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Psycho and Tallis' Misadventures Through Tulpaland:)


PsychoLoverly

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Hello everyone:)

My name is Psycho:) (not my real name of course). I've been lurking here in the fourms for a while, and in the meanwhile started making a tulpa. It's been two and a half months now, so I kinda wanted to start documenting our progress:)

 

My tulpa is named Tallis. He is a human, standing at 5'11, with green eyes, and shaggy black hair that reaches his sholders. Tallis started as a CALD character (character assisted lucid dreaming) meant to help me achieve lucid dreams. One of the other people using this technique, brought to attention this site and the idea of a tulpa. A couple of us were intersted and decided to use are CALD characters and "upgrade" them into tulpae. This sounds very strange I know.

 

Here's a link to a CALD guide that will explain it better than I can:

http://www.ld4all.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=45760

 

Tulpa and CALD characters sound awefully alike right? I made Tallis on May 17th 2012. After creating him I had more LD's (LD = Lucid Dreams) but not once did I ever see him in a dream. Countless times I tried to summon him, but he would be altered and not the real Tallis. I would then hear, "When the time is right". So I knew that Tallis and his own thoughts, beliefs, and emotions. I only made him a basic personality, and he grew from it. He could speak on his own after awhile, and on a different forum, talking to other characters and people, he was able to fully express and develop vocabulary on his own. I talked to him all the time and feel his presence. Him and I would take mini adventures into my subconcous and had fun.

 

When discovering this site, he and I both agreed it was something we wanted to do. Looking a FAQman's and Irish_'s guides, we quickly got confused. Then we decided to go our own route. The guides were meant to create a character that wasn't already there. But Tallis was. So instead, since we kinda skipped personality and apperance, I looked up faces and bodys, and went to work to imagine him with a fully detailed body. Right now we are working on seeing him at different angles and shadows to make him more 3D.

 

Here's what he can do now:

* He has his own personality and apperance.

* I can see him in my mind's eye perfectally fine

* He can talk in full, coherent sentences in mindtalk.

* He has his own emotions, feelings, and beliefs.

* I can feel his presence and sometimes his actual touch.

 

So I know that doesn't sound like a lot, but for me and him it is. Some things we are working on is touch, smell, and making my brain believe he is sentient. I wasn't browsing a lot in the begining to find that believing in sentienece at the start helped, so we are having a bit of trouble with that. But, I'm sure we'll get it at some point :P

Tulpa:Tallis

About: Human, Male, around age 18. Black hair, green eyes, 5'11.

Personality: Sarcastic, intelligent, curious, playful, honest, kind, caring.

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Hi Psycho, glad you eventually made it over here. "Upgrading" is a really weird way to put it but I guess it's true. It does however make CALD seem inferior to tulpa. In some ways it is but since CALD involves dreaming where tulpa doesn't they are more like separate techniques that can be combined to make one really good one. After reading a lot of stuff here my guide feels pretty outdated so maybe I'll get around to an update. Maybe I'll call it TALD?

 

I never realized that our tulpa were so similar in age. Nova was created on May 16th 2012 making him a whole day older than Tallis. Too bad their varying age (13 and 18) ruins any illusions that might create.

 

I hope you two have some good luck now that you've started this log. Truly believing sentience can be tricky but I think it comes easier if you don't over think it. You probably already knew that though. Good luck.

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Thanks CyberD:) haha I think CALD and Tulpa are different only because of the intended purpose. But, the intended purpose for me when I decided to make Tallis a tulpa, was to be able to see him more during daily life, and use that to transfer in dreams. So to me CALD and Tulpa are just titles I give Tallis. The goal stayed the same lol, but I see what you mean.

 

Well I started Tallis on the 15th, and he finally talked the 17th. So we decided to mark that as his "Birthday" :) Still is crazy though. I think we started on Character Chats before you though ;D

 

What I was thinking of doing, was to self hypnotize myself using an mp3 file to personilze what my brain is listening to, and sleep with it on. Like a basic script of "I can see Tallis in my mind's eye and in this reality. I can touch, smell, and feel him. He is sentient." Kinda like a mantra but during sleep:P

 

[Hi Nova! How's the process going for you? Our's has been a little shaky:P]

 

Shush Tallis:P

Tulpa:Tallis

About: Human, Male, around age 18. Black hair, green eyes, 5'11.

Personality: Sarcastic, intelligent, curious, playful, honest, kind, caring.

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So you were pregnent for two days..... That's a really strong word to use for a tulpa though. The creation period would probably be a better way to define those two days but it wouldn't be as jaw-dropping at first glance :p

 

Keeping Tallis around more during the day would really help to transfer him to dreams. If Tulpa helps with that then by all means. I made Nova a tulpa for pretty much the same reason. Being present more often can only be a good thing and the information and techniques surrounding tulpa were too much to pass up.

 

I haven't had much luck with mantras but that's probably because I'm too scatterbrained to keep using the same one. If you're persistent they can be really useful though so keep at it.

 

Nova: @Tallis He doesn't give me any attention while he rants on his 'blog'.

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haha I guess I was:) I didn't know what else to call it, because I really didn't create anything..... Just the body.

 

I do like the idea of commnicating with my subconsious, and if Tulpa help that, I was all for it:)

 

I recorded it on my ipod, and using quicktime, I just make it loop as I fall asleep and dream. So I can be scatterbrained;)

 

[Neither does this one. You guys acheive any LD's recentally? This one's been slacking;p]

 

Brat.

Tulpa:Tallis

About: Human, Male, around age 18. Black hair, green eyes, 5'11.

Personality: Sarcastic, intelligent, curious, playful, honest, kind, caring.

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December 2rd, Before origanal post:

 

Well today, I tried Dialogues' tupper hynosis, and I got to talk to Tallis in a deeper way. I can't really explain it, we just fugired out what we kinda had to do. We decided to take it slow, and work on beliveing sentience right now. However, talking to Tallis, it's not my subconcious denying it, it's my concious doubts. So, gotta fix that problem. Ive been having weird dreams since this though, but only wake up with a feeling and no real recall.

 

December 3th, After origanal post

 

The more Tallis and I talk now, the more pressure in my head. I got these when I first made him, but I didn't think this would come back. Did Dialogues' hypnosis thing again and did a meditation session, using self hypnosis. I came out of it fully awake, but was physically tired. I tried to go to bed, but nothing worked. I tried laying as possibly still in my bed, a sleep hypnosis track that usaually puts me to sleep, laying on the couch, taking a hot bath, drinking warm milk, and even made hot chamamile tea. Finally at 7am I got to bed, only to wake up at 9am. I awoke with a headache and an upset tummy.

 

December 4th

 

I've almost got Tallis' voice down. We've been trying out different ones for a while but they really didn't suit him. We weren't trying it just kinda happened. Also trying to work on facial expressions. Sometimes I just put picture what facial expression he has, but it's getting better. We both decided that tonight we would just skip meditation for today, but that I really should work on a way to believe sentience. So I worked on a self hypnosis script for subliminal suggestions, and paired it with binarual beats music. Fell asleep pretty quickly.

 

 

December 5th

 

Tallis thinks that the script and music really helped. He is becoming more vivid in talking, facial expressions, and sometimes without me thinking of him, his image will just pop up in my mind's eye. We decided to countiue doing just this for a while and see how we do:)

Tulpa:Tallis

About: Human, Male, around age 18. Black hair, green eyes, 5'11.

Personality: Sarcastic, intelligent, curious, playful, honest, kind, caring.

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December 6th

 

We were looking through the forum yesterday and found a guide on possesion. Tried it out, while meditating, and holy crap it works! Tallis was only able to move my foot, but my whole body had random spazes and was tingly all over. Facial expessions and visualizing him talking is comeing easier the more I practice when he talks. Did the script again and I actually had a dream with him in it. He was talking, and I remembered it clearly. I finally found a mindvoice for him, as well as the voice I want him to have when Imposed. I think we are getting somewhere;)

Tulpa:Tallis

About: Human, Male, around age 18. Black hair, green eyes, 5'11.

Personality: Sarcastic, intelligent, curious, playful, honest, kind, caring.

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December 7th

 

We took a break today. Did nothing but chill out. Will do our meditation, but that's probably it.

Tulpa:Tallis

About: Human, Male, around age 18. Black hair, green eyes, 5'11.

Personality: Sarcastic, intelligent, curious, playful, honest, kind, caring.

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  • 2 weeks later...

So we haven't posted in a long time Tallis....

 

[Then do something about it.... ]

 

Finee.....

 

Tulpa and Family/Friends....

 

So I started telling my family and close friends about Tallis. My dad and some others just told me to be careful. A few others totally flipped their shit, and wanted me tested for a mental illness. Funnily enough, the younger or more childlike the person, the more they were willing to accept him. Yesterday, I told the three of my most closest friends of mine, while we were hanging out. Billy, could only think of it as like a stragedy for touture. Monty, couldn't even understand. And Vicky, Flipped her shit, and started going into MPD and how I could be showing symtoms. All I could say to them, was that this was my life. I'll do what I want. With having Tallis longer and longer, I'm starting to wonder how much he will effect my life. I didn't expect so much... misunderstanding he would cause. Will I give him up? No. Though it does make me wonder how long can I keep him? How much in the future will this effect me and my life? If anyone has had a tulpa for a long time, maybe you could share your experience with me?

 

 

Impostion vs Possesion?

 

While stalking the other forums, A lot of talk is being made of people doing possesion instead of impostion. I'm trying out possesion, as I wait till I'm ready to start imposing. I'm begining to get his smell down, I lost his voice (second time now), and I keep trying to change his face all the time. So I'm working on that and possesion. He does want to start imposing but understands I want everything to go perfectally. I know he can deviate, and I'm fine with that, but I want the first form to be perfect. I have no idea why. I'm not even a perfectionst. Oh well.

 

 

Tulpa's feelings and Your's

 

Does anyone else sometimes feel that their feelings are mixing with, or enhanced because of their Tulpa? Well me and Tallis have experieced a bit of this. When my friends expressed their opionions of tulpa, me and Tallis were both pissed. That time I was able to recongize it, and calm down. A previous time, I was not able to recongize it, and long story short, I slapped someone, and felt extremly bad about it ( I cried for an hour). I'm not like that at all, but I have been know during times of stress and such that I can be violent. Do I think it was all Tallis? Nope. Do I think he enhanced my anger a bit, putting me just over the edge, that I did do it? Yep. Anyone else experience this, or am I a lone ranger over here?

 

 

Well, with that all out there, the only thing left is the progress. I can smell Tallis. At random times, as though he walked by, I can smell his scent. Talking is better too, we have conversations much faster now. Image is almost done, thought I had it down, but I keep changing his face when I try to imagine him. Idk why. We've tried pink and white noise, but I get nothing out of it. Considering trying Fede's tones. I can sence him in a room, and fell pressure around me when he touches me. Haven't tried touching him yet, I'm not great at imagining the feel of skin or clothing. Will try later though. We'll try to write more in here, but when I'm logged on here, I'm mostly reading. [/b]

Tulpa:Tallis

About: Human, Male, around age 18. Black hair, green eyes, 5'11.

Personality: Sarcastic, intelligent, curious, playful, honest, kind, caring.

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I believe people like Irish and Glitch are the ones you should be speaking to in terms of discussing the experience of having tuppers for a longer span of time than just <= 10 months.

 

Doing possession instead of imposition seems rather dumb. The only reason so many people like to train possession here is either because of video games, or so their tuppers can whore themselves out on the IRC channels, you know, instead of the host being productive and spending his time actively imposing and practicing touch or voice, for instance.

 

Last one I can relate to, but luckily, Pinkie has a very warmhearted personality. This has caused me to over time grow strong urges to squee at things, smile a lot more, or for instance become much more emotionally affected at sad or cute things, like animals or some random happy/sad moment in a film or series. Though, I like to believe the submission fetish I have has caused the affection to develop a lot more smoothly, but that's for another bedtime story.

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