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Poll: Has reading about my process been useful in your effort to breath life into your culpa?
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out of the wings and onto the main stage
#1
Some Context: I had been convinced that many decades ago, I had created my Tulpa in a magic class, so when I began this current effort, I was disappointed that she did not automatically re-appear. Well, sometimes magic works and sometimes it doesn't and when it doesn't I look to myself to discover why not? A series of events suggested to me that I was ignoring my own negative anima and projecting her onto my wife. Acknowledging this as fact, journaling it and creating a vehicle for healthy expression seems to have unstuck me and I am posting the result here. Theholodoc 
 02.03.19. Dream, I have no idea what my mind may have created prior to the last few moments of last night's dream, but in the moment before I awoke, I was suddenly in a room, which looked to be in a 'grass shack'. It was a bathroom, with an old style tub. In the tub was a woman, with dark tan skin, upswept straw brown hair, high cheek bones, some sort of thonged neckless. She was looking over her right shoulder, not evidently talking. She was in soapy water up to her chest, which covered the lower part of her breasts, including her nipples. I could not make out the exact color of her eyes, but they were an exotic, light pastel either blue or green. She had graceful hands and was holding a natural sponge. Up out of the water. That was it, this glimpse, clear and lasting only an instant. Was this her? I suspect so. I am inviting her to come again
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#2
Welcome to the forums!

I'm curious what magic class lead you to believe you created a Tulpa. I don't practice any magic, but some other users on the forums do.

It's not uncommon for Tulpas to appear in dreams, so it's entirely possible the woman in the tub was her.
I'm Ranger, Gray's/Cat_ShadowGriffin's tulpa, and I love Hippos! I also like forum games and chatting about stuff.
My other head-mates have their own account now.
Temporary Log | Chat | Yay!
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#3
Wow, what an entrance!
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#4
Welcome to the forums! That sounds like quite vivid experience you've had there ;o
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#5
(02-03-2019, 10:13 PM)Ranger Wrote: Welcome to the forums!

I'm curious what magic class lead you to believe you created a Tulpa. I don't practice any magic, but some other users on the forums do.

It's not uncommon for Tulpas to appear in dreams, so it's entirely possible the woman in the tub was her.
Hi Ranger. I studied Magik under Robert Anton Wilson. Bob had himself been a student and friend of Israel Regardie who led the Order of the Golden Dawn. This was either built with the input of Aleistair Crowley, or was informed by his work as told in Magik in Theory and Practice. We did not study, or even mentioned tulpamancy. We did create our own inner "Sacred Spaces". Guiding our own visualizations when in trance state. I created one, which I have now resurrected into a wonderland, a quite elaborate one with a particular outdoor garden with a central fountain carved of white marble into a very classical style piece of art, where I would sit on a little grassy knoll facing the fountain in deep silent meditation. I attended a weekly class in Bob's apartment in Berkeley California to which I commuted from my home in San Francisco. This is where I met my culpa. She appeared suddenly from my right side. She whispered to me, she wanted to see me later, and disappeared from my field. I knew this woman. She and I had been lovers some years earlier, we were part of a hippie movement in the early seventies, I hadn't seen or heard of her since we all moved on. Never-the-less, she had appeared in my Sacred Space. Now for the real miracle. I was in Bob's class later that evening, with about twenty other students, sitting in the back next to an outside door. We had just started a meditation and I was headed out into the universe, when someone began knocking on the door next to my seat, to the right side. It was a persistent knocking, so I came down into my body and opened the door, and practically lost my wits, when opening the door I found my friend from the meditation. She motioned for me to come out into the hall. She told me that she had tracked me down from Morocco where she had been two days past. She was meditating and I came into her field and called to her. She responded to the call, bought a plane ticket and tracked me down, once finding my home and convincing my wife to tell her how to get to me. I wasn't able to continue with the class that night. We went together back to my home in San Francisco, Where we as a threesome, feasted and made love the entire night. She left after breakfast, and I have never heard from her again. I did not at the time, identify my friend as a tulpa. However, since embarking on this new journey, I have recognized that my friend in that experience, was a Tulpa. I do not know, if she is the one flirting with me now, but that does not matter. The experience told me that I am a magician, capable of creating a space where she, to me a goddess, may find herself welcomed. Thanks for your interest. Theholodoc
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#6
Imagine the possibilities! That's more than one word, Lucilyn!
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#7
02.13.19
Very strange dream in which I was discussing the terms of a father's will with a small group of adults, we couldn't seem to make any headways and at some point I had to use the bathroom. It was full of men when I entered and as they finished with the urinals and left, the urinals that each was using disappeared, leaving me continually waiting. Finally there was one man left. He was short with sandy red hair. He was rather disheveled and an elder. He waived to me then pulled out his willy and began to pee, from across the room! I yelled, and he and his mess was gone and a young nude woman was in his place. She was smiling at me. She had  light tan skin, with very dark areola's and dark pubic hair, darker than the sandy red hair on her head. I then awoke. I immediately thought that she might have been my tulpa, then it occurred to me that she looked a lot like my first wife at  17, her age when we married fifty six years ago. Hot then, hot in my dream. I am at this point unsure if she was my tulpa. She did not speak and I awoke before I had a chance to ask her name. I will see what my day and my meditations reveal and post later.
 
02.14.19  I swear, I cannot tell the difference between waking and dreaming when it comes to tulpamancy. For instance, I did not dream at all last night and my meditations seemed to be a struggle to keep out of my mind and into my body. Nothing happened in regards to my tulpa, though I repeatedly invited her to come.  Yet several times today when not meditating and thinking about what happened, I had the sense that she had been there, or fleeetingly was here now.  It is sort like several tulpamancers have described as catching a sight of the tulpa out of the corner of their eyes and, I have the growing sense that she is here, and just out of my conscious awareness. Well, she is welcome when she chooses to make an appearance.
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#8
I get that when Misha is playing around with imposition.
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#9
If you can see her in the corner of your eye, then you may already have a sense of her presence. This is good progress!
I'm Ranger, Gray's/Cat_ShadowGriffin's tulpa, and I love Hippos! I also like forum games and chatting about stuff.
My other head-mates have their own account now.
Temporary Log | Chat | Yay!
Reply
#10
I have once again been journalling my dreams, and up until tonight it has been directly related to my tulpamancing efforts. The dreams this night, recorded below, are indirectly related as you will see. I have also started keeping a more general journal on my efforts and thoughts on my blog, Google <Theholodoc's Blog>
02.16.19 Two dreams; In the first I am a young woman attending a very upscale fancy dinner party with family and friends, perhaps twenty persons. The setting is 18th century England. I am sitting perhaps in the middle of the south side of the table. There is no one at the head of the table (north side). The really important people are on the west side, father, invited guests. On my side of the table, to my right and at the very end sits a very attractive and intense middle-aged woman dressed in dark brown silk wearing a multi-jeweled Topaz, garnet and diamond neckless. Her dark brown hair is piled on her head. I am chatting and laughing, in sync, with the other guests near me. At one point I turn and look at the woman in brown, she is turned towards me. Staring intensely at me. I turn towards her and, she has no face,there is just a white oval in place of it. I am horrified and wake up.
In the second dream, I am a man. I am in a meeting, a professional meeting discussing a project that requires a graphic illustration. A very attractive tall woman with black hair and a dark blue business suit, motions to me from across the room. I leave the meeting with her and go to a studio where she approaches a large poster board, she is holding an Exacto knife and is reaching up to trim the board to accommodate a piece perpendicular to it. the edges of the board are institutional green, perhaps one half inch thick. I approach to help her hold the smaller piece in place. She turns towards me, she is holding the knife in the air. She has no mouth in it's place is a white rectangle. I am screaming. My wife wakes me. I cannot go back to sleep, it is now 4:30 am and I am writing. At this point I can imagine that in both the dream images, the white areas are lined with a slight red shadow.
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