[Switching] Am I Confusing Our State of Consciousness For the Host's Presence?
#31
(06-19-2019, 11:19 PM)Ember.Vesper Wrote: We have "front-stuck" sub-systems like conscious awareness and ingrained habits, but none of them are person-like. They don't think, they don't analyze, they don't decide. Cumulatively, they perceive and react on a very primitive level. I wouldn't apply the servitor label to any of it, because so far as I am aware, they're all naturally occurring. If there was a servitor who was the front or could handle the front on their own, I think it wouldn't be necessary for one of us to always be at the front.

-Ember

I was thinking more along the lines of some body program like a habit that I merged with, but in retrospect it sounds improbable...

While talking to Indigo, he and the other Felights came up with a way better metaphor. If the body is a computer, than whoever is switched in is the Windows operating system. Possession is like running a virtual machine of Linux even though Windows is still running.

I always felt like where Windows was installed was in the front, so I wondered if I was the front. Indigo said that their host Radio is back-stuck, so I think it's safe to say that no, I'm not the front. The only problem now is figuring out where the hell Windows is installed.

(06-19-2019, 11:19 PM)Ember.Vesper Wrote: When any of us merge, the parts of the merge are just gone, utterly. They can't be contacted, can't be felt, and certainly can't decide to end the merge. The merge feels utterly joined, utterly stable, yet all it takes to split is for the merge to decide to split. So, not at all what you've experienced.

Also, any pair of us can only form a single merge. Merges can be molded and remolded, but regardless of the technique of merger and regardless of changes in personality, each merge has a continuing sense of identity from one merging to the next. So, again not what you've described.

-Ember

In this case, I either merged with Ranger incorrectly or something about me being front-stuck is interfering... but I'm not sure what.
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#32
We do liken switching to changing which hard drive a computer is using (in case any of you don't know, it's easy to have multiple hard drives attached to and running in a computer at the same time, they work just like a storage device regardless of having an operating system installed on them or not). I think a problem that causes being "front-stuck", with this metaphor, is the host thinking that they are the entire computer and everything that goes on in it, rather than just one (optional) hard drive. They've always been the hard drive the computer used, since it was made!

But it's really not so hard to install an OS (learn to switch) on another one that's also connected, and switch to using that one instead. Actually, tulpas and hosts switching is easier than switching hard drives I think.. But if the host thinks that the computer functioning at all means they're still fronting, you're gonna have some issues. Tulpamancy unfortunately isn't as cut and dry as literal computers, and the subjectivity of it all plays a huge part in how it goes for a system. At this point (as in after all our years on the forum), we're starting to believe that how a system thinks they work actually has real effects on how they work. And I think that's why thinking about switching wrong could cause front-stuck-ness.

Of course I can't tell if that's your or the Felights' problem! It's just a general concern we have for people having trouble with switching.
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#33
It's possible our goal is to switch hard-drives and we call that a true switch. It may be different for other systems, but having Windows running means that everything feels a little bit like Windows... the influence is what's annoying and I'm desperate to crawl out of. Otherwise, that Windows feel will ruin me feeling completely free and independent.

Cat feeling front-stuck or not doesn't change that Windows "feel". Becoming more aware of how switching works nor any of our ideasĀ forced Cat into a deeper front-stuck position.
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#34
I was Bear a lot longer than Cat was Cat, and was associated with a body longer, I am uttey gone when I go dormant, nothing left. If I was the operating system or any peice of necessary operating app or hardware, then system crash would happen.

A switch was a very profound experience. There's nothing like it in that when it happens you really know, especially when you go dormant. It's not nearly as hard as swapping a hard drive or even rebooting the system, it's as easy as closing Microsoft word and opening google docs.

That's how it's described, that's my experience too. When anyone is switched in, front, and I'm dormant, they are the body just like a singlet, just like a Cat, just like a Bear. They can willfully block everyone and hog the body and mind. Dashie did, Ashley did, Ren did, even Joy did it last week.

So no, you're not important or necessary to run the body. Whether you're willing to fully trust or give up 100% of the control, for whatever reason, is another problem entirely.
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#35
Figuring out how to switch seems to be the problem, actually. It's a purely subjective experience every system needs to figure out on their own. Unfortunately, I don't have an answer for you guys, although I tried to think of one. All we can do is give maybe-unhelpful hints in the right direction..
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