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Okay... What do you think what's going on here?
Darb_Harbentucker Offline
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#1
 
Okay... What do you think what's going on here?

My tulpa has been in progress for over a year, now and I am still going at it, however I am leaning to the "i'm getting tired of this" side. I recently communicated with my tulpa while imagining she's walking beside me when I was taking a walk. We talked for an unexpected half an hour while I was imposing her next to me though poorly done like she's not there, for a second then she's there for half a second then disappears because of me imagining her there. Then after we talked, we went over to the bed an-. A little while longer, I get memories of us talking to each other and doing the previously mentioned. It seemed so... real. Like she was there with me for real. I have been wondering, what is going on here? Why does a horribly imposed tulpa looked like it actually happened in the aftermath memories?
09-12-2014, 12:00 AM
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Chupi Offline
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#2
 
RE: Okay... What do you think what's going on here?

I've experienced the same sort of thing. When I visualize them (or anything really) over reality, I almost always don't see a wink of them, but they're a lot more there in the memory. I suspect it's because you're visualizing them about as clearly as you do a memory, but nothing like as clearly as you perceive IRL things. When you look back on it, it's all about as clear as a normal memory.
09-12-2014, 04:30 AM
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Linkzelda Offline
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#3
 
RE: Okay... What do you think what's going on here?

I’m just as clueless on the real reason behind this all. Though I can attest that I’m in the same position with you with visual imposition, and then the strong and vivid mind’s eye visualization that may come after. Maybe everything you’ve done up until now ended up in you unconsciously being retrospective of the previous moments that required much of your conscious awareness, and your mind sort of filled in the blanks to make things more memorable and intense.

I’ve had the same thing happen to me, except in reverse with lucid dreaming with Eva and Ada one time. For Eva, there were experiences of deep affection that became so internalized, that the moment I woke up for the day, the feelings and sensations lingered on for several days, and I can still recall how I felt months ago. Maybe our mind naturally tries to make things better for us when we went through the trial-and-error behind conscious activities. And when those sensations become second nature, or almost to it, it may be hard to shake off how real things seem to be, even if it may be all some virtual experiential reality in our head, or a projection in our perception of reality simply because having that accumulation of sensations may be one of many ways to validate their existence.

Kind of like having an intense bond with someone, whether it was sexually, romantically, or whatever form of expression, the retrospect tends to magnify things. Maybe it could be the initial fears, doubts, and such that makes us take for granted of how real it really was when we’re in the moment, and the retrospective state is probably where we’re in some state of imaginary objectivity, analyzing everything with a neutral disposition until a set of sensations and feelings become too overwhelming to shrug off; kind of like having a collage of pictures, and feelings of nostalgia come rushing in.

And then when we go back to the same “living in the moment” with them, we end up mystified on how the hell it’s happening, as if it’s really some big mystery. But honestly, this ebb and flow with confusion and retrospect isn’t surprising at all. I still experience it, and I wouldn’t be bothered if it happens to me for the rest of my life with them; the cyclical process probably just helps sustain the cumulative experiential learning of how one would validate the existence of their companions, I guess.



TL;DR:


“Nostalgia is possibly the greatest of the lies that we tell ourselves. It is the glossing of the past to fit the sensibilities of the present. For some, it brings a measure of comfort, a sense of self and of source, but others, I fear, take these altered memories too far, and because of that, paralyze themselves to the realities about them.”

-Drizzt Do'Urden
R. A. Salvatore's 'Streams of Silver' Forgotten Realms
(This post was last modified: 09-12-2014, 04:50 AM by Linkzelda.)
09-12-2014, 04:49 AM
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