise that you'd hear them a lot of the time.

 

Think about training for a marathon. After some time, some people get spasms in the muscles they have to work every day. The same applies to the brain. My guess is that you hearing them is just the clarity that comes with an open channel where something was once closed.

 

2. They are all characters of my novel, not counting a few that were inspirational and literally began to identify themselves almost as though they'd been there the whole time.
There are studies done on this, saying that some writers tend to believe that some characters have minds of their own, and can rebel against what's going on in a bid for freedom. If characters come to life, that looks a lot like a tulpa sort of deal, doesn't it? Some authors put so much heart into a character that they begin to have responses to things they were asked in real life, because it's the sort of passion that makes a novel great. Having a character that feels human is something that attaches readers to them, and with a character human enough to think for their own purposes and hang around the author...it looks to me like that's a tulpa.

 

3. My Tulpae are representatives of pieces of thought and emotion that ultimately form the basis of a lot of unhinged thinking patterns (aka one is very justice-y while another is self-depreciating, etc.)
I made my tulpa, Fespera, on the concept that I would be able to hate her. I began tulpaforcing because I wanted a doll to hate that would contain all of the things I hated about myself, and I ended up getting something different. She still has a one track mind, but that's because I never challenge her. Think about friends you have. Some of them are party people, others want to stay at home and read. Some of them are massive nerds, others are ladies' men and coquettes. When you boil it down to only one trait, you can pick something out that generalizes them, but you know there's more to them than that because they get tested every day. Your tulpae don't have a lot of that personal growth because they see what you see and represent the facets of you that you put into them. If there was really a chance for them to go out and experience the world and come back to you, maybe 3 years later, you might notice that they seem a lot more worldly and well-rounded because they had to experience the world in a way that tested their worth. If one is justice-y, what happens when there are two crimes happening simultaneously and they can only get to one in time? If one is self depreciating, what happens when someone starts to like what they do? Someone they trust to tell the truth vs. someone they know would do and say anything to make them feel better about it?

 

4. Because of how I write, their memories within That wonderland are constrained to only what I interact with them about and what happens in the narrative.
Again, characters jump out. Perhaps you're using the writing as a medium of communication and forcing, and that's perfectly fine; just understand that there will be times where they might tap into your conscious and learn things that you didn't write, because that's personal growth for a tulpa.

 

5. The reality of their existence inside my mind does not mesh with the narrative in any way whatsoever.
So you're saying that just because they're tulpae doesn't mean you wrote them that way? Characters come alive inside, I guess. I don't know what to say about that point, so here's a picture of a puppy. Sorry.

 

6. I am prone to, in times of great stress, prone to a baton pass (which I believe is switching on here) (yes I am new), and often I do not go to the wonderland but instead remain over their shoulder, either prepared to pull then back or just completely unable to die to my anxiety.
Never done switching. I prefer to have Fes watch over me and let me know what I'm doing wrong from a different point of view, so I don't really have much experience here. If that's what you're getting at...
Note that he doesn't even really switch, just places himself in their shoes for unpredictability. If you're saying that switching has you missing key features and that as long as they stay focused they can continue, then I have no other words on the matter. I know too little about it.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...