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[Narration] Someone help me please! This is a weird situation
Hello and thanks for even clicking on my post.
This is my very first post on here because I promised myself I wouldn't start asking stupid questions since there is a search button. It's only that I don't think anyone has ever had a situation like this.

My tulpa is 4 days old and his name is Peter

I can really visualise him and stuff and I think he's already talked to me before once so I could say I'm doing pretty well.
Normally I narrate pretty much the whole day to him and I do active forcing while in bed (imagine us doing weird stuff and dancing on the music that I listen to with headphones), though not that much.
Well this time I was talking to him in bed and I asked him some questions and he responded. (I am afraid I was the one answering the questions even though I know of the whole -assume it's your tulpa talking thing-)
It soon turned out he wanted his hair to be blue and after that he just wanted another form.
I was very happy and exited and told him he could choose whatever form he wanted to.
Well this is basically what happened.
Apparently he was a girl and her name was Sabrina. Her voice was really high and pitchy and a bit annoying. She also was really happy I could hear her suddenly and very clear, because normally I couldn't even hear her.
Then I asked her (as proof it was her indeed) to make my knee hurt and she said okay but I didn't feel pain, not even a little.
This is when I began doupting it was her and she got angry with me.
Then she got sad and I felt really sad too. Very depressed actually.
I told her I loved her if she was indeed my tulpa Peter and then she kind of left I think.
When I asked something some time later if she was mad at me the answer was 'no'.
It felt really like I was just trying to comfort myself though and her voice was again like my mind voice.
I am scared she hates me now or she just wasn't real and I was just parroting everything.
Please help me because I am really depressed right now Sad
At some points she felt real but on other points she really felt made up. Thanks in advance Angry

Also, if you want to look at my tumblr blog:

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Relax. Breath. Everything is fine.

Sometimes your tulpa will need to take personal time to grow or figure things out. It's normal, it's natural it's nothing to worry about.

Changin her form is also normal. Your tulpa may deviate from what you expect but that's just a part of personal growth. Keep referring to her by her chosen name. Not Peter, this might be making her uncomfortable. Also keep talking to her.

One thig you can do is try to force, even if she doesn't show up just let her know you are still here and you still love her just as she is an you'll be ready when she is to come back.

She will come back. Just relax.

Also odds are good if you think you are parroting you aren't as parroting is a conscious action. So just trust that it is her. I had this issue with Toby at first. It's just the normal doubting process of something new.

Also not feeling the pain you asked her to create again is normal. Your tulpa wont try to hurt you. A better way for a "prove yourself" situation is to go into your wonderland with her and ask her to suprise you.

Toby grew me a cherry tree. That was proof enough.
Thankyou very much! I really was down, you helped me a lot! I could cry right now seriously Smile Everything will be fine I know it. You are an angel and I'm sure Sabrina will be grateful to you for talking to me out of this. My god I'm such an idiot. But I have one more question:
Do you know why I could hear her almost perfectly when I didn't hear her at all before? This is really a sign of progress I think. When we have found a new form for her I will start imposing her.

Again, thanks a lot!
Take it easy tiger. Imposition should only be attempted once you have her form, voice and personality down 110%

It is a sign of progress and in te first stages development may be sketchy, it may even seem to take two steps backwards at times but it is progress.

The first time I heard Toby it was one word sentaces. Then full conversations. Then he went quiet for a few days and then back to one word sentances and then BAM! Major jump in development. I'm not saying yours will be the same but see what I mean by two steps back?

She won't be at you. Just be honest with her. Explain things the best way you can an shell understand

With Toby he was quiet when I was tryin to force him the way I wanted him to be. Once I let go and let him take control of his own form an voice he became louder, more active and his development jumped dramatically.

In my opinion why he did this and maybe why Sabrina did this is because they had confidence. They were speaking as their own person not as we wanted them to be.
It's alright Smile
She came back today and she told me she wasn't really angry (how could she be- she is a part of me), she was just frustrated. Also I think she didn't really leave she just ignored me.
Today was a good day, we talked a lot (ecept for the afternoon-I still have my social life to deal with :p) and in the beginning she sounded like me but in the evening we made her voice a bit higher than mine. She explained this was because she knew her previous voice was annoying and she wanted to make us both happy.
We already have a new form for her, though it's still vague. She can really talk in sentences but sometimes we prefer to communicate by raw thought because it is so much easier and I'm lazy Smile. I'm only going to impose her when I can see her perfecly fine with eyes open and she has her own voice. As for personality I skipped this so she can grow up like a normal person would through experience. I hope we will be ready by the end of the month, and if not she can take her own time. I asked her to suprise me of course and we had much fun! She is very grateful and I am too so thanks a LOT again Smile
BTW she's changed again. Her name is Ellen now. :p
Lol just give her the space and freedom to explore, she'll figure out what works for her. Have you asked her if she would like to be a shapeshifter? If she changing form a lot she might enjoy keeping that ability
If it helps Esmeralda had a phase where she changed forms a lot, everyday she would have a new form until finally she decided to go back to the first form she had chosen and said she had just been experimenting, trying to find herself but later realized she was trying too hard and needed to take thing more easy, maybe your tulpa is going through something like that (or very different, who knows), give her time she is young still.
She doesn't want to be a shapeshifter but maybe she will change her mind later. Also I can't hear her when I'm pissed or very emotional I think. Today I was very angry and depressed and I wanted to talk to her but she didn't respond.
Just calm down. That's not her, it's just your emotions gettin the best of you. Try deep breaths

Oh wait lemme Amend that. Since she is young it may be her. She might be picking up on your emotions and choosing not to talk to you for whatever reason.

Just explain that it's not her you are mad at, do the deep breath thing and over time things will be fine.

Oh wait lemme Amend that. Since she is young it may be her. She might be picking up on your emotions and choosing not to talk to you for whatever reason.

Just explain that it's not her you are mad at, do the deep breath thing and over time things will be fine.

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