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My first Tulpa: Elvie


Rivian [Elvie]

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Hello everybody!

Since I was a kid, I imagined a lot of stuff happening around me. Like game characters talking to me or just playing with me outside. But I know I forced them to respond and made them move. The point is, I visualized "people" just so I can talk to them. I did it a lot when I was a child, but I even imagined them when I was like 15-16. Now I'm almost 21 years old and just learned about tulpas. It really intrigued me, because it hit close to home. Also, I wanted to have a companion, a friend, because I have trust issues and I fight with social anxiety. So I decided to do some research about it. I did a decent amount of it. Read a lot about creating and living with a tulpa, so I decided to try it.

I officially created her yesterday. After visualizing her I gave her a name, Elvie. That's the part I'm not sure of. Did something like this really create my tulpa? Is she already "alive"? The second thing I'm not certain of is how to visualize her without forcing her to move. First I imagined her as a pony, but I couldn't really focus on it. Since this morning I imagined her as a small, shining orb. I told her that I have trouble with visualizing her in that form and explained that it is temporary anyway because she can change it whenever and however she wants. But today I think I found a new way to visualize her in a human form. So my question is, are changes like this slowing Elvie down? Another thing is, today I tried imagining her just sitting in front of me in our wonderland, but after I talked to her, my subconsciousness started to move her. For example, the moment I asked her if she'd like a cup of tea, the image of her took the cup from me. I want to believe that it was really her, but I know that it could be puppeting too. What also is a little of, is that I was listening to a song while talking to Elvie and suddenly my mind voice started singing. I was a little shocked, because I wasn't even listening to the lyrics. But it can be my imagination too. Are her sudden movements, without my intentions, only my subconsciousness making her respond to my actions, or is it her doing?

I really want her to decide things on her own and because of it, I'm not sure if we'll be able to do any progress. And I also know that all of this can be just me. I mean she "exists" only for a day. I tried looking for answers on a few forums, but I couldn't find similar questions. And since English isn't my first language, I have trouble with some of the guides. I'm sorry if this is the wrong category to ask things like that. We would appreciate any kind of help!

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Hello everybody!

Since I was a kid, I imagined a lot of stuff happening around me. Like game characters talking to me or just playing with me outside. But I know I forced them to respond and made them move. The point is, I visualized "people" just so I can talk to them. I did it a lot when I was a child, but I even imagined them when I was like 15-16. Now I'm almost 21 years old and just learned about tulpas. It really intrigued me, because it hit close to home. Also, I wanted to have a companion, a friend, because I have trust issues and I fight with social anxiety. So I decided to do some research about it. I did a decent amount of it. Read a lot about creating and living with a tulpa, so I decided to try it.

I officially created her yesterday. After visualizing her I gave her a name, Elvie. That's the part I'm not sure of. Did something like this really create my tulpa? Is she already "alive"?

 

It's hard to really pick an exact point in time that a tulpa was created. Many people use whatever day they first started actively forcing, but that has nothing to do with whether they're "alive" or not. Really, tulpa creation is a gradual process, with fuzzy milestones but no hard markers.

 

The second thing I'm not certain of is how to visualize her without forcing her to move. First I imagined her as a pony, but I couldn't really focus on it. Since this morning I imagined her as a small, shining orb. I told her that I have trouble with visualizing her in that form and explained that it is temporary anyway because she can change it whenever and however she wants. But today I think I found a new way to visualize her in a human form. So my question is, are changes like this slowing Elvie down?

 

I don't see why it would be. Sounds like you're doing everything right in that regard.

 

Another thing is, today I tried imagining her just sitting in front of me in our wonderland, but after I talked to her, my subconsciousness started to move her. For example, the moment I asked her if she'd like a cup of tea, the image of her took the cup from me. I want to believe that it was really her, but I know that it could be puppeting too. What also is a little of, is that I was listening to a song while talking to Elvie and suddenly my mind voice started singing. I was a little shocked, because I wasn't even listening to the lyrics. But it can be my imagination too. Are her sudden movements, without my intentions, only my subconsciousness making her respond to my actions, or is it her doing?

 

If you didn't purposefully make something happen, assume it was your tulpa. Occasionally it may be the result of some stray thought, but 99% of the time it is your tulpa. Also, your subconscious responding to your actions is your tulpa. Of course it's without your intentions, it's her intentions.

 

I really want her to decide things on her own and because of it, I'm not sure if we'll be able to do any progress.

 

Don't feel bad deciding things (name, form, voice, personality, etc) for her while she can't. It can all be changed later, it's not set in stone.

 

And I also know that all of this can be just me. I mean she "exists" only for a day. I tried looking for answers on a few forums, but I couldn't find similar questions. And since English isn't my first language, I have trouble with some of the guides. I'm sorry if this is the wrong category to ask things like that. We would appreciate any kind of help!

 

This might be a better fit for the Questions and Answers section, mods will probably move it. No worries.

I don't visit as often as I used to. If you want me to see something, make sure to quote a post of mine or ping me @jean-luc

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