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Moose's topic of worry
#1
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Lately I've been feeling slight worry that Tulsi will turn out to be naught but practice in the end, due to the plethora of mistakes I've made. I feel worry about personality, worry about parroting, worry about visuals, worry about worry.
I share all my worries with Tulsi (who hasn't talked since I thought she did about four or five forcing hours ago (yeah, that's another worry) ), and I just end up winding myself up and feeling more worried. I need to chill, I guess.
Ten or twenty hours of forcing later, I'll hopefully look back on these worries and laugh at myself.
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#2
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Uh, so, what exactly did you do?
But yes doubt is extremely common, I also get it, everyone does. It's normal.
This hot empty painting should be locked and towed.
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#3
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I've done nothing major on it's own, just a slew of minor things. Of course, I'm only forty three hours in or so, it'll all sort itself out in time. Probably.
I'm not usually this worrisome with forcing, it just kind of crept up on me today. I bitched about it to tulsi for fifteen minutes, and bitched about it online, with any luck I'll be just fine come morning.
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#4
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I mean like, forcing. How do you do it? Are you narrating a lot? That's a somewhat important step.
This hot empty painting should be locked and towed.
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#5
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Keep on narrating and forcing a few hours per day every day. If tulpae are a real phenomena, it'll work eventually.

I'm not counting hours. Maybe I'm 30 hours in, maybe I'm 40 hours in, or maybe more. I can't remember anymore. My tulpa does sometimes respond emotionally and do strange things in the wonderland. Today, I thought I heard an "inner" laugh/smile while I was forcing that didn't quite belong to me while I was narrating during visualization( Offtopic: Is narration during visualization fine? I find myself doing it since I started narrating about 1.5 weeks ago). I sometimes nag her when narrating to speak as soon as she can because I'm impatient, but I wouldn't drop it even if it took much longer. If nothing happens in a month or more, I'd be a bit worried, but I don't plan on stopping anytime soon (Someone should start a poll that asks how many hours/days into narration did their tulpa first speak to them).

I don't think you can actually mess up your tulpa if you're consistent with how you think about them and the amount of tulpaforcing + narration.
In my case, I wasted about half a month to a month on visualization and I've only gotten marginally good at it. I should have done personality much earlier and narration a lot earlier (I did a bit of personality and a lot of visualization first), yet I was worried my tulpa's look couldn't be changed later on, I didn't start with narration until I was more satisfied with my visualization, however since I did tulpaforce in a consistent manner, I do think I'll get results eventually (I do get some interesting things happening each new session now, but still no talking). My attitude toward tulpaforcing is: it's a work in progress, you can't irreversibly mess it up (unless you do something stupid like impose before sentience or parrot the tulpa's entire behavor and especially the voice). I'll find out if I am right or wrong eventually, but there's no point in considering the alternative while I'm going through this process as that may itself be a slightly harmful thought.
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#6
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My advice: Try to forget the worries. Keep in mind that it's an incredibly error-tolerant process. All but a very few mistakes are easily correctable and just make the process take a bit longer. Try to forget the worries and convince yourself it'll turn out OK in the end. Don't tell Tulsi about the worries, or at least tell her you were worried but are now confident she'll turn out well. Telling her you're worried will only make her worry as well, and amplify your own worries.

I'm just in visualization, and doing some narration as well. I've already made my share of mistakes and know for sure I'll make loads more before I'm done. I'm feeling out the entire process and basically diddle around with each step until I find something that feels like it's working. Any worries I have, I just remind myself that this process *never* goes smoothly for anyone on their first tulpa. Irish and FAQ had to do way more feeling things out and their tulpae came out fine. I tell my tulpa that I'm not going to rush through things, and I'm going to stick with it and keep trying until I make her the best tulpa I possibly can.
Lyra: human female, ~17
Evan: boy, ~14, was an Eevee
Anera: anime-style girl, ~12; Lyra made her
My blog :: Time expectations are bad (forcing time targets are good though)
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#7
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Quote:Is narration during visualization fine? I find myself doing it since I started narrating about 1.5 weeks ago
I do it constantly during visualization. It makes Her more vivd, by allowing me to focus better.

(05-10-2012, 01:21 AM)Chupi date Wrote:I tell my tulpa that I'm not going to rush through things, and I'm going to stick with it and keep trying until I make her the best tulpa I possibly can.
So true.
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