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Problem with wonderworld
Kristian_Rebel Offline
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#1
 
Problem with wonderworld

Hello everyone. I've got a problem here. I've found out about tulpas 3 days ago and got really, really interested in this topic. So I decided to make one as my own. I've always had a concept of life companion. She's called Mirraine. First of all, before the forcing itself I wanted to try some meditation and wonderworld. Failed miserably. 4 times. The main thing is - I can't concentrate on my body. And I can't see good enough. I always fall beneath the ground (once it's happend it's repeating all the time until I reboot the session). On third attempt, somehow I did create a wonderworld. I think I did. Because ladder technique isn't working for me (always falling through the stairs), I've said "screw that" and just put something in 10 meters or so infront of me that has a door. It was TARDIS. Well, I thought my wonder would be something like Alderaan with it's amazing views, but time machine is good enough. So, on third attempt I've reached it somehow and got inside. There I had blurry, non-perfect, buggy control over my body. But at least it was control. For 3 or so minutes - than it's gone. Ok, after a break 4th attempt. I can't even pass those 10 meters through the corridor I pass 10 or 15 times per day IRL. Tried to do it for half an hour, grew angry of constant fail and just TPed to the Tardis. Through the door and I'm inside. But now it's not like before. Before it was much more clear and I didn't force it that much into existanse. But now it feels like every single little detail is there only because I really, really want it to be there. A little piece of doubdt or distraction - everything fades. But I try to keep it on. But then I realise that this is SOOO forced. I spend whole my time there just keeping the place existing. So I've given up, terminated the session and caught massive butthurt. What am I doing wrong? I do it with really calm relaxing music, laying on a bed, relaxing my muscles as much as I can. But there is one thing I can't get rid of - thoughts. I've heard of practices like "take them all together and trash them" or "imagine the thought is a bubble in aquarium". The problem is - how the hell am I supposed to do that? I have those annoying distractions in my head infront my eyes. How do I make them a "bubble"? Here's slightly more full version of my attempts - http://community.tulpa.info/thread-kristian-rebel-s-log
I'm really concerned about that. Maybe I should ignore wonder at all? Or not? I'm so confused and depressed about that now. Thank you for your time. No, really, thank you very much.
04-18-2014, 07:31 PM
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Patchlamb Offline
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#2
 
RE: Problem with wonderworld

If you haven't meditated before maybe you shouldn't do it to music. That could be part of the distraction, whether or not it is calming your thoughts could be focusing too much on it (I personally have trouble focusing with music when meditating sometimes). Also try sitting up. Not laying down. You can put yourself to sleep like that and we all know who crazy our thoughts get when you start to drift off. Sitting up sort of forces you to try and stay away- though to be honest I often drift off like that too and have to stop forcing. Bluh. But it still seems better than laying down outright.

When I first started meditation (LOOOOONG before knowing what a tulpa was) I did techniques to immerse myself. I'll tell you what I did and hope it could help you a little.

First make sure you see yourself in third person. If you have trouble seeing yourself at all, just imagine your presence. Don't have to see yourself, just have to know you're there. That your mind is there. Now, you want to narrate what is happening. Narrate as if someone else is guiding you. "You're floating, focus on the feeling. Feel every inch of your body relax. Now, what do you see?" answer yourself. Reply with what ever is there. Blackness, a light, just whatever your mind conjures. If the world you see feels fickle just go with it. If your mind wanders let the narration help you. "No, stay focused. You are floating. Relax. Push the thoughts out of your head." When you feel like you can see something without your head freaking out, imagine a door (which you already talk about doing). Say "In front of you is a door. Do you see it? Slowly go to it. Stand in front of it. On three, open the door and see what is behind it." or, better yet, let the narration tell you what is absolutely going to be behind it. Count down slowly then open.

That was actually something I did after learning about "self hypnosis" a good long while back. Though really you were supposed to wade into water at some point. But you would need to see yourself for that.

Um. I hope that's useful information. Do try it sometime and tell me if you're able to meditate any easier. I'm hoping it'd be easier for you to concentrate on seeing things in your head, which would later lead to better seeing yourself. Good luck! c:>

Though I guess if you really can't get into that sorta stuff you could just chill out on trying for wonderland. Not 100% necessary.

“From my rotting body,
flowers shall grow
and I am in them
and that is eternity.”
(This post was last modified: 04-18-2014, 11:18 PM by Patchlamb.)
04-18-2014, 11:09 PM
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Leaf Offline
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#3
 
RE: Problem with wonderworld

First off a wonderland is not necessary to the process, some people prefer it, but you don't have to have one if it's making you frustrated. As for controlling intrusive thoughts, I find that 10-20 minutes of a simple breathing exercise works really well. In the simplest form, it just involves focusing on the movement of air into and out of your lungs. Intrusive thoughts will pull your concentration off breathing in which case you recognize the thought and return to focusing on breathing. I am oversimplifying, but the general concept is the same, just add symbolism or make it more complex to suit your needs. Finally it seems that you are making everything way too complicated. Don't worry too much about details, it naturally gets better with time and realize that the whole point is not to imagine a perfectly intricate world. You can do that if you want, but the focus should be more on your tulpa, especially if you are having difficulties with a wonderland. I liken it to improvisation in which I was always reminded: keep it simple, stupid.

Unless you believe, you shall not understand.
(This post was last modified: 04-18-2014, 11:13 PM by Leaf.)
04-18-2014, 11:12 PM
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Kristian_Rebel Offline
Russian alcoholic
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Posts: 14
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Joined: Apr 2014
#4
 
RE: Problem with wonderworld

Thank you guys, i will definately look into it tomorrow. I guess my biggest error was trying to stay always 1st person, but my camera always jumped to third person. I'll try just to stick with floating camera then. And I've tried to make everything to be most real indeed. Guess, I'll just have to simplify it a bit. On breathing exrecise - I've tried it 2 days ago, but failed somehow. i'll try to practice more. Also, I started to force my tulpa. I have this Jameson Gold Reserve (Irish whisky) plug. It's pretty important to me and holds very good memories and positive energy. Just don't ask me why, it just is and a long story. So, I made it my tulpa's avatar. Because I don't feel like forcing her looks. I have few concepts, but I want to talk them through with her when she will evolve enough so we can choose how will she look like together. Or I don't know how to say it correctly. And I'm talking to it her sometimes. Well, I actually talk to her alot. Should this help me with my forcing? Thank you again, I'll also report on my meditation and wonderworld tomorrow with your advices.
(This post was last modified: 04-19-2014, 12:01 AM by Kristian_Rebel.)
04-18-2014, 11:55 PM
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