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Heyya people. Been around for a bit, and I'm absolutely terrible at this stuff. By a bit, I mean I joined early last summer, been actually working a month or two longer. So I'll be a year in a month or so.

When I started out, I was super enthusiastic, but after about two weeks of solid "Trying", for lack of a better word, I found that I'm absolutely terrible at: Visualizing, Narrating.

And since the activities in question are, ya know, pretty much the whole friggin process, I've done pretty terribly up until now.

Everything just feels like a chore. Waking up and saying good morning to Miri, saying goodnight, just speaking.. I'm always at a loss for words. I mean, put me in front of someone who can reply, who I can actually tell is hearing me, and I could go on forever. But so far, she hasn't really given me anything to make it easier. That, or I just can't see it. One or the other.

And then there's just the whole visuals thing. Sometimes I can get a really.. How I describe, off and on image, where it fades in for half a second, then goes away for a while, back and forth, but then there are (longer than I'd like) periods of time where I can't see anything at all.

I generally manage like, nine minutes of narration on an average day, two minutes visuals, then like, twenty minutes combined on a weekend, because it's all just so.. Unworth it, or so it seems. I feel like I should be enjoying it, but I really don't.

Tonight, I managed to push myself for a solid thirty-forty minutes of narration, but it's the first time in a good while.

Anyone have some advice on making things easier? Bit more enjoyable, maybe?

Just some personal thoughts and opinions is all I'd like, really. Thanks in advance.
If you only knew what all this cost - What she gave up, just to save her art

What is fashion, fashion without love? Like an odradek, a spool without purpose

Lolflash - click it, you know you want to

Many people will disagree but I think you should try initial parroting for a week or so... its fun...puppet or parrot the tulpa according to its personality for a week then immediatey or slowly stop the whole puppet/parroting routine and build a wonderland too.
I feel like guides don't go over this enough, mildly related thought.

Even though you really are supposed to ask a lot of questions and wait for an answer (if she isn't done yet), if you need to, just try rambling to her about stuff. Treat her like a diary, tell her about your day, thoughts, opinions, even rant to her. You can also do more passive stuff like reflecting on things IRL or in the wonderland.

It'll be more fun when she can talk and actually butt in with quips.
Scarlet - anime, 8/15/2012
CH666 - I actually have very, very big issues with parroting.

Some months ago, maybe around September, I decided to respond to myself on some narration. Well, it was me replying, but I figured if I told myself it wasn't, it might become routine, and I'd forget it was even me. Effectively a Tupper!

Well.. I did forget something, after a while. Telling myself it wasn't for long enough did a great job of suppressing the memory of actually starting to reply. Although, that didn't help that it still didn't feel right. It still felt like me, so for a couple months, I'm going about, wondering why it feels so shallow. Why every response seems to echo through my head before it comes out, and she couldn't start conversations herself, say anything I didn't figure she was gonna say, etc.

Well, I kinda snap out of it, and think "Okay, let's just be sure, here." I cleared my mind, asked a question, and made sure I wasn't parroting the response, aaand.. Nothing. "Well, alright then." Soo, I go on, blah blah blah, and it happens again. Early this year, maybe late last year. I got out of it a month or two back, and now I'm kinda ruined for a lot of things.

For one, faith is completely out of the window, for me. It has to feel right. It can't feel fake, or I'm afraid it'll happen again.

And.. Erm.. Kinda can't build a wonderland.. Didn't you see the "Can't visualize" thing? I mean, I can sometimes get a little room made up, but that's all I can handle, and it's very.. Flickery.. Like how I described it up there.

Bin - narration is difficult for me. I'm not really that knowledgable about anything, and I'm not kidding when I say nothing new happens from day to day. I wake up, go to school, sleep through every class. I'm failing the ninth grade AGAIN, I don't have friends at school to speak to, so I can't narrate what we talked about, I come home, I sleep. I wake up a few hours later, browse the Internet, go back to sleep, repeat the process.

Could I talk about some of the funny pictures I've read? "This one had this punchline, and it was pretty funny..." Maybe. I don't think I can go in depth on much of anything, though. Even things I /guess/ I'm kiiiinda knowledgeable on, like music, I don't have anything to say about. "I like this song. I wonder what synths this guy uses. Sounds cool" and the like. It just doesn't seem like much to me..

Idunno. I don't like thinking about much else in reality. The past few weeks have kinda been tough. Got kicked out of the house, brought back, DnD night has been cancelled for like, five weeks in a row now, and that's the highlight of existing right now..

I've talked about it all I guess, but.. It just feels like she already knows. And it's hard to explain something to someone who already knows what I'm talking about, without feeling kinda dumb, I guess..

Eh. I'm kinda just waiting for /some/ kinda response, here. My first discernible head pressures, or wave of emotion.. For as lazy as I've been lately, I've still put in a loooot more time than I was under the impression I'd be putting in before getting some signs of sentience. Maybe when I finally do, narrating will be easier.

How exactly do you go about narrating? It's so hard for me.

EDIT: lemme kinda clear something up

I understand that she's still me, and that a lot of people's Tuppers do feel like them in the early stages. But for the entire time, each time I was parroting, it was just so pathetic, the speech. A few words a sentence, a painful, paaainfully blatant feeling that it was hardly her. I don't know why I kept on, but if that's how it actually does feel for months, with no real improvement in sight, I'm scared to move on at all.
If you only knew what all this cost - What she gave up, just to save her art

What is fashion, fashion without love? Like an odradek, a spool without purpose
You sound kinda like you understand tulpas TOO much. Um. I mean to say, you KNOW your tulpa friend is pretty much all just you, and that makes it super super hard. You don't let your head be fooled enough to let the thought form act separate from you. I feel like that's part of the problem. I don't know enough about parroting to say anything on that, though.

You know how you kinda just talk CONSTANTLY in your head? People never stop thinking. Never. Always rambling or imagining something. That's what I figure narration to be, only more focused. Like talking to yourself, but with your tulpa there. People probably use narration to set things up like a plot, but I don't. I just talk. I imagine him there and talk. About whatever- things that happened, things that will happen, things that might happen. Don't put a ton of thought into it. Just like being alone in a room and speaking out loud to yourself, only you're in your head and your tulpas there. Even if the tulpa doesn't reply, or you think it doesn't hear or understand you, just talk. I don't think you need a wonderland (from what I've heard from others) so you don't have to be all fancy and narrate yourself into the world if it's too tough.

I hope that helps a little with way of thinking; gotta be careful about the way you view processes. Even if it doesn't help I wanted to put in my two cents. c:>
“From my rotting body,
flowers shall grow
and I am in them
and that is eternity.”
#6 can't visualise much haha strange I never had much problem with it maybe that also means you can't think of tulpa's form?
Then do this when you close your eyes instead of darkness see there a coloured world made up of like light red,white,light-blue or purple light you can do that can't you?(don't need to visualise any other detail just the world made of coloured light and no problem if it changes colour from time to time)Think of this place as wonderland deep in your unconcious mind.Your tulpa can be just a voice or speaking smoke for now.That way you can easily visualize I guess.
And about narrating aside from greetings you can talk about things like if you are playing a game you can ask your tulpa about your next move(even if it doesn't talk) or if your teachers boring you can talk about that or continously "pretend" to talk to your tulpa during various situations like this.
Even if that doesn't work you can make a daemon like soul voice tulpa.
Patchlamb - I try and tell myself that Miriam is someone else, for sure. When I do manage to talk, I do like I would another person. Albeit a mute who doesn't know how to communicate.. Or so I can see, at this point.

But the general idea seems to be that, yes, it's you. It's just a matter of disassociating with the replies, and automating them. Or something.

My parroting was clearly doing neither, so I cut it off, so whatever.

Anyway, I like your interpretation of narration. I'll have to keep the concept in mind. The whole "The mind is always rambling, or imagining something" bit, anyway. My issue is just getting the words together. Do I speak to myself? Yes. When I am, are my thoughts lengthy, and complete? Yes. So what I can't figure out, is why it's so much more damned difficult when I'm trying to narrate. I just feel so awkward, and can never go on about anything. Or even think of anything, for that matter. Everything just draws blank..

CH666 - Erm.. I see no colors. It's pure black. Albeit with a kinda dark greenish tint, and the general static you get with closed eyes. No, I can't do anything with the static, I've tried. Also no, I'm not trying to see images on the backs of my eyelids.. My mind's eye just normally draws blank. I can get faint images, for very short amounts of time, but they aren't an awful big help.

And I do have a form, sir! Well, I've messed around with a few of them, anyway. I'm kindof okay with getting a locational feel for her, and in that, I get light imagery, but it's not much to go off of. It's just wherever I want her to be, or wherever's convenient.

Don't understand that last comment, though. What about Daemons? I'm honestly not very educated on 'em.
If you only knew what all this cost - What she gave up, just to save her art

What is fashion, fashion without love? Like an odradek, a spool without purpose
Thinking that your tulpa is kind of manifestation of your suppressed personality or your concience.Use it as a base for your tulpa.Thats what I mean with last line.
Wow. Woooow. i have absolutely the same damned problem. When I narrate, talk to Mirraine (her shortname is Miri too, lol), I feel and believe that I'm talking to her. But for some unknown reason it's really hard. Sometimes I think that I'm just making random sounds. For example, I've tried to tell her my opinion on Ukraine. And suddenly... I don't remember. Or I don't know. Or i don't have an opinion. But I've discussed this topic with friends alot. I always repeat myself and stuff, but I guess it's fine. The biggest concern to me is that i'm not giving her enough time. I'm narrating for an hour or two per day. maybe the problem is that I've put her into the physical object until she's sentient and can help me do a form for her. And if I'm doing something, I can't narrate. So there goes this big fat concern - will she ever evolve if I will continue narrating like that?
CH666 - Sounds entirely too obscure.

Kristian_Rebel - Exactly. I could speak with a friend for hours about say, different Keyboards, maybe some different kinds of music, but when I bring it up with Miriam, I don't have anything to say. Like I said up there, It's just hard to talk about some things, because she's already a part of me, and probably knows. Even trying to get past that fact, I draw blank.

I think that if you're giving an hour or two a day, you'll be fine. Me, I can hardly manage thirty minutes on the best of days. I average maybe an hour a week, if I'm on my A-game. These days, anyway. Used to be better, but eh.

That's probably why progress is so slow for me, but whatever. Just need a way to make it all feel worthwhile, and not dread doing work every day.
If you only knew what all this cost - What she gave up, just to save her art

What is fashion, fashion without love? Like an odradek, a spool without purpose

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