Possesssion VS Take Over
#1
Okay, so I just got done reading Ouigi's and Koomer's PR, and let's just say that I am more than a little disturbed. My tulpa still isn't vocal yet, but dang if that PR didn't depress and scare me a little. If I were a little less resolute in my convictions to make a tulpa, I might have abandoned what I've done. However, I have thought hard on it and have no intentions of giving it up.

I have since layed down some ground rules with my tulpa. While possession for private things at home and whatnot is fine, I cannot allow them to take over for important things in my life, I've got to carry my weight and burdens. In fact, I have since decided that I won't even touch on possession until at LEAST a year after my tulpa becomes sentient.

Questions must be asked, however. I need to know, before my tulpa becomes sentient. I've seen a few other PR's where tulpa's pretty much wanted what Oguigi wanted. What is it that motivates a tulpa to need to become 'real' or have a body of their own? Why do they feel the need to take up real world responsibilities or the burdens of their host? What drives them to leave a 'mark' on the world? What makes them feel what they do out here makes any difference to what they do in Wonderland?

   

Personal growth and development equates to more than recognition from others. You could make world peace, but it means nothing if it wasn't something that benefitted your growth or beliefs in some way. So what is it that tulpa's want when they say they want to be 'real?' I really don't want to have control issues with my tulpa. Do I just have to say, "Oi, I love you, but I'm in charge.' and that's it? Seems about as sound as hosts telling their tulpa's the FIRST time that no, they don't want sex, so kindly stop asking. Any advice?
“Of course it is happening inside your head... but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?” -Albus Dumbledore

"Only a few find the way, some don't recognize it when they do - some...don't ever want to." -Cheshire Cat
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#2
How would you feel if you were created in someone's mind and told that you were a seperate entity but other people don't know that you even exist in this world?
Of course you would feel bad even though your host treats you like another person.
And tulpa doesn't know how harsh real world can be than wonderland until they have experienced it.
And imagine if it gives you an important suggestion and you are able to do your work nicely and every person will praise only you.
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#3
(04-23-2014, 11:49 PM)SableXIV Wrote: Questions must be asked, however. I need to know, before my tulpa becomes sentient. I've seen a few other PR's where tulpa's pretty much wanted what Oguigi wanted. What is it that motivates a tulpa to need to become 'real' or have a body of their own? Why do they feel the need to take up real world responsibilities or the burdens of their host? What drives them to leave a 'mark' on the world? What makes them feel what they do out here makes any difference to what they do in Wonderland?

I'd think it's different for every tulpa.
For instance, my tulpa is perfectly content with where she is right now. There is no distinct need to 'take the reins', as it were.
In fact, she specifically said that she would never let me give her permanent control. Something about wussying out on life.
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#4
I think this strife you’re having is probably just having lack of faith of your tulpa being able to be cognizant of the situation. This isn’t undermining that you’re just trying to be thoughtful of them, and wondering how to tell them about what you think about switching in general. This is probably a time where you two could reflect on what you really want in life, and how you change your perspective on things like autonomy, and how an individual gains solace from knowing they’ve contributed to someone else’s growth and development.

It’s a hard truth to face that one may live their lives with their tulpas not being known to others, for fears for things like ostracism, divorce/breakups, and other negative turn of events. At best, one could switch and learn to delegate time of who takes dominion of sensations in real life, and the tulpa will just be aware that they’re not going to be recognized, but they make their own solaces that at least they’re gaining experiential learning of being a sentient being in real life rather than the mental projection within their host’s mind.

Then when you’re wondering who should hold more dominion in life, it becomes a moral and ethical challenge, and personally, if one wanted to create a tulpa to somehow be part of their host’s quotidian lifestyle, things like knowing how to delegate and share time would be imminent topics to assess. A tulpa could be vicarious of the strife you’re going through, and realize that even though they can’t portray their existence to others, at least they can contribute in developing their hosts in general; they would gain some satisfaction that their existence was important in a mutual progressive improvement with their host.

And by development, things like their character, how they view life, camaraderie and other relationships, and means of self-actualization, and seeking life-affirming philosophies. If you want to take more control over your life, and want your tulpas on the sidelines, then it’s something you’ll have to tell them. And sometimes passing the buck to them for certain circumstances isn’t as bad as it seems, especially if it’s not a kind of a switch where you literally just absolve yourself from reality.

I figured something like switching would be a chance for a tulpa and the host to know how to use their own abilities for certain situations for the sake of mutualism. What the host may lack, their tulpa may be proficient in, and this engagement of sharing would fill in gaps of how we can’t do everything, but at least we can do much more with the thought-forms we create. Some people seem to have negative dispositions of hosts allowing their tulpa to have experiential learning of life, which seems kind of weird to be against that other than over-hyping that the host will just cop out from life in general.

If anything, you could tell them that you just need time to figure yourself, and to weigh out the consequences and benefits of what switching may ensue. Maybe 5 to 10 years from now, your skepticism of switching might change to where you may be more confident in letting them be a part of your life, even though you know you would have to sacrifice some time for them to do so. Maybe I guess people don’t see that kind of interaction as building rapport with themselves in general, and see it as a bad thing, but again, a matter of disposition I guess. Strife-filled questions like yours often begs the question of a person going through self-fulfilling prophecies of creating a sentient being for personal development, and such, and yet questions why they did so in the first place.


TL;DR:

It's easy for one to want to create a tulpa to be someone who listens to their deepest, and darkest insecurities and secrets with calm stillness, but it gets even more difficult when that stillness has a yearning to experience the life you've been having longer than they have. Some tulpas are perfectly content of existing in the shadows because they create their own solaces (e.g. knowing their existence contributes to the development of their hosts in general), and some tulpas just want to truly have experiential learning of sentience in waking life rather than a mental existence.

Delegating, sacrificing time, and sharing is something that's imminent that would have to be handled at some point, and if you don't know what to tell them, maybe tell them you want to really find yourself. But then again, you would be on a progressive learning curve of who you are in general (especially if you take their existence a metaphorical correlation of sense of self in different perspectives), and it would be kind of stifling on your quest of who you truly are if you're skeptical about your tulpa adding onto to your existence in ways other than being on the sidelines.
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