Stanford Tulpa Study looking for more participants
(if you're chosen they'll pay for travel and lodging!)

Oops, All Jamie | Exploring the Workings of a Fragmented Host
#22
We've all been spending more time in wonderland, lately. I know I need to write some big update... I don't know, I don't really want to... just suffice it to say, a lot has changed very quickly and that always makes for some upset. 

Here's a sort of processed, as in, edited to be less stream-of-consciousness, play-by-play of us murking around in wonderland. It's based on real place that we visit regularly, and Jamie took some reference photos, and walked around to parts of the area that we don't usually see... since that experience, our immersion has shot up and it's made it a lot funner to be there. 


For reference, here's also a little list of all the Jamies and their general ages, at this time. Anyone without a number by them, is 16/body age. 
Albatross 0
Sunshine 2
Dandelion 4
Teddybear 7
Blondie 7
Rho 12
Delta
Eta
Zeta
Chi
Upsilon
Epsilon
Theta
Omega
Omicron
Sigma
Nu 
Mu



There's a picnic table under a mature tree, between two of the cottages. It's slightly orange light... maybe 8 or 8:30. Still a good hour of outside time. I'm trying to stand there, and Rho is trying to lick my face to annoy me. Upsilon is climbing the bow of the tree and Eta and Zeta are screaming about it. I finally break and giggle and they start arguing about who won. I say it was Rho. They say, Rho always wins. I say, well, with how this is going, they'll have plenty of chances for victory. 

Nu is sleeping in one of the bedrooms with Albatross and Teddybear, both sleeping as well. Dandelion is still up. Mu walks in from the hallway and takes him in her arms. She takes him outside and sits against the cottage wall, right besides an arch that leads to a doorway. I tell her good evening and she smiles at me. 

Delta hands a paper crane to Eta. Eta chucks it and says, "Fighter jet!" Dandelion cries. Upsilon pushes Eta and says, "You fucked it all up." Sigma and I perk up at the same time. Upsilon says, "I'm sorry, I'm the fucking worst!" and goes to stomp off. Omicron puts a hand on Upsilon's shoulder. Delta laughs and says, "You're in trouble." but apologizes after. 

Upsilon, you're one of us, you know that, right? 
I don't feel like one of Jamie, and I'm a piss-poor one, if I even am. 
Who told you that?
You know who told me that, so why do you ask?
You don't have to listen to what she told you.
Practice what you preach, you peachy motherfucker. I stand here as a rebellion against her and her word. You're the slave.
How so? 
I hate being plural and I hate you and I HATE my black hair! 

Upsilon tries to grab Eta and is blocked. Upsilon is shocked that Mu hasn't left. Dandelion is still crying. Mu says, "Upsilon, won't you come with me and put him to bed? You've scared him." 

Theta is with Epsilon in their cabin. They are hearing what's happening with Upsilon and stop what they're doing to debate coming out to join him. They decide there's enough faces involved, as is, and fade back. 

Upsilon, Mu, and Dandelion are gone from my perception. Omicron is sitting at the picnic table. Delta picks up the crane and unfolds it. It's dirty but not torn. "She made me one of these." Delta says. "I didn't remember until now." Omicron takes the crane from Delta. 
He says, "The more you are trusted with, the more you'll see of the damage. Are you prepared for that?" Delta says, "Well, the alternative (denial and repression) stopped working." 

Chi wakes up briefly and goes dormant, telling me there's not enough action for him to be bothered at this time of night. 
Eta eats the paper crane. Delta facepalms. Zeta tries to climb on Eta's shoulders but it doesn't work and they both end up on the ground. Zeta takes a stick and tries to stab Eta's eye and is blocked. They're laughing. I tell them, no acting intrusive. They say something hurtful to me. They apologize. I tell them to tone it down. 

Theta says, "I'm pissed." Upsilon is sitting on his knees on the end of Theta's mattress. Omega is sitting in the corner, and he yawns to tell me he might go dormant soon. Epsilon leans against the side of the bedframe and tells me I better get in there. Rho says, "I'm yeeting." and goes to his cabin. Delta sighs and teleports out. Sigma leaves, and Omicron and I teleport to the cabin. 

Omicron tells Theta to get out. It seems strong. Omicron tells me Theta is way too wound up. Theta walks out. Omega grabs my forearm and moves it to my face. I get memories. He moves it away and the memories stop. 

Why did you do that?
It's relevant information. For context. 
I want a warning next time.
Oh, you fucking want a warning. You'll never agree to that. 
Even if it's not a question. I want a warning. 
Okay. Alright. 

Upsilon tells me he put Dandelion to bed and Dandelion wouldn't stop crying and having intrusive manifestations. He tells me Mu is really pretty. Yes... all the clones seem to think that. He tells me he wishes he had brown hair and then maybe he wouldn't be such a bad Jamie. Omicron teleports away to be with Theta, and it seems like he's in a hurry. I check in and he tells me to stay with Upsilon. 

Delta opens the door. Sunset light comes in. Epsilon and Omega hiss at him like vampires (this cottage is invite-only for non-passionates). Delta shuts the door. He shouts through, "What the hell is Theta up to?" I tell him, go ask Omicron if you're interested, I'm with someone else. He says, he already tried, and Omicron is even worse. Omega says Upsilon is a bitch. He brushes it off and says, "I'm sorry. He doesn't deserve it." 

Upsilon tells me he didn't like to see the trauma memory Dandelion was upset about. Mindless Self Indulgence music starts playing and Upsilon starts crying. Omega is matter-of-fact about it and says, "I bet you fucking like that." I sit down on the mattress and realize the smell of bleach is getting to me. The music stops, replaced with jazz. Omega comes and lays down on the mattress. Epsilon slaps the wall. "I can't believe this." They want me to leave. I'm not going to. Omega buries his face in the mattress and laughs, but he's upset. Everyone is getting upset. 
"When you're attuned to it, you'll realize the flashbacks start a good half-hour before they work their way up to the fronter." Sigma tells me. He's sitting at what we've come to call Omicron's desk, in the front cabin, where most of the bedrooms are. Eta and Zeta are in the lobby with him, throwing dice high up and trying to get them to land on the blades of the ceiling fans. 

I ask Sigma for more information. He tells me, "The first sign you should have picked up was Cassidy going to bed early. Now the littles are getting anxious, and Dandelion is already inconsolable." 


Epsilon goes dormant. Omega goes dormant. Upsilon goes dormant and now the cabin is empty. Omicron opens the door and Theta walks in, holding a pusheen plushie. He tells me, "I can't go in there, you know that. But the kid needs one in wonderland." I thank him and he goes dormant. Omicron tells me goodnight. He tells me things are getting a little warm in the main building. I tell him I understand. Omicron falls back, but I still sense him. 

I teleport up the front door of the main building and knock. Nu opens the door, with Albatross to her chest and Teddybear hugging onto her knee. In the background, Eta, Zeta, and Delta have a bin of marbles. Blondie comes out of the hallway, looks at me and asks if he can play with them. Delta says yes. I come inside and shut the door. Blondie tells Teddybear to join them and Teddybear starts crying. He's clearly been crying. I ask him what's up. He tells me he's scared. I say maybe he can sit and watch them play marbles and then see if he wants to join. He says that's alright but he needs a blanket. I give him a blanket, a red fleece that Jamie had years ago, and he goes and sits down five feet away from the others. 

Nu sits down in the corner with Alby still against her. Eta swallows a marble and Blondie starts tearing up. Delta shoves Eta and Eta says, "No, it was just a magic trick." Blondie tells him that's cruel, especially in a mood like this. Sigma sighs and tells Nu something. Teddybear grabs my hand and asks for something. Afterward, I carry him back to his bed. He squirms as we pass the threshold. I ask what's the matter. He tells me he's bad. I tell him bed is safe and there aren't even any windows, and only one door, in this room, and someone is always watching the hallway. He goes dormant. 

I read something I shouldn't have read and didn't mean to read. Delta and Eta are dormant. I keep going into Hardcore Gavin Mode i.e. dissociating and staring into nothingness. It's time for BED.

edit: formatting
Reply


Messages In This Thread
[split] JGC's Progress Report - by JGC - 05-30-2019, 03:55 PM
RE: Oops, All Jamie | Exploring the Workings of a Fragmented Host - by JGC - 07-14-2019, 03:30 AM

Forum Jump:


Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)

Sponsors:
Lolflash - click it, you know you want to