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southphalen's progress log


Guest southphalen

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Guest southphalen

Hi, I started my tulpa about 8 days ago and I realized I needed to make this log to help keep my thoughts together and to help remember how far in I am. I don't keep track of days or hours very well, so writing it down here will be useful to me. This will probably be more of a benefit to me, than anyone else.

 

My first day, I created a wonderland and worked on personality, telling her over and over again what she's like. Her name is Quinn. It's difficult to find different ways to say 'you are x' for 5 minutes for each trait, so I move on to narrating quickly, telling her everything I can think of (which can also be difficult). I see her as a haze right now with an infinite complexity inside because I'm going to create her form during visualization.

 

Day two, more of the same forcing and I feel a noticeable head pressure during forcing and at various times throughout the day since I've got involved in this; a feeling I've usually only had when reading a really good and engaging book, or watching a very satisfying season finale or movie. After narrating for more than hour, I got a headache. I rarely get headaches (I don't think I've had one this year) so this was unusual.

 

The rest of the week, I force, and I narrate manga, video games, and tv shows to her. I like to force before bed and narrate my day in reverse chronological order and talk about what i'm going to do tomorrow. That's an easy way to put in atleast an hour per day.

I change her name to Aika, and then I change it to Atashi, but that still doesn't sound right to me. I'm hoping she will pick her own name, and also help with her image and the wonderland, too. I am not a creative or decisive person, and that's why I'm giving her a very creative and decisive personality!

 

I'm taking a slower approach to this because reading all these threads on people saying their tulpae talked in 2 days is unsettling. I feel if someone can create a tulpa that quickly, they might take it for granted.

I'm going to start on visualization this week though because I think going as slow as FAQ man's guide is overkill.

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I change her name to Aika, and then I change it to Atashi...

 

I gasped for a moment, but then when you said you changed it, I was like phew. One of my tulpa is named Aika, lol. Good luck on your tulpa though.

I have 10 tulpas, but I'm only actively working on Reah, my first tulpa currently.

Progress Report

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Guest southphalen

So the day before yesterday, I decided to tulpaforce after taking codeine. I figured meditation would be easy in that ...state. But instead, it completely numbed any ability to force or visualize and the resulting nausea made me too sick to force for the rest of the day.

 

That's the least productive I've been all week, and I feel bad about it. Anyone looking to experiment, keep in my mind it did not work for me at all.

 

I gasped for a moment, but then when you said you changed it, I was like phew. One of my tulpa is named Aika, lol. Good luck on your tulpa though.

 

Thanks. I forgot your tulpa's name was Aika, sorry! I found it on a names website. I guess you'll be hoping she doesn't pick that name for herself when she's able.

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Guest southphalen

I started working on visualization yesterday and that's a lot of fun. Atashi is an anime-style girl. I can't wait for her to deviate. Today, I used that technique of giving her a skeletal structure to help her body move properly and it actually worked really well. I will have to try this with a muscular system, cardiovascular system, nervous system, etc. or whatever seems necessary.

 

One thing that concerns me is that I can't feel her presence as strongly in her body as I could when she was just a haze. Did anybody who used the FAQ style notice this? Maybe she is just getting used to her body or is dealing with the change?

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Guest southphalen

I visualize Atashi multiple times a day for about 45 minutes at a time. My imagination is not very good, so I need to memorize her and my wonderland thoroughly.

 

While creating her form, I tried to give her a lighter brown hair colour, but it just would not hold for some reason. So I tried dark hair and it stayed easy. The same thing happened with her eyes. While trying to give her purplish-blue eyes, it was hard to keep visualizing. Then when I closed them once and opened them, they were brown. And they stayed in shape easily. I don't know if this is deviation or my imagination having an easier time with certain colours, but I like her look anyway.

 

I've been putting organ systems in her like one of the guides suggested, I think, it has worked quite well. I do this by laying her down and lowering transparent stem cells throughout her body that grow into (skeleton, muscles, nerves, etc.) once inside her. I'm tell her what she's capable of doing and narrate in general. I have to concentrate to match it all up with her body correctly. I gave her a muscular system yesterday and since then, if I stand her up, she will stay standing. Although shortly after, she started convulsing and I couldn't stop her. This was a little frightening. So I laid her down, kept her still, and gave her a nervous system (including brain). Now she doesn't convulse and if I hold onto her, she can walk with me.

 

I think she is moving somewhat on her own now. Since I gave her a brain, she has been able to walk with me, hold onto me if I carry her, or turn away to not co-operate (when I was trying to work on her hair, the bangs are the hardest part!). I think she was tired. I have not heard her voice yet, and advice from the chat was to listen harder. So I will do that, and tomorrow I will give her a cardiovascular and respiratory system. Given how successful this technique has been for me, it should help her greatly. I also need to finish creating her face, this has been very hard. I keep crossing between real life and anime, I think, and her face is not staying stable. Maybe I should dedicate a whole session to it.

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Guest southphalen

I keep on visualizing, but progress is slow, like the slowest it's been. I guess it'll be worth the time once her face and hair are right. She will move with little effort though. But she only does stuff I want to do, like walk to a different place with me. That might sound like parroting, but I don't even think about moving her with my mind, she just comes along. And I don't believe simple parroting like this is bad anyway. I can't wait for her to do something unexpected.

 

The thing that really worries me though, is that she seems so disinterested during tulpaforcing or maybe she's just unresponsive. I still get headpressure, but no emotional responses yet. I hope the more time and attention I give her, the more she'll try to communicate in an effective way. I've had a bad couple of days, and I'm thinking it might have had an effect on her, like she can feel how I'm feeling too.

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Talking in 2 days? I'm quite new to tulpa's aswell but there are still people I wonder about. I have my doubts about alot of people if they actually say who they are and if their progress is really where they say they are. I'm on day 10 and so far and I think she talked twice to me. Both were in my voice in my mind and all that made me think it was my tulpa was because of the way it was said. Anyways I think that people who take the time to write a progress report and update it daily are much more serious about it then others. So I wish you the best of luck.

You like my kitten? come on over for a closer inspection!

 

Newbie tulpamancer on the loose.

 

Check out my progress report:

http://tulpa.info/forums/Thread-Another-Lyra-tulpa

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Guest southphalen

I've taken up the habit of forcing while sitting in bed, which everybody probably knows is a bad idea. But I have to learn the hard way. My sleeping has gone into polyphasic mode because of this. Little to no production done.

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Guest southphalen

I can visualize Atashi quite well now. Every day she's clearer and easier to see. I have been visualizing her in a void half the time so the wonderland doesn't distract me. I think that works quite well.

 

A couple days ago, I believe she said her first words, even though it sounded exactly like my mindvoice. I believe it was her because it came out of nowhere and I couldn't trace it back to anything I was thinking. She said 'plastic bags.' It was completely irrelevant to whatever I was talking about and I don't know why she said it.

 

Yesterday, I was asking her simple questions, like I do every day in hope that she answers. I asked "What is your favorite kind of tea, black or green?" She said "Blue" almost immediately and it echoed almost as fast (or she said it twice, excitedly? I'm not sure). I did not expect that coming and was quite surprised at that answer, so I knew it wasn't me. I said I'll have to try blue tea sometime cause I've never heard of it. She didn't answer any more questions.

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