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Tech, and Rose's Progress Report
#1
First and foremost apologies for a lot of text.

Well I guess this will be my formal introduction to the forums since this will be the first thing I post, anyways let me just dive right in.

I've decided over about a month of contemplation to finally start the process of creating a tulpa. It took some consideration and a lot of time to think before I took on a task such as this but I've decided I'm ready to begin the commitment, and ill start my first forcing session today and update this once I'm done, It probably wont be anything to important but ill go ahead and start with what I've planned out recently.

To start off it took me a while to decide a form, and in the beginning i was going to allow her, and for her I've decided to call her "Rose" for now and let her change it if she pleases. But back on topic, as for her form I've heard a lot of horror stories of identity issues, and disregarding those I've decided to model my form not exactly but after a character I'm rather fond of. Before you sigh and go off ranting about how it can be bad I decided to choose this form for many reasons, and as i know she wont lead up to be that character nor do I want her to I think the form is rather beautiful and cute, and I hope she will find it to same, it has nothing to do with the character herself I find the form extremely beautiful and hope she does two. (I think I just repeated that, oh well) As for the identity issues I'm going to make sure she knows that she is her own person and does not have to thrive to be this character, she can live to be herself and not worry about anything but that. Just so she knows she is herself and her form is merely a beautiful form nothing else, and if she wishes to change it so be it, ill accept and treat her the same no matter what. I think thats enough I'm afraid I'll start aimlessly rambling if I continue. Anyways heres a sketch I did of the form, sorry its only a head-shot

[Image: AqZR8sL]

I just realized I'm going to have a hard time with visualizing a side view, ill probably work on a sketch before I start, or just start with a blob until I figure out her form from top to bottom.

Once I start my forcing ill probably start with a personality outline and depending on how long that takes i might work on form for a while. but this session will probably be fully personality. the list of traits I have so far, and they aren't set in stone I'm going to select a few and let her figure out the rest. I should probably start calling her Rose instead of Her ill have to make a habit of that. Anyways heres a list of possible traist I might give Rose.

Clever*
Compassionate*
Creative
Daring
Deep
Educated*
Humorous*
Leisurely
Realistic*
Romantic*
Sensitive*
Sympathetic*
Trusting*
Complex
Cute*
Self-conscious
Skeptical
Stylish
Nonreligious**
Careless/Carefree*
Childish (To a Extent)
Clumsy*
Demanding
Obsessive*
Quirky
Sadistic
Shy*

Now I just wrote down what seemed admirable or interesting and the ones I have a star by are ones I definitely want, or highly considering. I wont focus too much on this as I want her some freedom as I chose her form, which I initially didn't want to do

I have a wonderland figured out but I wont bore you with that this post, its already rather long.

Ill keep this updated as I go and today is her official birthday if thats even a thing, 4/17/2014 I hope this to be a fun process and cant wait to meet her!
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#2
4/17/2014

First Forcing session:

It was fun I talked to Rose a a lot and covered some personality traits and told her that shes her own person regardless of her form, and with that said she can change her form as she pleases. I kindof started off with an introduction and told her who I am and how much fun were going to have together.

I tried to cover 4 traits today, Educated, Romantic, Trusting, and Non-religious. I ended up completely forgetting about the trustworthy trait and replaced it with overall cuteness. I started out by telling her that she is each one of these and explained a little bit but not so much in depth, and then tried some symbolism and fed her some jam each one representing a trait. I started to take her to swim, more symbolism and each swimming poll be a certain trait and have her dive into it, but i cam to the realization maybe she cant swim and gave that thought up. I eventually showed her around the wonderland well what I knew was there. I ended up going over more traits with rose and eventually went up to our room and tucked her into be and lied down as well and then snapped back into reality

I forced for about and hour 2:45-50 to 3:47 so about an hour, and I've decided to count how long i force but not put the hours together as a whole, as some say it can be harmful, I do it so I can know how long I spent with her that day.

I had a few problems one is I don't actually know if I'm visualizing or not, at first all I saw was black but i think after I actually got into it i was more thinking I was their while its hard to explain if I actually saw anything in my minds eye, although I'm not sure ill just have to work on it and experiment some more.

I also had the problem where I would lose focus for either short amounts of time and snap back to rose, and maybe long amounts I'm not sure either because I was completely spaced out and don't remember, Its also possible I fell asleep or just spaced out for a long time or a little more than usual. Although every time I did I knew where I was supposed to be and said sorry to rose for losing focus, and said I would work on it a lot.

I know your supposed to treat her as if she is sentient from day one, and I'm sure this was nothing but i felt for rapid taps at the back of my head that snapped me back into focus on rose, and they scared me. Like genuinely scared me my heart was pounding, rather rapidly. I told her sorry for spacing out and thanks for grabbing my attention you really gave me a scare. This could have been anything outside of the wonderland in real life I'm not sure, Id like to not it here for personal benefits is all.

Visualizing is hard for me, ill have to work on it, like I said I don't actual;y know if I was seeing anything. It baffles me.

Also another thought it how does deviation work, if your visualizing it how you want does it just seem different even though your visualizing something thats supposed to be the same, Ill have to wait and find out.

I hope i can work on visualization a lot because if deviation happens and I cant even see it I would never know. Visualization and keeping focused is something I definitely need to work on.
[EDIT]
I forgot to mention just so I can look back on these and also out of curiosity, After my forcing session I felt tired and groggy although it could be because i might have fallen asleep, I'm still unsure if i did or not but that could be why if its not a common thing.

Ill probably narrate the rest of the day, or try to do so.
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#3
My suggestion is to keep in mind that slow is smooth and smooth is fast. You're ultimately on the right track across the board, it's obvious you've read up on guides and done some research. Now is the time to keep things deliberate, easy, and simple to achieve. Do your best to keep Rose in mind as much as you can without burning yourself out. Develop the mental muscles you're going to be flexing for the rest of her development process.
Most of all, have fun with her. Even if she's a blob, she's still your tulpa. Keep staying persistent and you'll get results.

Best of luck, I'll be staying up to date with your progress.
The most terrifying thing about the universe is not that it is hostile but that it is indifferent. In the vast darkness we must supply our own light.
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#4
4/17/2014

Small Update:
Narrated for the most of the day, introduced rose to doctor who and eat some food with her, I read somewhere that a guys tulpa can taste what he tastes so I hope she liked the food. and introducing her to Dr.Who was awkward as I'm only on season 2 and "rose" is still around if she ever leaves (please no spoilers) and I didn't even think about the two being named the same. although Rose for my tulpa is a place holder unless she likes it and decides to keep it. She eat pizza, and watched Dr.Who I hope she enjoyed it.
[Edit]

I forgot to thank you for the advice Raxter, and ill definitely do so! I decided to go ahead and get a basis for her form just to have something to talk to instead of a blob, but since I cant tell how well my visualization is because I don't really remember actually viewing anything. Ive been keeping her in mind a lot and I'm starting to narrate a lot.
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#5
4/18/2014

Day 2:

No forcing yet, I've managed no time to do so yet, I also think there is too many distractions to even get a good hour without being disturbed and I would want to do that.

I've narrated almost all morning so thats good, I have no trouble narrating its not hard for me to keep it up, ill occasionally drop it to focus on doing something but I'm getting better at multitasking.

Question, I haven't read anything that I remember on how deviation occurs it baffles me at the thought of it, and honestly cant wait to experience it. Even with that said, how does it happen? If you are focused on visualizing a house in every detail you remember from the last time, if deviation occurs how would you know if you are only trying to imagine the house as it was. maybe I'm being too confusing, but if you have any experience with deviation or any idea on how this occurs please do share.

Maybe its something I just have to experience for myself
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#6
4/19/2014

Wasn't able to force last night and i feel really bad, this weekend is going to be chaotic, holidays are not enjoyable. I narrated to her all day so maybe that helped. I do feel bad for not forcing. OH! almost forgot, headaches I decided to listen to some music and introduce rose to some, and I had a headache throughout all of the music until I played "Heart Shaped Box" and then the headache stopped, I came to the conclusion that it was rose (Probably just a side effect because I narrated all day) But, what kind of made me think more that it was Rose, when I changed the song. Headache, changed it back, gone. I tested this a few times with the same result so maybe she was saying she likes the song. When I turned the music off getting ready to leave slight headache in protest probably. I treated it as it was her, mostly because I wanted to believe it was. Ill force double today to make it up to her.
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#7
Things got really messy on my end, family issues moving and a lot of other stuff, I attempted to narrate every day. but it got to the point where I couldn't even do that, I squeezed in a forcing session to tell rose that I might be gone for sometime and I don't know when i'll be back, it felt horrible. I laid her down on her bed and told her to sleep until I got back, I think things have slowed down enough for it to be that time. I hope this doesn't ruin our bond. I would whisper to her every now and then at night when I actually could afford not to go straight to sleep just reassuring her that I haven't forgotten her. I wish I knew this would happen and I would have waited. I feel horrible and have a lot of make up work to do, but i'm going to pick things up where they left off. I hope I handled the situation correctly making her sleep until I came back. I just hope she actually did sleep, maybe it wont feel as long to her as it has to me. I hope so :/ I'm going to wake her up today. I hope this goes well
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