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Styxx and Raven progress log


StyxxnStones

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As the title would suggest, I'm going to use this thread as a way to document my progress with my tulpa, Raven. It should be noted that I am making this thread after already beginning the process and advancing to a certain stage. I did not make a thread earlier because I feared not sticking with the plan, and besides, the first few weeks are boring anyway.

 

Since the first chunk of my progress is obviously missing, I'll give a run down of all the relevant info anyone would be interested in up to this point.

 

Tulpa basics:

Name:

Raven. She actually "chose" this name on her own. Now I don't mean to imply that she is completely vocal now, for that would be a lie. However, when I first heard her say a few phrases, I asked her to pick a name, and the word 'Raven' as well as the image of the bird appeared in my head. It is very possible I parroted this, but the way I see it, once Raven becomes fully vocal and decides she doesn't like the name, she is more than welcome to change it.

 

Form:

This is a confusing issue for me. At first, my tulpa's form was that of a female-demon like creature, she had red skin, a tail, one horn, and a snaggle tooth. Over my various visualization sessions, these aspects started to disappear one after the other. This continued until a few days ago, when her skin color changed to a pale Caucasian shade with pure blonde hair. Her form is now that of a normal human female, with blonde hair styled in a "punk" or "scene" short haired style. Basically this but shorter. That picture is a good facial representation as well. She has bright, green eyes and two lip piercings on her bottom lip. Body shape wise, she is very curvy, with wide hips and large breasts. Her clothing varies.

 

Current stage of development:

She is currently sentient and mobile, although this no longer seems to be a large milestone because of how we all assume our tulpas are sentient from the get go. As I've mentioned before, my tulpa is not vocal. More accurately, I am not able to listen to her yet. I've heard her say small phrases and quotes, but these are fleeting and usually caused me to flip out. Doubt still plagues me every time I get close to a breakthrough here, and I must learn to overcome if Raven and I are to advance together. I am currently trying out Bin's method of "Coaxing into talking" in order to further our communication skills.

 

This does not mean Raven and I cannot communicate. Early on in her development, I learned to sense her "presence." What I mean by that is whenever I interact with her or talk to her I can feel a pressure in the back of my neck. This pressure intensifies depending on her mood as far as I can tell. Regardless, it is a pretty good indication of whether I am making progress and gives me something to focus on.

 

When I force, I try to focus much on visualization, because I feel like this is my weakest point. I am also trying to get in the habit of constant narration, however this is not going well, as I always forget. Personality has pretty much been throw to the side as it seems wrong/strange to create a personality in something already sentient. I'm pretty sure any of the traits I attempted to put in when I began have been useless anyway, so I'm not very heartbroken about it. I'll just have to wait till I can communicate fully with her before I can determine what kind of personality she has. What I can tell already however, is that she is rather sentimental and somewhat mischievous.

I doubt I will update this thread everyday. I will probably only post if something big or interesting happens.

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Yay, I started my prog log today as well, comrade!

Day 290 (11/6/2013) Why even keep the time anymore?

Can the cryogenically frozen live again?

The first step in creating a tulpa is believing that it exists.

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