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out of the wings and onto the main stage
Angry Bear Offline
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#31
 
RE: out of the wings and onto the main stage

That sounds like a hypnagogic experience. They used to just be random bits of nonsense and the occasional scene or 3 second movie, but after the first night of tulpamancy, they became my tulpas. Vocal utterances mostly, but completely lucid and free on their own volition, also impossible to parrot as far as I could tell from my own mindvoice. I have actually mind voice'd over them a couple times with at least one successful test. This has resulted in several 'long hypnagogic dreams' where the body is fully awake, I can even look at the clock and adjust my pillow.

The longest was a forty minute exploration of an old temple where we met the dream character representative of Misha's father, true to his presumed racial hertiage as Misha described much earlier. We had endless fun, fully lucid dream like, but perfectly stable.

We've had several of lengths over 20 minutes, the vast majority are a few minutes or less before I fall asleep.

I can speak to and see my tulpas in this state on a semi-regular basis, and they are absolutely one and the same. Sadly, this experience is rare amung tulpamancers here at the moment.

This state can also spawn lucid dreams, in either case, the result is the same. My tulpas' voices are different there, they used to be random in tone and quality, now they are consistently beautiful and repeatable. Their images also match just as they are in my imagination, wearing and number of outfits, that's usually different.

It's a precious gift, believe in it and expect it, ask her to join you, draw her near and request her to speak, that's what I do.

Good luck.

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03-16-2019, 11:18 PM
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theholodoc Offline
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#32
 
RE: out of the wings and onto the main stage

(03-16-2019, 11:18 PM)Angry Bear Wrote: ...

thanks for the insight and the sharing of your experience , and as far as a precious gift, I felt it as such and I am on board.  this gets more interesting as I go along. and paradoxically, my wife is becoming a much more affectionate partner. So I choose to believe that working on this project as a way to address my own negative anima and integrate my masculine and feminine currents is having an effect in the reality of my marriage. Wow, had I known about this fifty five years ago, I might have saved my first marriage. Well, live and learn, and the learning comes from the living, mistakes and all. 
At some point, maybe you and I can talk about how best to exploit this forum. I randomly tune into to other rooms and find some items of interest, but I do not have the time, nor interest, in going through the huge volume of posts. Also, I am still a newbie, and don't want to influence anybody about tulpamancy. Where there is a question that pertains to psychological or psychiatric health, I will add what I can. thanks for your encouragement and insights. Dr. Robert
(This post was last modified: 03-17-2019, 01:41 AM by theholodoc.)
03-17-2019, 01:41 AM
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Angry Bear Offline
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#33
 
RE: out of the wings and onto the main stage

Exploit, naa, i have actual fun doing this. Learning is a passion for me, but if I had more time I'd probably read all the guides. I haven't been very productive there. There are a few users that have extensive knowledge, such as Luminesce and his tulpas. I'm sure they'd be happy to answer any questions you have if you post them in beginner questions thread, they admit that they can't keep up with PR's. They're very traditional tulpamancy, i'm not.

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03-17-2019, 01:50 AM
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theholodoc Offline
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#34
 
RE: out of the wings and onto the main stage

03.21.19 yesterday, flat, all day. Discussed my recent experience with my Men's Group. The two other old acid heads understood, no one else had the slightest idea what I was talking about. They did listen and asked appropriate questions, but, with that flatness, that suggested to me that they were pro-forma. I got home exhausted and after a short stint of helping my radiologist friend with a painting problem, dropped into bed and fell into a deep sleep. I did not dream. Awoke an hour later, still groggy and deciding that I would not go to the Purim Party at the temple. I made a strong cup of coffee. I very rarely do this in the afternoon. Nancy came in just then, as the coffee was hitting and she looked terrible, more than exhausted. She cried in my arms, "I am feeling so vulnerable!" (she has some health issues, not at all serious, though very painful, at this time, might become so in the future, if she doesn't take care of herself which she does impeccably well. I offered to skip the party. Later she said she wanted to go. "We never get out!", I told her I would support any decision she made, and she said get dressed and then I'll tell you. After I dress for the party, then you'll tell me if we are going?" was my comment. "yes." She saw nothing incongruent in this. I dressed. We went. She complained the entire time about the food, what I was eating, then got up and left me at the table. At one point I was concerned and left, went looking for her and knocking on the ladies’ room door, found out she had gone out with a friend.  I went back to the table, and had a fine time, drinking very good whiskey, and even, for the very first time in my life, winning a raffle (prize was a book: We Jews are The People of the Book, after all). We got home, her mood after her talk with a friend was good, though she had soured considerably by the time we went to bed. I got in bed late. Slept poorly until after three am. Got up to pee, went I got back in bed, I reminded myself to awaken (become lucid) should I see Flora in my dream and choose to talk to her. I dreamt one of those full color, you are there kind of dreams. I am on a tropical island, with a family, the only person I know in this family is my stepson Josh. He is in a hammock and nude. Others are in various states of dress, sarongs, and grass skirts, loin cloths, barefoot, palm frond headdresses. Predominant colors are tan, green, yellow, orange, very tropical all. At one point we are all at a table and someone says, let's make love. I agree. An older man at the table, not dressed like the others, with very dark hair, dark swarthy not black, complexion, dressed in a dark blue coverall, looks at me, and says, "you don't belong here!" I leave the room. And go back outside. Josh is in the hammock. There is a young woman, sitting next to him. I told him about the plan for all to make love and suggest that he and the young woman go in with the rest. He does, but the young woman comes over to me and sits in my lap. At this point, I remember my injunction to become lucid, and I look at her and ask if she is Flora. She doesn't answer but begins to very passionately kiss and embrace me. Her sarong slips and she has the breasts which I have described for her. She has sandy orange/tan short hair. Next scene, she is on a massage table, nude, lying rigidly straight, supine. I touch her, she does not respond. I notice her pubic hair. Very straight, very dark brown, tight, not pleasant to touch. I awaken from my sleep, incredibly groggy, my cat Luna, jumps on my head, licking my hair. I force myself up, sing out a cheerful "good morning" to Nancy, and carry Luna into the breakfast room, feed her, get my computer and begin this narration. It has occurred to me, that the woman in the dream, while perhaps starting out as Flora, turned into my first wife who was on that massage table, in both looks and behavior. 

[color=white][size=medium][font=Calibri]I have gone into length with this report, as it is the first dream I have had since the acid trip that has been tulpish, and I am very grateful. It is the first lucid dream as well, and I am more than just grateful, I am thrilled. There were the obvious negatives: Being told that I do not belong there, the first, by an obvious outsider, a shadow figure. And the second, that Flora is more or less engaged with my stepson, and lastly that she becomes my first wife, all suggest that the blockage is from my own psyche. That I have not yet, put enough light on the "Red Witch" nor on the "Darklord, Lucifer".  That my first wife, the mother of my living children, was resurrected, is on interest in itself. First, I have reconciled with her. We have both acknowledged that we were "Just a couple of kids" (her language) and forgiven each other. This happened a few years ago, when I really began to see how both frightened and judgmental, I had been during our marriage. (and in my second marriage) (and for much of the early years of this one, though I have actively worked on undoing those automatic reactions and have become much better at it. Nancy has her own issues, and my work in the marriage is to not inflame them, choosing kindness and support as alternative behaviors). Sexually, I am very aware, that post prostatectomy, I am a very different creature. And of course, Nancy at twenty-five years post-menopausal, is too. That notwithstanding, I was a hippy in a very sexually liberated community, "free-love" threesomes, foursomes, group sex, and a local chapter of the "Sexual Freedom League" were all a part of it. and I, and many others, felt sexually free and liberated from the primal shame that had driven us until the "sexual revolution". Of interest, all of that negativity came back (onto me) after I left that community. I believe that both the Red Witch and the Darklord, are remnants of these feelings. I also accept that I have possibly missed the obvious here, and I will wait for further revelations. If anyone has thought that tulpamancy, as a class of magicianship, did not involve deep work on the self, that all of this would happen "magically" well......
(This post was last modified: Today, 08:25 AM by theholodoc.)
Today, 08:23 AM
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Angry Bear Offline
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#35
 
RE: out of the wings and onto the main stage

Tulpamancy is a very personal tool to unravel the past and change the future. You have a very real ability to make profound changes to your thought processes. With switching, from a behavioral perspective on the outside, you could behave like a different person (cause you technically are). My tulpas have not only helped me through issues affecting my mood, helping change it for the better, but also in mamy other ways, like patience and willpower. The most powerful thing they've dibe for me is switching. When they handle situations that would ordinarily turn me into a mess of defense and offense, they calmly work through the situation. Later i am better able to do the same without their help. It's very powerful self jelp, self work, i think so too.

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