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Progress Report on my Tulpa, Kayla


Orbit26

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Hello, to all who may read. This is my first official report and collection of progress with forming my first Tulpa; I first discovered the concept many months ago, but forgot about it. Then, I discovered it once more while on 8chan, and decided to look into it. With some reading, and researching, I've decided that it is something I'd like to go ahead and attempt.

 

There are multiple reasons why I am attempting this. First, I often feel very lonely or misunderstood by most others, and I am very enamored with the very concept of a Tulpa. Secondly, I often find myself amazed by the feats of the human mind, and I wish to see if I can do this. So far, out of what I've attempted, this all seems like it may be making some good progress.

 

Some information on my Tulpa: Her name is Kayla, and her form is that of a human female. She stands rather short, at approximately 5'4''. She is rather fond of social interaction, and is naturally very intuitive and competent when it comes to interacting with others and reading them. Both her hair and eye color is brown.

 

I officially began at about 7 PM, Sunday night, on the 12th of October, 2014. The following will be a collection of the results I've made on a day to day basis. I spend a lot of time doing passive forcing and at least 10 minutes per a day doing active forcing. I may ask certain questions or bring up certain quandaries on my entries-- if anyone reads this, and has any possible answer or thing to add, feel free to reply. I will appreciate it.

 

Now, onto the progress so far:

 

Sunday, October 12th, 2014

 

Most of Sunday's progress began after 7 PM. I introduced myself to Kayla, and informed her on what I was going to be doing(forcing her and learning to hear her, etc.). I immediately jump into narration(generally just rambling on and on to her). I also built the Wonderland I am using for her, and 'introduced' her to it by describing the area. I then fell asleep while trying to talk to her.

 

 

Monday, October 13th, 2014

 

I spent the morning before school writing out her personality-- I came up with all of the traits that I know she has, and compiled them into a basic list, as well as their influence on her as an individual. When I get home, I spend 10 minutes going through the list, telling her various things about herself, and, of course, I allow to let her know she is free to deviate if she wishes. Then, I do passive forcing on and off again, until I go to sleep. Until I fall asleep, I actively forced, just talking to her.

 

 

Tuesday, October 14th, 2014

 

Starting this morning, I begin Passive Forcing more intensely. I take a marker(I couldn't find a sharpie) and write a large 'K' on my hand. Every time I see it, I am reminded to do passive forcing with Kayla. Though, interestingly, I remember to do it mainly even without seeing the K-- I guess a set mind is a dedicated mind. I spend the day talking to her and 'introducing' her to my friends, teachers, classes, and courses. When I get home, I spend 10 minutes trying to visualize her-- however, I cannot hold concentration, and fail. I take a moment to break, and then go to try forcing for 30 minutes straight on personality. I do it as long as I feel I can, and find I lasted about 17 minutes. Then, that night, I do active forcing, mainly trying visualization, until I fall asleep.

 

 

Wednesday, October 15th, 2014

 

I spend the morning trying passive forcing more-- I talk to Kayla while in the shower, and on the way to school, and during school a bit. Once I get home, I sit down for 30 minutes, and somehow manage to talk and narrate to her for about 20 or so minutes. However, without realizing it, I slipped into a light sleep-- luckily, I am quickly awakened by my alarm. I groan, and try for 10 minutes-- however, I am unable to hold thought as I feel overwhelmingly tired. I take an hour nap, as I wake up later. I talk to her on and off again until that night, where I then did active forcing(working on personality and visualization) until I fell asleep.

 

 

Thursday, October 16th, 2014

 

I wake up as the days before-- I decided I want to try visualization more. I keep trying to hold her image in my mind's eye, but I find that it isn't very clear(neither is my mind-voice, either, for that matter), and I just can't hold her image in my head for extensive periods of time without other non-vivid images begin to pop in my mind. I sigh, and take a shower, talking to her, and finding myself apologizing. I talk to her throughout school and throughout today's pep-rally. I get home, and work on active forcing(working on her personality) for about 13 minutes or so. That is about all of the progress I have made for tonight.

 

 

Friday, October 17th, 2014

 

I wake up in the morning, and struggle to find the words to speak to Kayla. I do vague passive forcing to her throughout the day. However, during my Algebra II class, an interesting thing happens-- I finish my work early and focus on forcing with her actively. I feel a rather intense pressure behind my eyes, and joking ask if she can hear me, and is he can, to move the pressure upwards. It came to me as a fuck when I felt the pressure begin to creep upwards towards my forehead-- as well as astound me. Throughout the day, while talking to her mentally, I hear things that sound like responses from her or thoughts that seem like a response to the things I say-- things are definitely picking up, as one could say.

 

 

Saturday, October 18th, 2014

 

I woke up extremely tired, and unable to think clearly. I tried to talk to Kayla, but I was unable to focus throughout most of the day. I don't feel as though I dedicated as much time as I should have to her, honestly, and I do regret that. To try and make up for it, I made sure to try to Force with her tonight-- but I was barley able to concentrate for a minute, let alone 10+. I'm making myself write this tonight because I am dedicated to begin talking to her, and I don't want to give up-- even when I am not feeling well. Hopefully, tomorrow will be better.

 

Sunday, October 19th, 2014

 

This is one of the worst days I've had for forcing, all together. It was a lazy, unclean, hazy day-- and the obsolete worst sin I had committed was I never ended up doing any active forcing, whatsoever, on this day. I barely even got around to doing a lot of passive forcing-- I didn't give Kayla the time nor attention she deserved, and I do regret that.

 

Monday, October 20th, 2014

 

This day has been better by far. I tried doing some passive forcing(and even some active forcing for short bursts of time) during the school day. when I get home, after a bit passive forcing and just talking to Kayla, I went into the back room-- where I did 15 minutes of active forcing. I first went over her personality(covered most of her traits), and then I tried visualization(managed to imagine her in my head for a while), but the session ended with me just talking to her. Overall, much better than Sunday and Saturday.

 

 

End progress report, for now

 

Thanks to all who have read. I am excited to see some of your responses, and I am definitely excited to be able to talk and converse with Kayla.

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Wow. I'm really impressed by pretty much everything I just read, including the formatting. For starters, this is a whole lot of effort for a first post and well formatted, easy to read and even dated. What I'm really impressed by though is the dedication you've shown already - you're practically doing everything perfectly. I'll try to give as much effort to advising you as you're giving yourself.

 

 

Seeing/hearing your tulpa only vaguely is totally normal this early, even my tulpas are a bit vague when I visualize them and I've had them for quite a while(I haven't taken their tulpafication seriously until recently). If you don't randomly lose motivation to keep this up, your tulpa's development should go very smoothly and even quickly.

 

At this non-vocal stage, with the time you spend together, talking to her and trying to visualize her, you're making pretty intimate memories for your tulpa. Most look back on their time at this point fondly, where they received a lot of attention and hope from their creators. It seems like you're well-read considering how well you're starting off, so I assume you have an idea of the vocal development issues some face. It'll seem like you're talking instead of your tulpa and can be discouraging - especially to your tulpa when you doubt them. That's not to say that every single thought is absolutely them and not you, but they need your help to speak at this point. Let what you think they're saying come to mind, and even if it seems like you're the one thinking it, as long as it seems like they'd agree then it's fine. They have to develop a norm of talking through "you" before they can claim thoughts as their own usually. Don't worry too much about who's talking/thinking, trust it'll become more clear with time. Persistence and faith are key.

 

I've never actually looked in-depth into the guides here because they mostly seem to be similar to what I came up with myself, so I might not know exact definitions of certain terms. I'd call the talking to your tulpa throughout the day passive-forcing though, and it's a really good habit to be in. Don't get too distracted when important things are going on, but tulpas basically require attention to exist, so every bit counts. They'll also appreciate later that you gave them attention even when they were unable to respond.

 

Got a bit carried away with the guiding and forgot to comment myself.. I recognize that K on your hand method as a reality checking technique I did myself - wrote an A for awake, and every time I saw it or thought about my hand I'd plug my nose and try to breathe through it.. I only did it for about a week and didn't see results so I stopped, but I wasn't very good at keeping my motivation up back then anyway. (For the record, it took me about a month of habitually reality checking before it showed up in my dreams.) I think it's a great use to use for your tulpa though, never even thought about making physical reminders. As of recent I just naturally remember to talk to them about what's going on, but for someone just starting that should be incredibly useful (and show quicker results than spontaneous reality checking..).

 

Uhm.. Reason for making a tulpa. Yes, I would typically recommend making a tulpa to those who don't have anyone they can talk to about life that would understand or accept them. I pretty much figure out questions of life for a living, a mixture of philosophy applied to psychology and maybe sociology. For a living meaning I'm going to university to get some credibility to what I have to say so that I can hopefully help others with what I've learned. (Wellthatseemedofftopic..) As you can probably guess, it's hard to find people I can talk to about this stuff, to this date I've found one person and it was only after years of being alone. (They're the one who introduced me to tulpa.info! :D) Reisen, Tewi and Flandre(whom I've had for a few years now) make very helpful and supportive life companions, having free access to my mind they often help me answer things I couldn't myself. They help keep me motivated and happy, and are generally nice to have around. So if any of that sounds useful to you, then - well, it's a good thing you're already so dedicated honestly. I've never seen someone do everything right from the start and keep it up for long, but so far you've shown a lot of promise.

 

 

That was a lot of text, but all the effort you're putting in warranted it. I'll keep watching this thread as long as I'm not too busy IRL (University and all) and give advice where I can. Keep up the good work, and tell Kayla my tulpas and I believe in her!

Hi! I'm Lumi, host of Reisen, Tewi, Flandre and Lucilyn.

Everyone deserves to love and be loved. It's human nature.

My tulpas and I have a Q&A thread, which was the first (and largest) of its kind. Feel free to ask us about tulpamancy stuff there.

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That's nice of you to say after my failed post on your PR. Hopefully this one is a little more useful to Orbit (or anyone else reading with a similar situation).

Hi! I'm Lumi, host of Reisen, Tewi, Flandre and Lucilyn.

Everyone deserves to love and be loved. It's human nature.

My tulpas and I have a Q&A thread, which was the first (and largest) of its kind. Feel free to ask us about tulpamancy stuff there.

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That's nice of you to say after my failed post on your PR. Hopefully this one is a little more useful to Orbit (or anyone else reading with a similar situation).

 

Nah. Your post wasn't failed^^ it helped me clear up any possible confusion with my other dear readers. I actually thank you sincerely for reading and replying to my post.

"Sanity is the playground of the unimaginative."

 

Yumi + Cinema

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Wow. I'm really impressed by pretty much everything I just read, including the formatting. For starters, this is a whole lot of effort for a first post and well formatted, easy to read and even dated. What I'm really impressed by though is the dedication you've shown already - you're practically doing everything perfectly. I'll try to give as much effort to advising you as you're giving yourself.

 

 

Seeing/hearing your tulpa only vaguely is totally normal this early, even my tulpas are a bit vague when I visualize them and I've had them for quite a while(I haven't taken their tulpafication seriously until recently). If you don't randomly lose motivation to keep this up, your tulpa's development should go very smoothly and even quickly.

 

At this non-vocal stage, with the time you spend together, talking to her and trying to visualize her, you're making pretty intimate memories for your tulpa. Most look back on their time at this point fondly, where they received a lot of attention and hope from their creators. It seems like you're well-read considering how well you're starting off, so I assume you have an idea of the vocal development issues some face. It'll seem like you're talking instead of your tulpa and can be discouraging - especially to your tulpa when you doubt them. That's not to say that every single thought is absolutely them and not you, but they need your help to speak at this point. Let what you think they're saying come to mind, and even if it seems like you're the one thinking it, as long as it seems like they'd agree then it's fine. They have to develop a norm of talking through "you" before they can claim thoughts as their own usually. Don't worry too much about who's talking/thinking, trust it'll become more clear with time. Persistence and faith are key.

 

I've never actually looked in-depth into the guides here because they mostly seem to be similar to what I came up with myself, so I might not know exact definitions of certain terms. I'd call the talking to your tulpa throughout the day passive-forcing though, and it's a really good habit to be in. Don't get too distracted when important things are going on, but tulpas basically require attention to exist, so every bit counts. They'll also appreciate later that you gave them attention even when they were unable to respond.

 

Got a bit carried away with the guiding and forgot to comment myself.. I recognize that K on your hand method as a reality checking technique I did myself - wrote an A for awake, and every time I saw it or thought about my hand I'd plug my nose and try to breathe through it.. I only did it for about a week and didn't see results so I stopped, but I wasn't very good at keeping my motivation up back then anyway. (For the record, it took me about a month of habitually reality checking before it showed up in my dreams.) I think it's a great use to use for your tulpa though, never even thought about making physical reminders. As of recent I just naturally remember to talk to them about what's going on, but for someone just starting that should be incredibly useful (and show quicker results than spontaneous reality checking..).

 

Uhm.. Reason for making a tulpa. Yes, I would typically recommend making a tulpa to those who don't have anyone they can talk to about life that would understand or accept them. I pretty much figure out questions of life for a living, a mixture of philosophy applied to psychology and maybe sociology. For a living meaning I'm going to university to get some credibility to what I have to say so that I can hopefully help others with what I've learned. (Wellthatseemedofftopic..) As you can probably guess, it's hard to find people I can talk to about this stuff, to this date I've found one person and it was only after years of being alone. (They're the one who introduced me to tulpa.info! :D) Reisen, Tewi and Flandre(whom I've had for a few years now) make very helpful and supportive life companions, having free access to my mind they often help me answer things I couldn't myself. They help keep me motivated and happy, and are generally nice to have around. So if any of that sounds useful to you, then - well, it's a good thing you're already so dedicated honestly. I've never seen someone do everything right from the start and keep it up for long, but so far you've shown a lot of promise.

 

 

That was a lot of text, but all the effort you're putting in warranted it. I'll keep watching this thread as long as I'm not too busy IRL (University and all) and give advice where I can. Keep up the good work, and tell Kayla my tulpas and I believe in her!

 

Danke! I appreciate the lengthy response-- the collection of information and advice you gave me is rather helpful, and does actually solve some questions that were bouncing around in my head that I had yet to have posted on here. Particularly, one of the most helpful and reliable pieces was on the vocal portion-- and you are right, I did know some issues have with vocalization. I, myself, have several of these problems-- every once in a while, a thought will popup, in my mind-voice. It often feels like Kayla said it, but I have difficulty telling currently; so, as you said, I will go along with it, and hope it all does get more and more clear over time.

 

Good news is I had an interesting experience today-- I shall add it to the progress report, later. As always, I appreciate the response-- especially the very lengthy one you sent! Also, I am glad you and your Tulpa's believe in Kayla! I appreciate it, and I am sure she appreciates it.


Reisen is cool. I like Reisen.

 

Oh and your progress report is great! Very organized, well-written, etc.

 

Thank you! I appreciate the praise; it does make me feel better about this whole thing-- I am often very nervous to share things with others, even when it comes to the internet. I shall be sure to keep adding on to the report. Danke!

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It's been a while since anyone has posted in here-- does anyone care to leave any comments or anything? Also, I shall be updating the past 2 days later on tonight, likely.

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It's been a while since anyone has posted in here-- does anyone care to leave any comments or anything?

Let's go into why you feel misunderstood by others.

 

Image1.png

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Let's go into why you feel misunderstood by others.

 

Image1.png

 

Interesting inquiry-- that could lead to a rather through-provoking conversation. It could likely stem from either BDP, or my inability to interact and comprehend others very well. It could even come from issues I had with my mother growing up, such as her drug addiction, or the mental, physical, and emotional abuse that had occurred under her guardianship.

 

I'm not trying to say that I'm "too deep" or anything for people to comprehend or understand me-- it is more likely that I don't understand myself entirely, and I cannot fully comprehend the concept that others can understand me more than I understand myself.

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