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My Voice


vileeden

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I remember the first time I heard what I thought was a man.

 

I was coming home from a bowling birthday party as a child. I had received knock off "Rocket" style candy and was asking my mother if she wanted some.

 

I was told by this voice that she only eats the real "Rockets".

 

A moment later my mother replied the same thing.

 

I remember thinking I should not have asked about the candy. That I didn't like this voice.

 

Growing up I seemed to ignore this menace.

In high school I fed it.

 

A draining sensation and then a slowing of my awareness in reality and this voice.

As if my mind is speaking for me. Perhaps to me.

 

I do not speak out loud when this happens.

I try to regain my control.

 

But I feel blank as if my eyes have veiled and background vibration is strong.

 

I have since given it possession of an abandoned building I own. I believe unknown to me at the time but perhaps influenced unconciously by it.

 

I've given it enough for to haunt me there.

 

I wonder if a tulpa is what I have here.

 

I believe it influences my reality in things I have told others were in most eyes ghosts in my house.

 

I thought it was a ghost until I read about what you are discussing on here.

 

But I have no control of this background noise when it happens.

 

A high emotional state in this house and an actual concious thought directed at this unknown has given rise to me actually feeling a presence.

 

Of things in the dark moving or touching me.

 

This is nothing like the happy things on your forum.

 

A dark feeling.

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Dismissing the fact that this sounds a fabricated story/tale, umm... Yeah never mind I don't think I can do that.

Sounds like whatever it is stems from your head, but I don't think it's a tulpa. Sounds more like a malevolent thoughtform, if that.

I'm IBreakGames, a genuine dude.

 

We gave up on using different colors for each of us, so there's Al, Ollie, and Eva. We're all rabbits, get over it.

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I... really do not know how to respond to this. Is this a story, a question, a progress report?

"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit." -Aristotle

 

"When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive - to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love." -Marcus Aurelius

 

“Fairy tales are more than true: not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.” -Neil Gaiman

 

"The master has failed more times than the beginner has even tried." -Stephen McCranie

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This doesn't sound like a tulpa to me either, although tulpas don't have to be happy or friendly toward their host.

 

What you describe sounds like it might be something similar to schizophrenia. Have you ever told a doctor about this? --I'm not qualified to diagnose anything like that, but your description does make me worry some.

Lyra: human female, ~17

Evan: boy, ~14, was an Eevee

Anera: anime-style girl, ~12; Lyra made her

My blog :: Time expectations are bad (forcing time targets are good though)

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