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My Progress Diary // Returning with Tean //


MibPizza

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1.

-Last night I was randomly surfing on the internet I came across with this site. I went to the chat and had a chat with the tulpa people. I am a spectical person. So it may not be easy for me to remove my doubts but I will try. Because I won't lose anything by experiencing and trying this stuff. So far what I believe a tulpa is this; we are imagining a character, his personality and his appareance so much that at the end our brain starts doing it on its own. But this is what I think as a person with no experience. I am creating this diary in order to have a discipline. I won't read guidelines because that is what recommended to me, so my progression may be slower but more unique I don't know.

 

-So far I tried to imagine a tulpa and even though usually my imaginary characters are much more different, this one weird man came up in my mind. He has a light gray skin. Very masculine and giantish. He is bald and mostly naked. (No Homo!) He resembles me the Seth in Street Fighter but I don't want to mix them eachother so I wont be playing SF4 anytime soon. Also in the second 300 Spartans movie there was a bald king-like dude. He also resembles me to the toon I created. My character was in a desert, everywhere is sand and nothing but him can't stand on the sand without sinking.  It is hard to imagine him in anywhere different, espacially in real world because he wouldn't fit in. But everything is still cloudy as I expected I need more time and practice to get better results I believe. I won't call this a "bs" or "real" anytime soon for the other newcommers. But I will try to put my doubts a side.

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I personally consider the creation of tulpa as a life-long commitment, and is a decision that needs to be debated over and over within one's mind before making. I am not saying this to criticize you, but I recommend you to think about the effect it will have on your life in general, and carefully reconsider whether this hasty decision is well-made or not. Remember, tulpas are sentient beings, and they will take away a lot of time and energy from you.

"Pouncing ray to ray to through the dappled shadows,

Light was pouring down upon the stepping-stones,

It felt like morning coming for its throne,

But I don't know why it looked like a tiger striped sky."

 

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@Rheiathefourth I can't really understand what you are saying before experiencing myself. Because of my curiosity. But do not wory to much because I used to want something like this to happen. When I was a kid, I tried to create a court In my mind with different characters in it. Everyone would have different personalities so when I need to decide something in real life I would take their aide. :D But I lost my focus in few days and forget about it. I like imagining and in the last years I even stopped imagining before the sleep.

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2-

I understand now that this creating the tulpa is a blind path. You don't get fast results so you don't understand if you are doing something right or wrong. I imagined myself in the desert world where my tulpa supposed to live I talked to him a lot. But I couldn't make him talk by myself because he has no personality. His appearance gives me some clues but I didn't define him with anything. So I cannot make him talk with my own will. Maybe tulpa needs to have a defined personality I am not sure. When practicing it, talking to him everything is more clear but other times I feel a bit lost. Maybe it is still so early lets spend some more day just exploring myself. If I don't get anything Then maybe I'll read other peoples experiences a bit.

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3- It was going well then I stopped for two days. My brain constantly reminded me about my tulpa like an alarm clock. So I did not forget it, I was just lazy but I am returning to it back now. Still, my tape doesn't have a defined appearance, it is very blurry. I am talking to it constantly about everything I can think of, from some I talked. They didn't even make their tulpa talk back, eventually their tulpa started responding. I don't know how is that gonna work, but I'll try that way. Because it would be more natural.

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  • 3 months later...

1-

It is sad that I had lost my focus and stopped forcing moths ago but three days ago I made a dedicated return with a new tulpa, He is called Tean.

 

There is something about Tean because his visulation was amost in an instant. I was thinking about Tean's appearance then it was like flash, very sharp and quality vision. He is both complicated and simple looking at the same time because in raw he looks almost like the first tulpa that I was trying to force, even his color changed to be the same. Other that that he has an egg like shell/tank in which he resides. Small and big octopus arms all over him and his lifesupport shell. This egg like tank is really interesting because I didn't want to remove it since it came with Tean but it has a large eye with which Tean supossed to see outside when he is in the tank. Well it may be complicated but Tean's vision is so clear in my mind and I decided to keep going with everything exactly same.

 

Other than that this time I wanted to give him some personality traits, as a basic template for his start. I chose them according to Tean's appearance. So I choose Cold, Intelligent, Observing, stuff like that and talked to him few times about what are they and how does it effect. He is kinda handicapped because he can't stay out of his tank for a long time and he is very sick. So this should also effect his personality. Even in our wonderland adventures I tent to make him return to his tank or sometimes those little octopus arms carries the egg to him, kinda scary vision actually. When passive forcing I had problem with feeling his presence at my side so I would direct my speaking to him but whit his egg I am much confident about his presence.

 

 

I spoke to him a lot since I started creating him, both active and passive. I do avoid parrotting and sometimes our dialoges can get boring but when I detect it I either finish it for the moment or try to change to a better topic. I am also reading a lot lately and after the chapters I try to talk to him about what happaned in the story and such.

 

Maybe it is too early to expect a response but I am curious about how can it happen. I read about people getting confused about if they are making up the responses or not. I am multilingual and if my tulpa could start speaking in a language that I don't use to think, it would solve the problem. I will not thing about it for now, I will spent time with Tean and make a habit of naratting and forcing him. In my first trying I had the habit when my mind would continuously remind me about my tulpa. I will try to achive that first.

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That is certainly a fascinating start. Do you imagine he will get healthier as you force more? Do you believe your old tulpa is inside him?

 

Welcome back! And good luck. I do recommend reading the guides to learn the theory. People say not to follow them because there is always stuff that does not work for you, so you have to improvise.

 

Edit: confusion about genuine responses always comes from somewhere. If you parrot, then the confusion comes from it feels similar. Early on, there was confusion because sometimes genuine responses happened too fast.

Host comments in italics. Tulpa's log. Tulpa's guide.

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That is certainly a fascinating start. Do you imagine he will get healthier as you force more? Do you believe your old tulpa is inside him?

 

Welcome back! And good luck. I do recommend reading the guides to learn the theory. People say not to follow them because there is always stuff that does not work for you, so you have to improvise.

 

Edit: confusion about genuine responses always comes from somewhere. If you parrot, then the confusion comes from it feels similar. Early on, there was confusion because sometimes genuine responses happened too fast.

 

Thank you for your reply, it is very helpful.

 

About his sickness I thought it would get healthier slowly but he looks much more stable now, I didn't plan it this way and not sure if I should try to change it back. Same thing happaned to his color, in the old tulpa I fought so much for he's skin color to stay the same but this time I did let it go it is some whiter blue but there are no changes anymore and I am okay with that.

 

When I think about the old tulpa I imagine him sitting some where dark like that but I am not really sure about it is him or not yet.

 

Reading guides, yes this time I have been reading a lot, espacially for getting motivation it helps so much.

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