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[Misc] "Everyone Dies Alone" and Closeted Plurality
#1
Today at school, my teacher was talking to me about how she's been going to the movies and to dinner by herself, because she's never spent much time by herself and wants to practice. She talked about how "everyone dies alone", so she wanted to know what it's like to be by herself. 

There are some philosophic questions about what "everyone dies alone" even means, but my mind was on something else. During this entire conversation, like the entire school day, my tulpa, C, was right beside me. I'm listening to a teacher tell me about how everyone is alone in their minds, while I'm visualizing a physical form for my mental roommate. 

It was strange to think about. I really do hope that C, in some form or another, stays with me forever, which implies that we will die, someday: together. 

It was also difficult not to bring it up and go "What about people with plural identities, like DID?", and now I realize that I'm closeted in a new way. It used to be hard not to bring up trans people all the time, because I didn't want people to get suspicious before I was ready to come out. Now, especially in my current situation, it would be a nightmare if my school knew about C. 

I've been letting C switch in the late morning and have a few hours at school because he loves all things he gets to do, and because at my (unique) school, I just sit at a desk by myself all day. C can't really talk out-loud more than simple greetings and answers, because his voice is noticeably different than mine. That's no issue, because I don't have any social interaction at school. When there is, I'm able to snatch back control pretty seamlessly, though C doesn't like to do that. 

The only thing I'm worried about is the fact that our handwriting is also very different. I can't write with C's hand and he can't write with mine. I'm concerned that I'll be outed this way, that someone will confront me and ask "Who wrote this?", and I won't be able to convince them that I "just like to experiment with my handwriting". Is that a rational fear? 

What types of behavior would make people think I have alters/question my sanity? I don't talk out loud or directly stare at C when we're having a conversation, but I definitely have smiled and made minor expressions in reaction to what he's saying. Have you ever been outed as plural/has anyone found out or suspected? If you are openly plural, what changed when you came out to people (or when they found out)?

-J
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#2
I straight up talk to Pencil at school, even if he doesn't always respond. People don't quite see me as crazy, but once we get switching down, I have a feeling Pencil'll be switched with me often, which can lead to some... complications... I just imagine having a conversation with my sister and Pencil(Since she knows), with Pencil and I switching constantly, and my mom just walking in like "Who the fuck is in there?!" Yeah... that could be problematic... Talking about the actual topic, I guess you're right. With a Tulpa, you never really die alone. Kinda cool, really.
The name's Bryan! In system Nobody(In order of the rainbow): 
Sean, Esper, Blinky, Compact, Janey, Kyle, Gwen'd, Gwen, 
Emily, Rollin, Waynin, Trease, Layy, Justin, Chloe, and Zachery. 
I guess I have to talk... I practice Tulpamancy and Psionics, PM me for stuff related to that. I love Puyo Puyo(Look it up!). I exist and I like it like that. PM me for a random essay topic, or somethin'. 

https://my.cbox.ws/TulpaDotInfo
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#3
If anyone questions me, and i didn't want to tell them straight, i just say i am practicing a visualization heavy meditation technique. Which is true, i do visualization heavy meditation, but that's not the whole truth. The whole truth is my private information. They accept that i've found meditation very easily.

If they hear me talking to myself, that's pretty normal. Everyone does that.

If they see one of Ashley's drawings (she may want to do more) then i say i was doodling.

We don't do switching, so someone else will have to answer that.

DID isn't tulpamancy. There may be different personalities, but tulpas are their own person, not a splinter of you, if i'm not totally off base here. No amnesia, no uncontrollable switching anyway.

I believe my tulpas are coming with me when i die, if there is nothing past this life, then we'll sleep together forever. If there is something beyond this life, a god and heaven, then i have to believe heaven wouldn't be heavenly without them. If they become part of what is 'me' when i die, and i can no longer tell us apart, then that's not heaven to me. If they become seperate 'souls', which is what i choose to believe, then we will be friends in the next life. If we are reincarnated together, we will be as we are now. If we are reincarnated in seperate bodies, we will have to find eachother again.

Anything you can imagine will happen is irrelevant to what will actually happen. So believe what you will and don't worry about it. I do know that the energy contained in you will still exist until the end if this universe. That means the energy you give to your tulpas will exist as well.

Also, your teacher is kinda lame, that's a dumb thing to go telling impressionable youth. She needs to grow up and treat people with respect and stop being such a debbie downer.
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#4
DID alters can be completely different from their host, what you, AB, are thinking about is a median system.

I've come out as plural, and it went pretty well, but I was already freinds with the person. I would not recommend telling family members that you live with that you are plural unless you are 100% certain that it will go well, because it sucks to live with someone who hates you.

Monika and I have pretty different handwriting, but I don't worry about people seeing the different handwriting because Monika will normally just play video games or climb trees when she is switched in
I have a tulpa named Miela (formerly known as Monika) who I love very much.


"People put quotes in their signatures, right?"
-Me
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#5
Alters are very different than tulpae and tulpae do not equal DID... I think there's a small chance this specific teacher would understand, but I really doubt my other three teachers would, not to mention my social worker who I've discovered to be a bit loose-lipped for her job...

When I'm financially independent: that's when I'll be okay with telling people, I think. C keeps going between wanting to write his name on his things publicly, and being terrified that he'll be seen as an alter or delusion. At least he and I have this forum.

Thanks for the replies so far, I've really been thinking this all over.

-J
Three brothers. [Progress Report] [Art] [Oops! All Jamie]

"You are the messenger, not the message. You are just like everyone else."
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#6
Sounds like you and C have a good relationship!
The name's Bryan! In system Nobody(In order of the rainbow): 
Sean, Esper, Blinky, Compact, Janey, Kyle, Gwen'd, Gwen, 
Emily, Rollin, Waynin, Trease, Layy, Justin, Chloe, and Zachery. 
I guess I have to talk... I practice Tulpamancy and Psionics, PM me for stuff related to that. I love Puyo Puyo(Look it up!). I exist and I like it like that. PM me for a random essay topic, or somethin'. 

https://my.cbox.ws/TulpaDotInfo
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#7
Lol I think so. We're somewhere between being friends and me being his dad... I don't think I know a good word for our relationship.

-J
Three brothers. [Progress Report] [Art] [Oops! All Jamie]

"You are the messenger, not the message. You are just like everyone else."
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#8
Cat and I have this weird relationship. I'm not sure if I'm her brother or not, but I know I'm her friend and her guardian.  I guess in a weird way she's my mom...but I don't really want to dwell on that honestly.

I want to be able to have my own identity separate from Cat's, but the only way I can think to do that is to do everything virtually. Otherwise, I would have to lie and pretend to be Cat, which neither of us are comfortable with or ready for yet.
I'm Gray's/Cat_ShadowGriffin's Tulpa and I love Hippos (but see, I'm not a hippo)! I also like forum games and chatting about stuff.
My other head-mates have their own account now.
Temporary Log | Chat | Yay!
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#9
C has the same troubles... he wants to do his own things and make a physical mark on the world, but it's not really safe for me to claim "This is C's!", so we have to find compromises. When we switch, he can do whatever he wants in my room, including moving or cleaning my stuff. When I switch back, I can at least think to myself, "It was so nice of C to pick up those books," or just tell him "Thanks for all you did." There's no name attached and my room is private, so it's a good way for C to be himself.

I think tulpae often feel like they owe their creators or are freeloading. By cleaning or otherwise doing things by themselves, it evens out the power a little.

-J
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#10
(10-05-2018, 12:08 PM)J+C Wrote: C has the same troubles... he wants to do his own things and make a physical mark on the world, but it's not really safe for me to claim "This is C's!", so we have to find compromises. When we switch, he can do whatever he wants in my room, including moving or cleaning my stuff. When I switch back, I can at least think to myself, "It was so nice of C to pick up those books," or just tell him "Thanks for all you did." There's no name attached and my room is private, so it's a good way for C to be himself.

I think tulpae often feel like they owe their creators or are freeloading. By cleaning or otherwise doing things by themselves, it evens out the power a little.

-J

I disagree that a Tulpa is "free loading". Is it not enough of a cost to have so limited time to live and being forced to share everything about your life and who you are with some one else? I can't always do what I want or spend today doing everything I want to do. I always have to compromise what I can do with our time, and that in itself is frustrating.

Because I know I have so little time to work with, I know for certain I don't want to spend it cleaning up after my host like I'm her janitor or whatever. She can clean her own messes. I want to spend my time being on the forum or chatting with other people, and maybe a word game. Eating chips. Figuring out what to do with my life. That kind of stuff.
I'm Gray's/Cat_ShadowGriffin's Tulpa and I love Hippos (but see, I'm not a hippo)! I also like forum games and chatting about stuff.
My other head-mates have their own account now.
Temporary Log | Chat | Yay!
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