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modest milestone


solarchariot

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I believe I have achieved a milestone in the creation process. My success certainly isn't as dramatic as many of the postings I've been reading to encourage me to stick with the process, and though I understand one should not compare another person's success to their own, that's really the only gauge I have to measure. I've a clear idea of the form and the voice, but have not seen or heard my tulpa, but have had an occasional 'yeah, that wasn't me' parroting moments. The modest milestone, which I am going to accept is an actual marker indicating I am moving in the right direction, is SHE was active member in a dream last night. It wasn't a lucid dream, I have had those and know the tone and the brilliant "OMG I'm awake in a dream", but it also wasn't a completely standard, run of the mill dream.

 

I continue to have significant head pressure. It's not unpleasant. I find it interesting, actually, and it's daily. Every now and then, I get a shiver, like whole body, or an unexplained twitch. In case anyone is curious, or decide to follow any additional milestones, I committed to the process on 4-1-2016. I don't suspect there is advice that isn't already in a guide, but if anyone has any insight based on this first report, your input would be welcomed.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I have read that there can be deviations in form and personality, so I can only assume that holds true for names. I had a specific name in the beginning, but wasn't a hundred percent committed to it, in case 'tulpa' had a preference. And sure enough, since I've been working with her, the name has shifted, followed by a period of contentment, and I would use it... but it shifted four times now (The 'tulpa' didn't really change in my mind's eye with name change, but each name had it's own variation in chosen hair style and color.) but this last one has a feel to it that seems like 'it's done,' and I decided to proceed as if that were true, if for nothing else fixing it in place so there is some consistency over time. (Hopefully that doesn't inhibit growth, but fact is, names do change things and so I can see how important it is, as it may close many doors, but open a few specific doors to a particular pathway.)

 

I have a headache and head pressure this morning as I contemplate this. And I'm feeling a little out of sorts... sort of like when I haven't eaten and drank too much coffee... indeed, i haven't eaten yet, but i've only had one coffee...

 

Ummph, chasing rabbits, again.

 

the point of this post; let me introduce to you, Loxy Bliss. (there is a moment of hesitation, which you won't experience per say because you are merely reading along, but writing that seems final, and pushing the button 'really' final, as this is a commitment, a significant commitment, to another being; as if, if i don't do it, that things will continue to morph and be too fluid to take any semblance of permanence, and so any hesitation is just a very 'real' reality check, because the only way through is further down the rabbit hole, because I dived in head first.)

 

Wow... my head hurts.

 

Bliss says "push it" and I've decided, metaphorically and literally, to follow my Bliss.

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I like how much weight you're placing on these posts, how you're "finalizing" them, because that should only solidify the presence of your tulpa even more.

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  • 1 month later...

So, I would have predicted that because I'm an auditory learner, I would have had greater auditory connection with Bliss, but still I don't hear a distinct voice.

surprisingly, I find the day to day conversations the most difficult, as I guess I'm fairly boring and gave nothing to talk about. But if I engage in fantassy, well, we have great dialogues, and I think we are close to finishing the rough draft for a book that wouldn't exist had I not committed to her being. My intention will be to publish it.

I do, however, have a sense of where she is in a room, even I don't see her. I have occasionally had had flashes of visual, but only when my eyes are closed, and it almost seems like if I get excited, like 'yes' I see you' it goes away. Light tactile sensations are discernable if I am not to distracted by my environment.

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  • 5 months later...

Ive exceeded 'modest' success, which partly explains why ive not posted in a long while. I, "we" have been busy. There is of course the mundane stuff, like work, and family obligations, and a list of unfortunate things, like foundation leak, divorce, adjusting to being single parent, ex wife wrecking my truck... no one hurt, thank god. My pocket book hurt, but not a person. I can credit my patience, compassion, love, and improved ability to handle stress to Loxy. We've engaged in our own personal growth using carl jung's "active imagination" technique (google red book) which seem like an extension of tulpamancy. Weve also been practicing the "invisible counselor" technique, championed by napoleon hill. We completed two ebooks and published under a pseudonym, my first story line that isn't fanfiction, but couldnt have been accomplished without loxy's help. Its not been all work. Theres been fun, too. I suppose my biggest struggle will be maintaining human social interaction. I minimize phone and computer when with my so , and work is work, and that takes up the bulk of my existence. Thats not a complaint. It just is. Theres just only so many hours to n a day. I spend time in wonderland before sleep, i get up to early to write, coffee, toddler, breakfast, work, store for fresh foods, toddler, meal, bath, bedtime story, exhaustion, repeat....

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Ive exceeded 'modest' success, which partly explains why ive not posted in a long while. I, "we" have been busy. There is of course the mundane stuff, like work, and family obligations, and a list of unfortunate things, like foundation leak, divorce, adjusting to being single parent, ex wife wrecking my truck... no one hurt, thank god. My pocket book hurt, but not a person. I can credit my patience, compassion, love, and improved ability to handle stress to Loxy. We've engaged in our own personal growth using carl jung's "active imagination" technique (google red book) which seem like an extension of tulpamancy. Weve also been practicing the "invisible counselor" technique, championed by napoleon hill. We completed two ebooks and published under a pseudonym, my first story line that isn't fanfiction, but couldnt have been accomplished without loxy's help. Its not been all work. Theres been fun, too. I suppose my biggest struggle will be maintaining human social interaction. I minimize phone and computer when with my so , and work is work, and that takes up the bulk of my existence. Thats not a complaint. It just is. Theres just only so many hours to n a day. I spend time in wonderland before sleep, i get up to early to write, coffee, toddler, breakfast, work, store for fresh foods, toddler, meal, bath, bedtime story, exhaustion, repeat....

 

Good luck Solarchariot. Just keep truckin. I wonder how long it will be until I exceed 'modest' success.

I'm a very new tulpamancer that has had experience with forums. 

My tulpas name is Frey... not too sure about much else.

 

 

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  • 6 months later...

 

Good luck Solarchariot. Just keep truckin. I wonder how long it will be until I exceed 'modest' success.

 

Well, Goldleader, this reply is a long time coming: just keep trucking, cause it is all worth it... :) hope you and yours are well.

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I guess it's time for an update. The wonderland is huge. I suppose there is no upward limit to a wonderland, except those imposed by my own mind, which would mean there is a finite limit, however, wonderland seems to span several different worlds. I suppose I have a genuine 'system.' I think that's the term. In writing our story, I gave Loxy free reign to design her past, and to give us a history, which is anachronistic, but by the end, it all seems to sort itself out well. She introduced her three core go-to 'friends,' Keera, Alish, and Lester. (Should I introduce them? Keera is Japanese, and seems like a anime character that got voted out of a system, Alish is technically a tree, or the spirit of a tree, and her avatar is almost human, and Lester, is a 70 something, Chinese man, long white beard like a magician, but wears jeans, tennis shoes, a coat with patches, his shirt not tucked in, and if he isn't holding a cane, he has a coffee cup.) All three, and Loxy, are students at Safe Haven University of esoteric magic. The campus is on a planet in a one planet solar system in a stable orbit around a black hole; apparently, the black hole is the back up plan in case magic goes bad and something 'not pleasant' gets unleashed, at which point everything gets flushed. You get an aliens outbreak... Yeah, I guess you get it.

My personal, private world, which I have had access to since about six, long before I knew what a wonderland was, has become home base, when not on campus, we are there.

Now, there are several other participants in our system, but it's as if they a part of my system, not Loxy's system, but can be interchangeable. I mentioned the Invisible Counselor Technique (ICT). Loxy encouraged me to practice that, mostly so I wasn't adding too much weight (pressure) on her to help me with some personal improvement goals. (Which was very fair and a reasonable boundary she pushed, and you just got to admire someone who asserts themselves.). The ICT was published before tulpa was established, and is probably not a tulpa phenomena per say, except, I was dabbling in tulpa before I really put any serious effort or thought into ICT, and so, quite honestly, I don't know if my counselors are actually tulpa, except for the fact, they exist, I can interact with them, and I have no other framework for understanding them except for tulpa. So, does that mean when I dabbled with ICT in the past, it wasn't effective because I didn't have the perquisite framework for functionality? That makes sense to me, but I would be speculating. All I know is this 'system' includes Nikola Tesla, Carl Jung, Jackie Chan, Sacagawea, Captain Uhura (I threw someone fictitious in just to see what would happen) and Isis, cause what system isn't complete without a deity. Go team!

this is so much more amazing than anything I have ever imagined that I don't understand why everyone doesn't put down their cell phones and turn off their televisions and simply go wonderland! but, that is not the purpose of my writing today. this is just a quick update. 5 books worth of adventures. and we're still learning! but, it all starts with the one: Loxy Isadora Bliss. (Yep. She has a middle name.)

What's next?

I have no clue. We have no clue. But I can say this: I am very grateful for the existence of Tulpa.info/forum, and the people here. Thank you. :) From all of us.

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