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My experimental tulpa
#1
After doubting a lot, I finally decided to try creating a tulpa. As I said in the introduction thread, I want my tulpa to be a girl of about 15-18 years old. Not for sexual or romantic reasons, but as a companion and a representation of my more feminine, childish and innocent part. It may sound kinda gay but meh. For now, I'm taking it as a kind of experiment.

Ok, day one.

I'm having trouble concentrating. I'm a nervous person and I find it difficult to center my attention in a sole thing for a long time, plus I live in a noisy place and I have little privacy (my sister enters my room every now and then without permission).

I think I'll be passive forcing most of the time.

I thought it was a good idea working on a wonderland before starting with my tulpa. But then I realised I'm very bad at imagining places.

I tried with a landscape but it was almost imposible for me, so I tried with something easier, a simple room with simple furniture. And that was really hard too.

When I was imagining the room, I saw it like if I was in a videogame like The Sims and I couldn't imagine myself being there in first person.

So now my wonderland is an empty space. Like a big white box. Maybe I'll add something later or let my tulpa decorate it as she wants.

Then I started creating my tulpa's form. I wanted her to be as realistic as posible but I couldn't avoid imagining her in an anime-ish style, especially her face.

I guess I'll need more concentration and a lot of work with details.

Maybe I'll work on her personality first.

I don't know if I should start narrating until I've finished with her form and personality.

Also, I feel like I'm involuntarily narrating. I don't know how to describe it... Sometimes I feel like she can "listen" my thoughts even if I'm not talking directly to her. Like if she could read my mind or something. Is this posible?

And another question I have. Can she see something? What does she see? Can she see what I'm seeing through my eyes?

Hmm... I think I should give her a name.
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#2
~update~

I spent more time visualizing. Now I can see her form better. She changed a little since I started creating her, but I don't know if it was because of deviation or if I did it myself unconsciously. Her hair has changed its color and her clothes are different. She also looks a bit older. I think I felt head pressure for a moment.

I also started giving her some personality traits.

Then I started narrating. Sometimes I feel like I'm talking to myself and she can't hear me, but I keep trying anyway.

I thought that Amanda would be a good name, so that's what I'm calling her for the moment.
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#3
Keep it up, I'm following this thread.
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#4
Thanks, Yori. I'll do my best.

~little update~

I worked more on visualization and personality and I'm narrating as much as I can.

I also imagined three doors in my wonderland: Memory, Thoughts and Subconscious and told Amanda not to look what's inside for now.

I think I fell asleep while forcing... I have read in some guides that this can be bad but others say it's ok, so I don't know if I should be worried about it.

I will really appreciate it if someone answers some of my questions.
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#5
It's the general consensus that the belief of "going to sleep while forcing could harm a tulpa" is outdated and harmless. Of course, given the nature of the tulpa creation process, nothing is concrete; but I feel it important to mention that belief plays a big part in this. If you believe falling asleep in the middle of forcing is harmful, it will be; if you don't, it won't.

All things considered, you're fine and I wouldn't worry about falling asleep while forcing. That doesn't stop it from being rude though. :P
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#6
Day two.

Today I've been busy and I couldn't work on forcing as much as I would have liked to. I've been narrating a little but I wasn't really concentrated on it. Tomorrow I'll be alone most of the day, so I'll be able to compensate it.

Also, a sofa has appeared on my wonderland. I don't know if Amanda put it there or if I did it unconsciously.

I started puppeting a little while visualising so I can see her in movement.

(09-02-2014, 04:14 PM)Seafood Medley Wrote: All things considered, you're fine and I wouldn't worry about falling asleep while forcing. That doesn't stop it from being rude though. :P

This morning I've been reading about falling asleep while forcing and I have come to the conclusion that it isn't bad, so I'm no longer worried about it. Thanks for replying anyway. I already told Amanda I'm sorry. Smile
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#7
~update~

Something awesome happened. I was listening to classical music while visualizing Amanda. I wanted to show her some of my favorite pieces.

Then The Marriage of Figaro started playing and I suddenly started feeling super happy. I asked Amanda "do you like it?" and then I felt even happier. I started smiling and couldn't stop until the song had almost finished.

Was it Amanda transmitting her feeling of happiness?
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#8
Yes, that was most likely Amanda. Early on, Sarah shared emotions with me in a similar way because of music.
Host: Sakura
Tulpa: Sarah (began June 5th, 2014), Alyx (Began July 23rd, 2014)
Our shared tumblr
note: usually browsing on mobile, so cannot quote properly
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#9
Wait, so a sofa appeared in your wonderland on the second day? I have trouble visualizing like you said you did but now I'm confused. Did you get better at visualizing? Or does it still feel fuzzy or removed? For me it still feels like I have to consciously create every blade of grass.
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#10
I still find visualizing pretty hard. The sofa comes and goes and everything looks blurry and dark. And I think Amanda changes a little every time I visualize her because I can't remember her form exactly.
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