Jump to content

Silence's Progess Log


Silence

Recommended Posts

So, this is my first post on this website at all, and the way I see it, I should get straight to the point. I learned about tulpas merely a few days ago, and I was extremely interested. I was skeptical, but still interested. My friend was supposed to do this with me, but he is schizophrenic, and it caused too many complications when he was meditating, so he quit on it. I, on the other hand, did not, though I am still fairly blind on what I am doing. So, I'm creating a progress log, mostly to see how people feel I am doing with my creation. I could use any criticism or validation for my ideas, because I need confidence to work with. That is my biggest problem it seems, confidence. Well, let's get started, shall we?

 

Day 1

 

Midday, I closed my curtains, turned off my light and fan, and closed my eyes. I am using the wonderland approach, and mine is rather basic. Merely a white room, with a couch, and chair for my tulpas body to be propped on. The first session in the room, I narrated to her, just talked to her, told her who she is, who I am, stuff like that. It was rather basic, and covered only about twenty minutes. I was yanked out of my session when my stepmother came in and asked me to watch my siblings while she left. I became dazed, and I'm not sure why. I guess that I had become acclimated to my visualization, and I was ripped out of it and pulled back into the real world. It lasted for a few seconds, and I decided to be done for now. Later that night, I returned to my mind, after I did some more research on tulpa personality. I decided to created a dark space in my mind, where blackness spans for as far as I can see. While this sounds like I see all of this vividly, I don't. I can barely visualize these things, I just do my best to know that I am there. I pictured four jars to my right, sitting on a(random) shelf. Each one was labeled with a personality; intelligent, social, curious, and sarcastic. I would fill the jar with what I consider to be water, one by one. I would then grab the jar, and imagine myself putting my own [glowing light blue] energy into it. I would pour each jar of energy-related liquid into what was at the time a ball with an opening at the top. I followed this process four times over, and by the end of it, I decided that the ball would be a bowl. This seemed much more practical. By now I had covered about thirty minutes of time. I put myself back into my white room, and decided to put up a table in front of the couch for the bowl to be placed on. I talked to the bowl, which I knew to be the beginnings of my tulpa. I didn't say much, just a few sentences, basic stuff, nothing special. At that point, I decided to take the liquid in the bowl, and use my hands to spin it into a ball. Once it seemed solid enough, I grabbed it, and proceeded to put more of my own energy into it. At that point, I was finished for the night. I got in the shower, but what was weird was that as I was in the shower, my heart started racing. It was beating harder than I had ever felt it. What was so odd was that it was not accompanied by fear, or any other emotion that I can account for.

 

Day 2

 

Shortly after I woke up, I decided to go back into my room to force. I put myself back into my dark space, and began with the pouring of the emotions again. Same process as before, but this time, I began to get a headache within twenty or so minutes, so I quit. Still on day two as of now. Been talking to my tulpa. Her name is Evelynn now. I like the name, and I hope she keeps it. I guess it is up to her in the end.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yeah, don't be afraid of the headaches. They're gonna happen. Unless it literally feel like your skull's going to split open or it's just too damn distracting, just roll with it. Your brain's not used to working like this, so the headaches are to be expected.

Reply has ended. You can stop reading now.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Alright, still on day 2. I just merged the personality energy with the host body. No response though I didn't really expect one. From here on out, I shall be working on things from the body of Evelynn itself. I have four main traits, being intelligence, sociability, curiosity, and sarcasm. Three minor traits developed from these. for intelligence, I got laid back. For Sociability, there is friendliness. For sarcasm, envy developed shortly before the merging process. For some reason, it was a bit easier to do all of this and focus a bit better with the song "Remember the Name" by Fort Minor playing. In that three minutes, with badass music going. I managed to do another round of pouring the personalities into the bowl. I created a ball out of the energy, which was bright light blue, and I forced it into Evelynn's body. As I said, no response, and Im making sure not to parrot. I have now found that as far as my wonderland goes, it is easier to picture my white room from a security camera sort of third-person type view.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hello! Welcome to the forums!

 

Just a few questions...

 

1) What relationship are you looking for in your tulpa?

 

2) Are you willing to spend the rest of your life with your tulpa?

 

3) How do you think your tulpa will feel when you get a real family? (Discredit this if you don't want to contribute to the gene pool.)

 

Thanks! And welcome to the forum!

 

PM me for questions!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1) Friendship, and one to better my mind

 

2) Yes, if it proves fruitful, which it most likely will

 

3) No clue man

 

Thanks for the fast response!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...