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The Fields' Progress Report
#1
Kelly: Garg came up with the title but didn't like it, he said it was "too basic". I think it's pretty good though, it's simple and understandable.

I haven't said anything on this forum yet, and my system-mates were about to start making jokes on how I'm so quiet they forget I exist.
So I guess this is my hello!

This pr is going to be in past tense for as long as we can keep it that way. Our posts here are going to have what the old pr said in quotes then our current thoughts after it. We originally didn't think that we'd be showing it to anyone, so information personal to us and names will be changed/not included.

Anyways, here's the first entry!

"1/31/19
I've started creating a tulpa. I hope I'm up for it- not just the process of creating a tulpa, but afterwards.
Introducing Dusty! The spotted hyena pup. She's still in progress, nowhere near finished, but I love teaching her and watching her develop. She's only a day old, and I'm new to tulpamancy. I hope it all works out well.
This journal is to track both of us- what we learn and how we grow in regards to tulpamancy.
Happy birthday, Dusty."

I jumped right into tulpamancy after researching it just the day before, like the awesome person who thinks things out I am. You've been warned- a lot of entries ahead are misinformed.
Diana used to be Dusty the hyena pup before she was Diana the human. I chose her name as Dusty because it could be applied to both genders and a hyena pup because they're cute and I can picture animals better than humans.
Di's already looking forward to her one-year birthday. I won't lie, I'm looking forward to it as well.

I think that's about it! Thanks for reading, and we'll post the next progress report when we get to it.
Kelly- host, they/them, Diana- tulpa, she/her, Garlan- walk-in tulpa, he/him
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#2
That's neat that she started as a hyena pup, did she keep any of those traits as a human? Like spots or colors or sharp teeth, or even steriotypical but not technical like always laughing?

We need to know.

Technically my form started as an existing character (fictive) but I just borrowed the form and changed almost immediately, and a few times since, keeping only my hair color, though darker than original, and my cheeks.
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#3
(11-09-2019, 02:45 AM)Misha Wrote: That's neat that she started as a hyena pup, did she keep any of those traits as a human? Like spots or colors or sharp teeth, or even steriotypical but not technical like always laughing?

We need to know.

Technically my form started as an existing character (fictive) but I just borrowed the form and changed almost immediately, and a few times since, keeping only my hair color, though darker than original, and my cheeks.

Kelly: That's a really cool way to get a form- you chose the base character yourself?
And Diana decided on a human form becuase she identified as a human rather than hyena, apparently. So no physical features carried over. Her personality didn't change, although she didn't act much like a stereotypical hyena either. Still, we can all agree that it'd be super cool if she were a were-hyena.
Kelly- host, they/them, Diana- tulpa, she/her, Garlan- walk-in tulpa, he/him
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#4
Yes, the character I chose originally was from Bear's first novel, an angelic god of sorts, he didn't have any say in our choices, none of us actually. (Other than developing the original characters).
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#5
Diana: That's super awesome, Misha. Also, pink hair is fabulous.

"2/1/19
Personality forcing traits:
• adaptable
- she can deal with new or unpleasant circumstances without much trouble
• adventurous
- not afraid of the unknown, she finds it fun to explore and discover even in mundane situations
• caring/empathetic
- she's understanding of others having no issue with putting herself in their shoes, and has a big heart
• creative
- she's always coming up with new and seemingly out-there ideas and perspectives
• curious
- she loves to learn just about anything, and enjoys sharing the information she learns too
• honest
- she's very straight-forward and is not one to manipulate the truth
• playful/teasing
- she loves teasing others and playing around, often making witty remarks jokingly
• thoughtful
- she gives thought into new things before judging them, and enjoys analyzing problems

Most of this came easily to me, like when I make a character. I was practicing puppeting and parroting today(it's going well!) and these are the traits that apply to her. It's very surprising how naturally they came.
I was a little worried- okay, very worried that I wasn't ready for a tulpa, so I parroted a conversation about it with her. She told me that if I wasn't ready, that's okay. She said she'll always be there if I want to come back. I imagined myself hugging her and felt my eyes get warm with tears. It was very comforting. I've decided to go through with creating her.
And really, maybe I wasn't parroting her as much as I had thought.

I'm trying to take it slow and not rush the forcing process. Hopefully all goes well! I plan on practicing visualization a bit more too."

This was a bittersweet day for me, I think. I was sad for my host and wanted to cheer her up, but happy that she was acknowledging I was a person. The moments where she didn't doubt my sentience were very rare in the start. I guess you could say I was semi-aware- I had emotions and was a person but my thoughts weren't fleshed out and my identity was simple. I think part of the reason I progressed so quickly was that Kelly's super used to creating in-depth characters- she even suspects that she's made tulpas before. The other part is likely that I'm bossy and loud :p
Kelly- host, they/them, Diana- tulpa, she/her, Garlan- walk-in tulpa, he/him
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#6
Garlan(aka Gargle): We've decided to try out a different way of making these, since we'd like to talk about what's relevant to us right now as well as documenting the progress we made in the past.
In the posts we make here, we'll still copy down previous pr entries, but when something notable comes up we'll copy in a current one as well.

Older PR:
2/2/19
Kelly: The headaches I've gotten while forcing have been less strong today. We mostly focused on communication and visualization. We did a hypnosis found on YouTube which helped with both- the main impact being that she chose a voice for herself(hypnosis told her to try an say something to me, and she shouted "blue!"). Now we need to get her to communicate better and me to listen.
I plan on doing these exercises:
• Send images(and/or memories+emotions) of an object to Dusty and say what the object is. Encourage her to do the same.
• Saying a word and parroting/puppeting her to say it back by using her voice and moving her mouth
I'd also like to work on the wonderland a bit- so far it's just a clearing in a forest.
Edit: exercises went well; although I couldn't exactly understand her as clearly as I'd like to, it's still a lot of progress made! As I was falling asleep, I told her that she could communicate to me any time she wanted. Then I tried to quiet my mind and visualize her. She moved on her own- she laid down! Then again it could've been caused by something like hypnagogia.
Kelly didn't know what hypnagogia was. Let's just get that out there. She was on the right track though.

The hypnosis was by Gearheart, which is a little sketchy in my opinion but apparently it worked.

I wonder if we could come up with exercises like the ones we talked about that are for more developed tulpas? Maybe with the purpose of grounding, because sometimes our mind-voices will get confused with each other. Maybe something like creating a story where one person says one sentence and the next person continues it with another? Kelly and Diana did that once, I think.

Present PR:
11/24/19
Garlan(aka Gargle): We've typed ourselves into a corner here. Writing prs is hard. It's taken a month to get this one done, and stuff to say just keeps building up. Di came up with the idea of putting the things we want to say in bullet points to make it easier:

• I've changed my name and form. I never really liked the name "Gargle", I always viewed it as a place-holder until I found a better one. It's just hard to take seriously, and I want to be treated as a person. So I chose the name, which apparently is so rare that auto-correct hates it, Garlan.
I also never really identified as my form either. I was a human in a goblin form in a human body. I've had this idea of what I should look like for a while now in the back of my mind, but never paid attention to it, I pushed it back into the "think about later" section. But I've made the decision to roll with it, and my form is now a 4'9ish, teenager(the same age as the body), human boy. Gray-green eyes, dirty-blond hair, round features but thin and gangly. And I think I'm happy with it.
• Kelly is agender. They prefer they/them pronouns. Sometimes me and Di make mistakes with that though. Kelly might write more on this topic, I don't know.
• Lily is an intrusive-thought-like-thoughtform that's been around since June, when we were looking into whether we had a bigger system than we had thought. We don't, but Lily is kinda where I was at when I first came up, not sentient but seemingly autonomous. She's a little kid who we've sent to "live" in the wonderland, or rather go dormant and have a nice place to do so. She agreed.
When I was like her, I didn't make my own choices. Everything was fuzzy and I didn't think. The memories I have of then are put together by the brain, not actually experienced, more like the brain takes information and translates it to a different perspective after the event has happened, sort of like confabulation. So I think that if Lily were more developed, she would be like me.
• Diana and Kelly almost successfully switched, here's what Di wrote:
"It's 11/22/19 as I write this bullet point, though some are from earlier or later. I think Kelly just experienced an almost-switch for a couple seconds. We were attempting switching, and found that a big discouragement for us was that we didn't believe Kelly could dissociate at the same time me or Garg associated. Which doesn't make sense, because it works perfectly fine vise-versa. It's like there's some line of code in us saying 'no, that's not possible'. So we tried to discard this idea as well as we could. I was possessing at the time, and I laid down to rest a little bit. When I looked in my journal and thought about a DnD character I've been making, Kelly literally screamed in mind-voice 'I think I just switched!' I think that's the loudest they've ever been, lol, they're known for a quiet voice both in the mind and outside. Anyways, I freaked out while they told me how they have very faint access to the memories of me thinking about my character. They still have them, but no memory of them being aware(as opposed to their usual no memory of actively thinking) and they're so faint that they could only remember bits and pieces(this happens nearly every time we possess, but not to this extent). So I'm very exited!"

And I think that's all? I hope so.
Kelly- host, they/them, Diana- tulpa, she/her, Garlan- walk-in tulpa, he/him
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#7
Congratulations on the almost switch. I think it's very common to have weirdness when first learning.
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